We have talked about the silent participation of the readers/lurkers, whatever you want to call them. But from this discussion, it also dawned on me that there exists the silent participation of the secrets we choose *not* to reveal. We know our whole truth, yet we reveal only a portion of that in an email community based on our "informed decision" in choosing our balance between revelation and privacy. Community members only see the portion we reveal... but we read their responses with our whole truth. Our secrets are silent participants on Socks. That is why you can never put subjects like sex, religion, politics, parenting, etc. in a box with a generalization. That is why you have to ask questions and listen to the different world views that answer, and take the journey toward understanding from unexpected sources that come to you by chance. It takes courage. I think of Emily Bronte's poem, "No coward soul is mine." But it also takes judgment. When a generalization hits me quickly, I think, "but I am sure there are stories held in people's private realms that would smash that. I don't know what they are, but I know they are there. I have them, too." We should always be prepared for the unexpected thought journey, especially in a place like Socks. Generalizations close the door in an online world which is a maze of interlocking ideas. Questions, asked within the expression of personal opinion, open the doors. As with most things I have come across online, it is a matter of tone.