-< The truth about "My Three Sons" >-

Keywords: television, conspiracy

Not a response to the question, just a very entertaining theory from
Spy Magazine's, Bill Flanagan.

My Vanishing Sons

Between 1960 and 1972 millions of American television viewers enjoyed
the antics of the Douglas family on "My Three Sons."

Fred MacMurray played Steve Douglas, a widower and the apparently devoted
father of three boys.  But over the years, it now seems clear, the specter
of death continued to stalk the star-crossed Douglas clan- with no
acknowledgement ever made by the preternaturally composed dad.  Recent
films such as "Blue Velvet" have exposed the maggots hiding beneath the
rock of America's TV suburbia.  In that context, those old "My Three Sons"
episodes take on a disturbing aspect.  Everywhere there are hints of 
goings-on just outside the eye of the camera, just beyond that invisable
fourth wall.

Fred MacMurray rose to fame on the strength of his motion pictures such
as "Double Indemnity" - films noir that explored the rictus behind the
neighborly smile, the skull beneath the middle-class skin.

Perhaps when MacMurrays advertisers were choosing a TV vehicle for the
fading movie star in the late 1950's, they deliberately picked a scenario
with an underlying tension, a hint of muffled screams beneath the laugh
track.  Through its 12 seasons "My Three Sons" told the story of a
suburban family whose members disappeared with alarming regularity.
Steve Douglas' stated alibis for his vanishing family made little sense,
should certainly have piqued the interest of local police and may help
explain why the Douglas family abruptly quit "Bryant Park" for North
Hollywood at the start of the 1966-67 season.

An examination of the evidence suggests that Steve Douglas was a murderer
who eliminated members of his family as they became conscious of his
misdeeds.  By the time the series left the air, only Chip, the youngest
and the stupidest of the original three sons, was left to witness Dad's
death spree.

How They Disappeared

Mrs. Steve Douglas.  When we first meet the family, in 1960, Steve Douglas
is a putative widower raising sons Mike, Robbie and Chip with the help
of an old man named Bub, alledgedly the boys' maternal grandfather.
Although Chip is hardly more than a toddler, no mention is ever made of
the late Mrs. Douglas, beyond the fact that her untimely death leaves
her husband free to date.

Bub.  In 1964 the jolly grandfather, perhaps beginning to suspect that his
daughter's death several years earlier was no accident suddenly
disappears.  Dad tells the boys that Bub has gone to "visit his mother
in Ireland" and will be back soon.  It seems dubious that Bub, a man
in his 70's, could have a living mother, but the trusting sons fall
for it.

In that same episode a mysterious seaman arrives at the Douglas home.
Dad convinces the boys that this rough character is their "Uncle Charley"
who will stick around to help out until Bub comes home.  Eight years later
Bub has still not returned.

Mike.  Eventually the eldest son reaches an age at which he might begin to
question his father.  Thus, a year after Bub vanishes, Mike disappears.
First Dad tells Robbie and Chip that Mike has gone on a honeymoon-
and then he announces that Mike has "moved east."  Mike never returns.

Ernie's parents.  Down one son, Steve Douglas begins to take special
interest in Chip's little pal, Ernie, who has been hanging around the
Douglas' home for a couple of seasons.  When Ernie is orphaned, Steve
generously offers to adopt the boy.  No mention is ever made of how Ernie's
parents mettheir premature death, but it is not long afyter this that 
the Douglas clan flees their Midwestern home for California.

(An even more bizarre note: Though it had been established that Chip
and Ernie were in the same grammer school class, once Ernie becomes the 
new third son, Dad claims Ernie is younger than Chip and forces to go
back severeal grades in his new school.)

Robbie.  In California Robbie marries a college friend and promptly
seed her with triplets.  Robbie, still a teenager, cannot afford to
provide for his spawn.  Dad invites Robbie, Katie and the triplets to
live under his roof.  Two years later Robbie is gone- though the pretty
Katie continues to live with her missing husband's father.  Visitors
are told that Robbie is "away on a business trip" though when the
series leaves the air, Robbie is still gone.

We can only wonder how long it was after the series ended its run that
lunkhead Chip or ditz Ernie finally asked Dad one question too many and
joined Mom, Bub, Mike and Robbie on the long vacation "to visit Bub's
mother""on business""back east."