Orlando in Love, Episode 45: Doristella's Tale A lyricist named Arion, around the Sea of Sicily, had such a sweet voice for his words, that tunnies and dolphins came to hear. Worthy of admiration, this, an audience of deep-sea fish; My lyre, however, has more grace, since it lures /you/ to listen, lords. I think its grace is heaven-sent, and I apply my intellect to speak so you'll be satisfied. I hope I'm not displeasing you -- your looks lead me to doubt at times -- if I resume the story I've~been telling you for many days. The baron Brandymart, who is~the heir to the Count of Castle Wild, now travels in the eastern lands with his lady Fiordiligi. They seek their friend Orlando, But~events have led them far from him. -- They found a magic palace, with~enchanted beings guarding it; and an _old_ knight who led those beasts. Bold Brandymart defeated them, And rescued a damsel, Doristella. She asked the knight to lead her home to Liza, where her father ruled. Brandymart naturally agreed. Between two ladies rides the knight~in silence, for he does not speak (something is on his mind, perhaps), and Doristella gives a laugh~as she addresses them, "I see~it's up to me to tell some tale to make our lodging place seem nearer: stories make journeys seem much shorter. "I volunteer to tell _my_ tale, in which you'll hear about the way I was conducted to that palace, where I have been confined so long. I think that you will be amused~and entertained when you learn how~no shield protects a jealous man -- that's good, since he deserves the worst. -- "My father, Doliston, once had~_two_ daughters, but the eldest one~was kidnapped when she was still young down by the sea on Liza's shore. She was a baron's promised bride, meant for Armenia's prince, poor girl, and news was never had of her although men searched the whole wide world." "The boy she'd been betrothed to grew, a handsome lad named Teodor; And since his city was not far from where my father's castle was, often that gentleman would come~to visit, like a relative, though, tragically, he wasn't one. "He pleased me so, I fell in love: and I was in his heart, I know. My love, perhaps, ignited his, since that man's made of stubborn steel~who, when he's loved, does not love back. "My father's hospitality frequently led him to our castle, and he revealed his will, at last, believing me not yet betrothed. -- But that.old, perfidious, wicked rogue you justly slaughtered at the palace asked for my hand that very day, and my old father promised me. "When I learned that, you can believe that I cursed heaven, I cursed nature. I said, 'Macon cannot now want~me to pursue his law and rule, since he created me a woman, born in the world with such ill luck that birds, beasts, every animal, lives freer, with less grief than me. "'I see examples everywhere: The deer and doves are free to love and follow after whom they please, yet someone I don't even know~wins me! Deceptive, cruel, false Fate! "'Must I submit? And will I see,~ever, the one who pleases me? I _will_ love as I please, though I'll~love secretly, so no one knows.' -- "I made this bargain with myself -- what I've described -- but then the time~arrived when I was made a wife. I did nor feel alive -- or dead. "While Teodor, the knight I loved,~stayed at home -- and I was denied him -- to Bursa my misfortune sent me. To Anatolia I went. -- "My husband, the Sobass of Bursa -- he was a Turk by birth -- was thought~a valiant and a mighty man, but he was negligent in bed; And yet, I could have lived with that if he had given me a /chance,/ but the boor was extremely jealous and guarded me like property. "Morning to noon to evening, he~locked me away, out of the sun. That man did not trust anyone. "Heaven will help the needy, though, and soon my husband had to go~with other Turks across the sea. The Turks attacked a Grecian king and duty, not desire, made~my husband join this large invasion. -- "He had a slave, by name GambOn, who was a horror to behold: One eye ran tears, the other crossed; he was all scabs, his nose clipped off. "He left me in this foul slave's care and ordered him to watch me well. He threatened him with awful words with every punishment and pain if he should ever leave my side during the day or dark of night. Imagine, baron, how I felt: I'd leapt from frying pan to fire. -- "To Bursa, from Armenia came~my Teodor, who, as.I've.said~I loved, to reignite our flame. He carried an expedient -- gold in a quantity sufficient~to keep GambOn content: in fact,~GambOn unlocked my door each evening and put my man to bed with me. "What happened next we hadn't