Friday night, July 10th 2009.  I left the trailhead for a ride of the
Fort Custer red loop at 8:10 pm.  (I have exact numbers on all of this
because it was recorded in my cyclocomputer / HRM.)  It was warm and
muggy and the mosquitoes were the worst I've ever seen there.

I ride the red loop for time, lap-marking certain milestones.  Based
on my times at those milestones, this was my fastest ride at Custer
this year so far, although still slow by the standards of a few years
ago.  At 42:50 into the ride, or a little before 9 pm, I hit the first
descent of the "Crazy Beaver" loop, a descent and hairpin right turn.
I approached it at 20.2 mph, braked to enter the curve, then when
descending my bike began to slip out from under me.  Instinctively, I
disengaged my right foot from the pedal and put it out to break my
fall.

I watched it happen:  my toe caught the sand and the force of my
forward motion spun it clockwise, hard.  I flew forward off the bike
and before I even landed, I was thinking the words "tib-fib fracture."

I laid on my back for a second, thinking about whether I was hurt
anywhere else.  My right shoulder and hip were smarting a little, but
I didn't think they were really hurt (and they weren't).  My ankle of
course was in extreme pain.  My cell phone had been almost out of
battery, so I had left it in the car.  This was a decision I now
regretted.

I shouted a couple of times for help, but there had been only one car
in the trailhead parking lot when I left, and I didn't think there was
any realistic chance that anyone would still be riding.  I knew it
would be dark in an hour, and I'd better get moving.

Using my bike as a crutch, I hopped on my left leg back up the hill to
flat ground.  I knew it was about 2/3 of a mile back to the trailhead,
and I guessed that would take me about an hour of crawling and
hopping.  The mosquitoes were blatantly ignoring the "Deep Woods" Off
spray I had used and eating me alive.  My ankle was numbing up, which
sounds like a good thing, but it was worrying me.  I still had PMS --
pulse, motor, sensation -- in my toes, so I knew I was getting
circulation to my foot, at least.

My plan was to find a tree, brace myself on it, get on the bike and
pedal, with one foot, back to the trailhead.  First, I had to fix my
chain and get the bike shifted to a very low gear, which took about
five minutes.  When it came time to get on the bike, I started to
realize just how risky and scary my plan was.  Still, I knew I didn't
have the strength in my left leg to hop my way out.

Just as I began to imagine the National Geographic Special they'd make
about my self-rescue, four cyclists happened along.  The one in the
lead, "Arnie," saw me and slowed.  All I said was, "I need help," and
he was all over it.  We got me sitting on the bike, and he wheeled me
back to the trailhead.  I got into my car while Arnie put my bike on
the rack.  There was enough juice left in my phone to call my wife and
tell her to get a neighbor to drive her to the hospital to meet us,
which she did.

At the ER, I went through triage and vitals, then straight to a room.
A nurse asked me when my last tetanus shot was and since it was seven
and a half years ago, she said I'd get a new one.  (I never did get it
and will have to arrange one next week.)  After a while, I got an IM
shot of Dilaudid, which had absolutely zero effect.  The doc ordered
an IV shot of the same, but the ortho guy showed up before and I
turned it down, thinking the "ankle block" (local anetsthetic) would
be enough to protect me during the setting of the bone.

My wife convinced me that this plan was, in a word, idiotic, and I
asked for, and got the IV shot of Dilaudid, which made a substantial
difference.  The ankle block, involving as it did a long needle
shooting polocaine deep into various places in my ankle joint, was
pretty unpleasant.  The setting of the bone itself, which took several
minutes, was also unpleasant.  "Breathe," they told me, but breathing
doesn't help me deal with pain.  Fortunately, there's always swearing,
which is a great release.

They sent me home with instructions to put NO weight on the injury,
and to ice it periodically.  I also got a scrip for Percocet, which
I've never had before.  I had Vicodin a few years ago, which made me
loopy as all hell -- Percocet mitigates the pain nicely, but I still
feel perfectly alert.  Being on my back constantly with my leg
elevated really really sucks a lot.  I have an ortho appointment with
a foot and ankle specialist on July 20th, with surgery tentatively
scheduled for the 22nd.