Three Beds and a Cradle (Decameron 9.6)

Not long since, in the valley of Mugnone, there lived a good man who
earned his meager living by selling food and drink to wayfarers.
Although he was poor and had but a small house, at certain times, in
a pinch, he would give a night's lodging, not to just anyone, but
only to people that he already knew.  

He had a wife, a very handsome woman, by whom he had had two children.
One was a fine buxom lass of some fiteen or sixteen years of age
named Niccolosa, who was not yet married; the other was a little
child, not yet a year old, still being nursed at his mother's breast.

Now a young gentleman of Florence, a sprightly and pleasant youth who
used to spend much of his time in the countyside, had cast his eyes
on Niccolosa and loved her ardently.  She, who gloried greatly in
being beloved of so noble a youth, while striving with pleasing
fashions to maintain him in his affection, became no less enamored of
him.  More than once, by mutual accord, would this their love had
been brought to consumation, but that Pinuccio (for such was the young
man's name) feared to bring reproach upon his mistress and himself.  

At length, however, his ardor growing daily more intense, he could no
longer master his desire to consort with her, come what may.  It
occurred to him that he should find a means of lodging with her
father overnight.  Pinuccio was certain, from his knowledge of the
way in which her father's house was laid out, that he could somehow
contrive to pass the night in her company without any being the
wiser.  No sooner had he conceived this design than he proceeded
without delay to carry it into execution.

Late one afternoon, in company with a trusty friend of his called
Adriano (who knew of his love), he hired a couple of horses, filling
their saddle-bags only with straw, and the two set out from
Florence.  After riding in a wide circle, they came to the valley of
Mugnone, shortly after night had fallen.  Then, turning around, to
appear as if they were on their way back from the Romagna, they made
for the good man's house and knocked upon his door.  The host, being
very well acquainted with both of them, promptly opened the door.

Pinuccio said to him, "Look, you'll have to put us up for the night.
We had thought to reach Florence before dark, but as you can see, we
have made such slow progress that this is as far as we've come, and
the city gates will have been closed by now."

"My dear Pinuccio," answered the host, "you know well how ill suited
my house is to lodge such men as you are.  But no matter, since night
has fallen and you've nowhere else to go, I will gladly put you up as
best I can."  So the two young men alighted and entered the inn.  They
had brought plenty to eat with them, and so had a hearty supper with
their host.

Now, the good man had but one very small bedchamber, wherein were
three small beds set as best he could, leaving so little space that
it was almost impossible to move between them.  Two were at one end
of the room, and the third over against the opposite side.  The least
ill of the three the host made ready for the two friends and invited
them to sleep there for the night.  Then, after a while, the
gentlemen appearing to be asleep (though in truth, neither was), he
settled his daughter in one of the other two beds, whilst he and his
wife got into the third.  His wife set by her bedside the cradle
which contained her infant son.

Things being ordered in this fashion, and Pinuccio having seen
everything, after a while, when it seemed to him that everyone was
asleep, he arose softly.  Going to the bed where his lady-love was
sleeping, Pinuccio laid himself beside her.  Although she was
somewhat alarmed, she received him joyously into her arms.  They then
proceeded to take their fill of that pleasure for which both had most
desired.

Whilst Pinuccio and his mistress were thus employed, it chanced that
a cat knocked something over in the kitchen, which the good wife,
awakening, heard.  Fearing that it had broken something of value, she
arose in the dark and went to where she had heard the noise.

Meanwhile, Adriano, but half awake, arose to obey the call of
nature.  Groping his way towards the door, he came upon the cradle
where it had been set by the good wife.  Unable to pass without moving
it, Adriano picked it up and set it down behind him, beside his own
bed.  Then, having accomplished that for which he had arisen, he
returned to his bed again, forgetting all about the cradle.