planned: My husband came home early, and~no one in Bursa knew it till~that man was knocking on the door. "Imagine, baron, for yourself if my dear lover, Teodor~and I were not distressed by this. "GambOn then heard my husband's voice~and said, 'The master's here! We're dead!' -- "Teodor knew not what to do, but I arranged for his escape, quietly leading him downstairs,~telling him, "'When my husband comes~in, at that moment, slip out the back. Once you're outside -- and in your clothes -- @{hand over pants} then who can prove what happened here? And if my husband yells for years, don't think he'll move me to confess. "'If it will help, I'll swear an oath: _Death_ to the wench who can't dissemble! I'll have him by the beard, that goat!' -- "My husband screamed now at the gate, suspicious, since there'd been delay. GambOn was cursing, in a rage, and shouting, 'May Macon be damned! I'm looking for the key! I've lost it~somewhere inside the mattress straw. Oh, here! I've found the stupid thing! I'm coming! I'll be with you soon!' "He spoke, descended to the gate, and opened it with noise and haste, and when Usbego -- that's my husband -~ came in, then Teodor escaped, and as he shut the door behind him, Usbego to my chamber climbed, where I pretended to be sleeping~quietly, like a sluggish wife. "Usbego took a torch and searched under the bed and everywhere, and I was thinking, 'You can look~forever, but I'll cuckold you~as I like!' "Meanwhile, the brute scoured~the place and at the bed's foot spied~the /cloak/ that Teodor had worn and in his hurry left behind. -- "After Usbego saw the cloak, he said outrageous things to me, but I kept my composure and~with calm looks I denied his charges. "GambOn, though, needed bolstering: he begged for mercy, both hands joined. I think he wanted to explain, yet my mad husband would not listen. "He had GambOn tied by his slaves~and gave them orders when horns sounded (a sign that sentence was pronounced), they must force him to walk up to~the gallows, and then they must hang him. "All his retainers, one by one, set out to do what must be done. My jealous husband was so angry, he wished to see GambOn hang high. Outrage and pride tormented him -- you had to see it to believe it. -- "Now Teodor had well escaped and was no longer fearful -- then,~recalling his forgotten cloak, he became anxious once again. "He looked all over for GambOn until he found him -- in a fix, the worst there is, unless you're dead. He also recognized my husband, pacing along behind his slaves. -- "The young man came up with a plan. and quickly charged right at GambOn. He socked his jaw and punched his nose, @ with blow on blow and said, "'You rogue!~You robber! Thief! Go on! It's fit~that you be hanged -- for you deserve it. Confess, you false thief! Where's my cloak? You stole it last night at the inn. "'Would that your master were nearby: I'd tell him all about your crimes. He should know it is proper that~you restitute me for my stuff! I'll take my payment out in punches if you won't give me merchandise!' "He jabs and kicks him constantly, and things were getting very rough~for poor old GambOn by this time, though this scheme /was/ to save his life. -- "And now Usbego, noticing~how savagely the young man raved, gave credence to what he proclaimed, as anybody would have done. "He did not know his name, for one, and then, he never would have guessed this stranger had come from afar for the love he himself despised. "Usbego made GambOn go home, and there, in secret, he demanded~to know what he'd done to that man. GambOn, who was a rogue and villain, well knew the way to tell a tale He made a finger seem an arm. @ He got off, and saved me from harm. -- "Do not believe my close escape terrified me or blocked my way. I tried my fortune often, saying, 'Heaven helps those who help themselves!' and though I always managed well, my husband's jealousy remained, and my contempt increased until~slight signs led him to understand. "Desperate to keep me under guard, consumed by grief and misery, he sought a barricaded spot, one that no living soul could reach. "He finally found that magic palace, though it had not the giant then,~or.the.dragon you met at the door. A necromancer put /them/ there." -- Speaking about this, Doristella~had other things she wished to tell -- but then, she caught sight of some men, some mounted, some on foot, approaching from the forest depths. To call them thieves would be no lie: Each shouted louder than the next, "Stop, if you do not want to die!" Brandymart answered them, "Remain~right where you are upon the plain. And