-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The BorD files, episode 2: Another exciting true adventure, from a long time ago, a galaxy far far away. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. Have you ever been forced to sign one of the new corporate email policies? The ones that say "email is company property, and we reserve the right to be big brother and watch your every move." I think I am having a problem with this whole concept. Of course, I refused to sign the new policy, but this does me no good. Even the lawyers (what good is a lawyer in the family if they can't get you the free advice you want to hear?) say I haven't a leg to stand on. HR just laughs at me, puts on the form 'advised, declined to sign', and the damned thing is supposed to be used against me in a court of law. Joy. A coworker that we will call 'rat-boy' went into the email of another coworker. We will call the abused coworker Fred. Fred left himself logged into the network (stupid, granted, but that does NOT give someone ELSE the right to access the information in that account). rat-boy came along, saw that Fred was still logged in, and decided to play with his email. rat-boy found the juicy stuff, (jokes, jpgs, the usual suspects) printed it out, and decided to tell management about his findings. The problem? I was working that night. Nothing network related escapes my watchful eye. (I realize the ridiculousness of this situation. If it is ok for me to monitor the network, why isn't it ok for management to monitor me? Because they are management, Headupus Upassipus. I am the bofh. Enough said.) God have mercy on your soul if I catch you doing anything that you should not be doing. I noticed that Fred was printing some email, and I went down to say hi to Fred. To my surprise, rat-boy was there, picking up Fred's email. A scuffle and confrontation ensued, management was notified, and rat-boy was sent packing. (BorD used management to get rat-boy fired. phear me.) Not bad for a day's work. Except for one thing. rat-boy turned his ill-gotten gains (the stolen email) over to management. Now if you or I were in management, we would realize that this "Just Wasn't Right" (tm) and would either shred or throw out this 'evidence'. Sadly, you or I are ethical hardworking human beings, not in the HR / Management world. We do not understand their mystical ways. They decided that since this email had been brought to their attention, (regardless of the source) they needed to act on it. Act on it how? They needed to reprimand me and my fellow coworkers for sending emailed jokes to each other. For having a good time while working. For building some camaraderie and friendships. "That is company time, that is company property, that is company email." We sit in our cubicles, we toil for the man, and how does the man thank us? By slapping our hands. By saying, children, I must watch you at all times. I do not think that you are capable of being good little boys and girls for 40+ hours a week. You need a babysitter, and cannot be trusted. We do not like joy or laughter in these halls. The best part? When the management type says, "Now, I know that this might upset you, but we don't want to lose you over something like this." Something like what? Treating us like children? Why would I WANT to go work somewhere else? Some nirvana where we can send jokes to each other. Where we can laugh. Where we can enjoy ourselves. Oh wait. I forgot. There is a reason they call it 'work'. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-