From: kokomo@degroof.raleigh.nc.us (Kokomo (the 'tiel))
Newsgroups: rec.pets.birds
Subject: Human FAQ
Date: Fri, 3 Mar 95 22:56:46 -0500
Message-ID: <+T+VvAPPBh107h@degroof.raleigh.nc.us>
Organization: Nightshade Inc., Raleigh NC
Lines: 56
Species-specific FAQ - Humans
(homo sapiens)
by
Kokomo the 'teil
kokomo@degroof.raleigh.nc.us
Humans are bright, talkative and often affectionate. These charm-
ing giants can be trained to perform a wide range of tricks. Be
warned, though: an improperly socialized human can be clumsy and
even dangerous. When chosing a human, keep an eye out for pok-
ing, grabbing and cage rattling. Fortunately, even the most anti-
social human can be broken of these unpleasant behaviours. Also
be wary of humans that shout the same phrase at you over and
over, especially the phrases ``poliwahnakracker'' and ``hello''.
These humans clearly have severe psychological problems and
should be avoided.
(Editor's note: Nobirdy I know can figure out what ``poliwah-
nakracker'' means. Suggestions, anybirdy?)
Costs:
Humans cost nothing and will often pay for the privilege of
being your pet.
Vocalization:
Humans tend to chatter away every waking hour, often making
no sense whatsoever. However, with proper training, they
can be taught to whistle, especially if you start them off
at an early age. On the other hand, if you can learn to
mimick their chatter back to them, they will become quite
excited, sometimes to the point that they will offer you
their food. This is one of the highest compliments a human
can give a bird.
Activities:
Humans are quite clever and curious. They need a wide vari-
ety of toys to keep them amused. Some birds have found that
their humans are quite content to sit for hours staring at a
television. I do not recommend this, as it makes for a bor-
ing companion mammal.
Foods:
Humans will eat just about anything. Be careful what you
feed them, though. Given a choice, a human will eat foods
high in fat, sugar and caffeine. While such things are fine
as a treat, a steady diet of chocolate-covered doughnuts and
coffee will significantly shorten its lifespan. Make sure
your human gets plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. In
short, anything you eat should be fine for your human.
--
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|| ________ __ __ ________ ________ _______ _____
@@ /______ //_/\ /\ /_/|/_______/|/_______//______ //___/ |
(\/) |__ __|| \ \/\ \/ || _____|/| _____||__ __|| | |
/ \ | | | \ \/ \/ / | |_____/| |_____/| | | | | | |
|| || | | | \ / | _____|/| _____|/ | | | | |/
\ / | | | \ /\ / | |_____/| |_____/| | | | \_/ )
|/\| |_|/ \/ \/ |_______|/|_______|/ |_|/ (_)/
/| |\ kokomo@degroof.raleigh.nc.us
Kokomo's gotten so much mail that she now asks that correspondence be sent to Steve DeGroof (degroof@nando.net).
Copyright © 1995-2009 Mark Bergman