These are all true Groucho Marx anecdotes garnered from "The Portable
Curmudgeon" compiled by Jon Winokur.

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Groucho Marx was having problems sexually (premature ejaculation).
Someone recommended a topical cream guaranteed to prolong erection.
When asked later whether it worked, Groucho replied, "I came rubbing
the stuff on."

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A guest on Groucho Marx's "You Bet Your Life" television show was a
woman who had given birth to twenty-two children.  "I love my husband,"
the woman explained sheepishly.

"I love my cigar too," Groucho said, "but I take it out once in a
while."

[Ed:  Reportedly Apocryphal]