When the forger's not engaged in his employment,
When the troller isn't baiting up his hooks,
Their capacity for innocent enjoyment
Is just as great as any non-net.kook's.
Our feelings we with difficulty smother
When Internet policing's to be done,
Ah, take one consideration with another
A net.cop's lot is not a happy one!
    When Internet policing's to be done,
    The net.cop's lot is not a happy one.

When the enterprising flamer's not a-flaming
Or crafting one of his sland'rous little posts,
He loves to surf the Web or do some gaming,
Or go browsing through some friendly gopher hosts.
When the spammer's finished sending out his blather,
He loves a-writing perl scripts on a Sun.
Ah, take one consideration with another,
A net.cop's lot is not a happy one!
    When Internet policing's to be done,
    The net.cop's lot is not a happy one.