if you _dare_ come over here, you'd best be wearing decent armor!" -- Barbotta was the name of one, heartless, ferocious, brainless too, and he came shouting, with much pride, "Now only God could save your hide!" He ran toward them with no pause, but Brandymart attacked him first, and with Tranchera hit his head, splitting Barbotta down the chest. Now his /companions/ rained down swings, and if that armor had not been~enchanted -- as was all he wore -- Brandymart would not have survived. All of those robbers charged at him some from in front, some from behind, each dashing in to make his strike. -- The biggest, fattest one of all was Fugiforca, born to hang. He used a hatchet, and he fought~with such speed he was never touched. He circles round the cavalier, his hatchet making frequent hits. But when he.sees.Brandymart turn his blade, he leaps to earth, howls, runs away. The knight no longer looks for him but takes revenge on other men, slicing some down, and some across: @ nothing but bits of them remain. -- He /then/ runs after Fugiforca, but that knave does not wait for him, and he was racing off tow'rds freedom when Sin and Fortune captured him. When the thief jumped a brier patch, a runner branch reached out and snatched~both feet. As when a snare entraps~a crow -- the crow despairs and scratches, pecks, flaps.its.wings, and tries to fly -- so it was after that rogue tripped. Brandymart, who'd been chasing, gripped~him hard when he caught up with him. He did not want to use his sword, since that seemed cowardly. Instead,~"I'll see you die!" the baron said, "Since truly that's what you deserve. "Tied up, you'll come along with me until I find a castle or~a town, and there, judged by its lord, you will be _hanged_ as your reward." -- And Fugiforca, weeping, answered, "That which you wish is yours to do, but please, I beg you, don't take me~to Liza, that town by the sea. "If you take me to Liza, knight, they'll torture me abominably, with reason, but though I deserve it,~even the stones will pity me. "Please, show me you're compassionate! Not that I think I should escape, since I /deserve/ to lose my life, but let me only die _one_ time. There they will punish me with more~pain than a man has felt before: My _death_ won't satisfy that king, because I've hurt his crown too much. -- "It happened one day by the sea~near Liza: Doliston and Queen~PerOdia were on holiday. I ran up to them by the water and whisked away their baby girl, and for two thousand silver coins, I sold the Count of Castle Wild the daughter of King Doliston. "After that, unbound, unafraid, I robbed that realm continually and stripped men to their shirts and shifts -- but all will be repaid by this." -- For _several_ reasons Brandymart~was happy when he heard his words yet told the thief, "You'll go before~King Doliston, no matter what. He'll punish you as you deserve." He spoke. He tied him to a horse, and threatened, saying he'd do worse, then.handed Doristella the reins. That robber did not speak, since he~was scared of Brandymart. -- They reached~Liza and found there on the field a swarm of soldiers armed for fight, and Doristella greatly grieved. "Alas!" she said. "What evil plight~I find my father in when I~return! His town is under siege!" While they considered that, about~a hundred troops -- with knights to match -- appeared before them suddenly and shouted, "You're our prisoners!" -- "You need to have much more than _words_,"~said Brandymart, "or your /few/ friends~if you think you will capture _us_!" And as he spoke, he drew his sword. He sliced across an officer: That huge man bore a scythe and wore~chain mail and countless plates, but with~one stroke Tranchera truncates him. @ He did the same thing to the rest, did more, if Turpin tells the truth. -- A roar came from the other side: In camp, the soldiers cried, "To arms!" and fell on Brandymart at once~from _everywhere._ He showed great valor, but he was ineffectual~against so many, and those rascals~captured, despite the knight's defense, Fiordiligi, Doristella, and Fugiforca too, that thief. They led him off, already tied, but still that battle did not stop since Brandymart, though hope seemed lost, made such destruction with his blade he stood in blood up to his waist, and his horse could not lift its hooves because of all the men he'd slain. He did not save the ladies, though. He lost them both, that baron bold. Let's leave him and proceed with those~who led them off without delay. -- They came to their leader, _Teodor,_ who.knew Doristella right away, and the maid recognized him as well. For each one loved