The good wife, having found that the cat had knocked over only an old
plate, never bothered to kindle a light, but, chiding the cat,
returned to the chamber and groped her way to the bed where her
husband lay.  Finding the cradle not there, she siad to herself,
"Mercy!  What a foolish thing I was about to do!  As I'm a Christian,
I almost went right into our guest's bed!"  Then, going a little
farther and finding the cradle, she entered the bed that it stood
next to and laid herself down beside Adriano, thinking to couch with
her husband.  Adriano, who was not yet asleep, feeling this, received
her well and joyously; boarding her vessel in a trice, he clapped on
full sail, to the no small contentment of the lady.

Meanwhile, Pinuccio, fearing that sleep should surprise him and his
lass, and having taken his fill of pleasure, arose from her to return
to his own bed.  Finding the cradle in his way, he mistook his own bed
for that of his host; and so, going a little farther, he lay down
with the host, who awoke at his coming.

Pinuccio, thinking himself beside Adriano, said, "I tell you, there
never was so sweet a creature as is Niccolosa.  Cock's body, I have
had with her the rarest sport ever man had with woman.  Why, since I
left you, I have ridden at least six times into the country."

The host, hearing this talk and being not overly pleased with it,
more angered than well-advised, exclaimed, "Pinuccio, what villainy
is this?  I don't know why you should have used me thus, but by all
that's holy, I'll pay you back for it!"

Pinuccio, who was not the wisest lad in the world, on seeing his
mistake, did not address himself to mend it as best he might, but
said, "Pay me back?  How?  What can *you* do to _me_?"

The hostess, who thought herself with her husband, said to Adriano,
"Heavens!  Just listen to the way our guests are arguing with one
another!"

Adriano laughingly said, "Leave them be, God give them all an ill
year!  They drank far too much last night."

The good wife had alreadythought that one of the voices from the
other bed sounded like her husband.  Now, hearing Adriano speak to
her, she at once realized where and with whom she had been. 
Whereupon, like a wise woman as she was, she arose at once without
saying a word, and taking her little son's cradle, carried it to the
side of her daughter's bed, and lay down with her.  Then, pretending
to have been aroused by her husband's clamor, she called out to him
and demanded to know what he and Pinuccio were arguing about.

He answered, "Don't you hear what he says he's been doing unto
Niccolosa this night?"

"Marry," quoth she, "he lies in his throat, for he was never a-bed
with Niccolosa, seeing that I have lain her all night, being unable
to sleep on account of your snoring.  You are a fool to believe him. 
You men drink so much of an evening that you do nothing but dream all
night, and fare hither and thither without knowing it, and fancy you
do wonders.  'Tis a thousand pities that you don't all break your
necks.  Why is Pinuccio over there anyway?  Why isn't he in his own
bed?"

Adriano, on his part, seeing how adroitly the good wife went about to
cover up her own shame and that of her daughter, chimed in with,
"Pinuccio, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not
to travel; for that this habit of yours of walking in your sleep and
telling for true the fantastic things that you dream of will land you
into serious trouble one of these days.  Come back to bed, God give
you an ill night!"

The host, hearing what his wife and Adriano said, began to believe in
good earnest that Pinuccio was dreaming.  Accordingly, taking him by
the shoulders, he fell to shaking and calling him, saying, "Pinuccio,
awake!  Go back to your own bed!"  Pinuccio, who, if he was not the
wisest lad in the world, was yet not the most foolish either, began
to wander off into other extravagances, after the fashion of a man
a-dream; which made the host nearly split his sides with laughter.

At last, he pretended to awake from the shaking, and calling to
Adriano said, "Why have you woken me up?  Is it morning already?" 
"Aye," answered the other, "come here."  Accordingly, Pinuccio,
dissembling and making a show of being sleepy-eyed, arose at last
from beside the host and went back to bed with Adriano.

The next day, after they had risen, the host fell to laughing and
mocking at Pinuccio and his dreams.  In this way, they passed from
one jest to another, until the young men, having saddled their horses
and having had a farewell drink with the host, mounted their steeds
once more and returned to Florence.

Thereafter, Pinuccio found other means of consorting with Niccolosa. 
She, for her part, vowed to her mother that he had certainly dreamt
the whole thing.  And so, the good wife vividly remembering Adriano's
embraces, and truly believing that she alone had woken, all who were
involved were well satisfied with what had passed that night.