From: email@example.com (Kokomo (the 'tiel)) Newsgroups: rec.pets.birds Subject: Human FAQ Date: Fri, 3 Mar 95 22:56:46 -0500 Message-ID: <+T+VvAPPBh107h@degroof.raleigh.nc.us> Organization: Nightshade Inc., Raleigh NC Lines: 56 Species-specific FAQ - Humans (homo sapiens) by Kokomo the 'teil firstname.lastname@example.org Humans are bright, talkative and often affectionate. These charm- ing giants can be trained to perform a wide range of tricks. Be warned, though: an improperly socialized human can be clumsy and even dangerous. When chosing a human, keep an eye out for pok- ing, grabbing and cage rattling. Fortunately, even the most anti- social human can be broken of these unpleasant behaviours. Also be wary of humans that shout the same phrase at you over and over, especially the phrases ``poliwahnakracker'' and ``hello''. These humans clearly have severe psychological problems and should be avoided. (Editor's note: Nobirdy I know can figure out what ``poliwah- nakracker'' means. Suggestions, anybirdy?) Costs: Humans cost nothing and will often pay for the privilege of being your pet. Vocalization: Humans tend to chatter away every waking hour, often making no sense whatsoever. However, with proper training, they can be taught to whistle, especially if you start them off at an early age. On the other hand, if you can learn to mimick their chatter back to them, they will become quite excited, sometimes to the point that they will offer you their food. This is one of the highest compliments a human can give a bird. Activities: Humans are quite clever and curious. They need a wide vari- ety of toys to keep them amused. Some birds have found that their humans are quite content to sit for hours staring at a television. I do not recommend this, as it makes for a bor- ing companion mammal. Foods: Humans will eat just about anything. Be careful what you feed them, though. Given a choice, a human will eat foods high in fat, sugar and caffeine. While such things are fine as a treat, a steady diet of chocolate-covered doughnuts and coffee will significantly shorten its lifespan. Make sure your human gets plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. In short, anything you eat should be fine for your human. -- | || ________ __ __ ________ ________ _______ _____ @@ /______ //_/\ /\ /_/|/_______/|/_______//______ //___/ | (\/) |__ __|| \ \/\ \/ || _____|/| _____||__ __|| | | / \ | | | \ \/ \/ / | |_____/| |_____/| | | | | | | || || | | | \ / | _____|/| _____|/ | | | | |/ \ / | | | \ /\ / | |_____/| |_____/| | | | \_/ ) |/\| |_|/ \/ \/ |_______|/|_______|/ |_|/ (_)/ /| |\ email@example.com
Kokomo's gotten so much mail that she now asks that correspondence be sent to Steve DeGroof (firstname.lastname@example.org).