SOME ADS FOUND IN THE LOCAL NEWSPAPERS:

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

  Tired of cleaning yourself?  Let me do it.


  2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings,
  555-1234.  Leave mess.

  Lost: small apricot poodle.  Reward.  Neutered.  Like one of the
family.

  A superb and inexpensive restaurant.  Fine food expertly served by
waitresses in appetizing forms.

  Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children
$2.00.

  For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large
drawers.

 Four-poster bed, 101 years old.  Perfect for antique lover.

  Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to
take home, too.

 Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

  Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at
night.

  We do not tear your clothing with machinery.  We do it carefully
by  hand.

  For Sale.  Three canaries of undermined sex.

  For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan
Hussy.

  Great Dames for sale.

    Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

  Vacation Special: have your home exterminated