the other so, no other image filled their hearts, and the world held no joy as great as what they felt when reunited. They embraced, held each other tight, and traded kisses hot with love, and everyone around them died~with envy of such splendid sport. -- Soon Teodor told Doristella why he put Liza under siege and fought her father Doliston. He said, "I came here in despair,~blaming him, thinking him the reason~that renegade made off with you -- I mean Usbego, may God curse him. I didn't know where you had gone." The maid set Teodor's mind~at ease and answered all his questions, telling what had occurred, up till~the time when Brandymart had killed~Usbego at the magic palace; Then plaintively the maiden prayed~for Teodor to save that baron, who was outnumbered and assailed. -- The maid petitioned him to act~at once, and duty prompted him, and so he sent a trumpeter~and herald where the war was fought, and they found Brandymart, quite hot,~hotter than ever, for revenge. But when he heard the proclamation, he stopped, for he was well behaved. He joined the heralds then and went~to Teodor's large royal tent (Teodor ruled Armenia now, his father having died of age), and halfway there he met that king who came with crowds in pomp and triumph, flanked by two fair maidens, here~Fiordiligi, Doristella there. King Teodor received him in~his camp with honor. He regaled him~with the tale of his love affair from the start to this very moment. He sent a worthy diplomat to Doliston and PerOdia to sue for peace and make amends and to make Doristella his. -- Everything happened in a rush -~ all I've told -- with so much confusion that Fugiforca still lay on~a nag with his hands bound in back. A criminal and captive, he -- like all bad men -- got no respect. Brandymart asked King Teodor to have his prisoner watched closely. At Brandymart's request they took~that villain into custody and put iron shackles on his feet. -- The diplomat had spoken well -- with reverence -- to Doliston and Queen PerOdia. He'd been heard. He came out with an olive wreath, a signal, at that time, of peace. All entered Liza festively, but Fugiforca, that false thief, was carried there against his will among the baggage on a mule. In Liza he was recognized and shouted at from every side. Brandymart, when he came before~King Doliston, displayed that thief. The king stared in amazement, for~this was the man who'd snatched his daughter. He marveled that he had been caught -- he knew him to be quick and clever -- and questioned him about his girl to learn what had become of her. -- The thief related everything~he knew, but after he had sold her, he, Fugiforca, had cleared out, and he knew nothing more about her. "I sold her," he said. "My price was~paid by the Count of Castle Wild, a place perhaps a thousand miles~away from here, past Samarkand." -- Then Brandymart, his voice mild,~asked King Doliston if his daughter~had any birthmarks, but his answer~was given by the queen, PerOdia. She said, "About an inch beneath~her right breast, @ if she lives, my daughter~_has_ a birthmark, a berry stain: "When I was pregnant, I remember, I had a craving for some mulberries I stained my breast; when she was born~she had a dark spot on her chest. To tell the truth, no water's force~nor medicine could wash it off." -- When she was silent, Brandymart~had a tale of his own to tell: His lady, Fiordiligi, was~/their eldest daughter/, home again! He moved the others out of sight -- since Fiordiligi was embarrassed -- and made her let them see her breast. @ They needed no more evidence. Doliston and PerOdia were~as happy as a prisoner~who one night dreams that he will hang and is, next day, set free, reprieved. -- Now all eyes brim with tears; and while~everyone weeps with tenderness, the mother and the daughter rush~together and trade hugs and kisses. Pardon was granted Fugiforca, for happy people plead his cause. Everywhere there are joyful sounds: pealing bells, merry cries, and horns. This was the news proclaimed throughout~the city and around the realm: All were asked to the royal revel after the _wedding services._ As was announced, both maidens wed: Brandymart wed Fiordiligi, and Teodor, Doristella fair. -- I don't think they were /virgin/ brides. Few husbands win one of that kind -- one sooner sees a crow that's white -- and those two ladies, as you've heard, had both 'been in the lists' before. Such was the custom in that age; the custom's different today, when every maiden is intact -- let those who doubt search out the facts! If you think what I say 's not true, then I've no more to say to you.