David Arnow's Favorite Quotes

Mark Twain:

If you always tell the truth you never have to remember anything.

Eugene Debs:

I'd rather vote for someone I want and have him not win than vote for someone I don't want and have him win.

J. Paul Myers:

C is its own virus.

Woody Allen:

80% of success is just showing up.

Nameless (by request):

The religions of the world are polymorphic.


Wherever I go, there I am.

A. Phillip Randolph:

At the banquet of nature, there are no reserved seats. You get what you can take and you keep what you can hold. And if you can't take, you can't get. And if you can't hold, you can't keep. And without organization, you can't take.

Dutch [played by Borgnine in Peckinpah's "Wild Bunch"]:

It isn't giving your word that's important; it's who you give your word to.

Leslie Lamport:

A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable.

The Sun JAVA Tutorial:

The following [NON-EXISTENT] figure shows the chain of event handling for a TextField event in the example program.

John Gilmore:

The Internet interprets censorship as damage and routes around it.

Tony Hoare as quoted by Richard Pattis:

You cannot teach beginners top-down programming because they don't know which end is up.

Scott McNealy as quoted by the New York Times (8/15/99:)

I often think of the automobile as nothing more than a Java browser with tires.

Andy Tanenbaum, as The Votemaster

Only in America can a homeless person living in a cardboard box oppose raising taxes on millionaires because he hopes to be a millionaire some day.

The National Cabbage Association:

When cole slaw is outlawed, only outlaws will have cole slaw.

A High Brooklyn College Academic Official:

Everything you say is legitimate-- but when it comes down to cases, the principles are evaporated in a paroxysm of opportunism and expedience.

Peter Davis:

Calling freedom bourgeois is like calling ice cream fattening; you're going to want it anyway.

Cay Horstmann:

I am afraid we'll have to be less coy about the fact that CS is just plain useful.

Owen Astrachan:

If you cheat on your assignments you'll burn in hell forever.

ML Dorf:

Over the years, there are times I have less and less of an idea of what students do and why they do it.

Andrew Maddox:

Interviewer: *Why* do routers and switches work at different levels of the OSI stack?
Maddox: Hell, I dunno. Cuz they *do*, otherwise they'd be the same thing.

Clint Eastwood:

Deserve's got nothin' to do with it.


Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Joanna Arnow:

If it's in a menu, it's a word.

Alena Weiserbs:

I'd rather have magical powers.


The death penalty is too good for those few who truly deserve it.


I know why you think I'm wrong and I know why I might be wrong BUT ... if we were COKE or PEPSI it wouldn't matter.

Anonymous 15 year old:

Manhattan is really just one big mall.

Rohit Parikh (in disbelief):

You want us to vote on a tautology?

Hubert Raphael (upon seeing a recursive function for the first time):

That's it?!

Howard Earle Halpern, Toronto:

I love SEO. It's amazing how a nobody can become a somebody by helping unknowns to become known.

Henry Neeman:

The only thing worse than computing is not computing ....

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