From: njfalkne@teaching.cs.adelaide.edu.au (Nick Falkner)
Subject: More power to danish smoke detectors
Date: 20 Mar 92 11:56:18 GMT
Lines: 64


My friend Fil said "What kind of job would you like Nick?"

So I drank my cappucino and said,

"I want this really great consulting job where I live in this really BIG house
and have phones everywhere and there's money all over the floor.

I'm lying in bed and one of my phones ring - it takes me a minute to find it
because it's hidden under two other telephones and a big pile of money - and I
pick it up and it's JB!!!! JB is the head of the Absoulutely Enormous
Corporation of Australia and I am his main consulting dude and he's calling me
at home on my ultra-secret phone line because it's really important.

"Nick, my gif-viewer has died and WELLES-069.gif is waiting on my hard-drive!"

Well this is a major emergency so I get up really fast and run through the
shower in waterproof clothing 'cause I've got NO TIME and I leap down this huge
hole in the floor and land in my Big Black Car. My Big Black Car goes really
fast and has this tow-bar on the back so you can fit the trailer with the
16-piece orchestra for atmosphere. So I yell "PLAY GUYS" and they head into a
reggae cover of 'Hall of the Mountain King' as I drive off.

So I'm driving down Rundle Street to get into town and everybody's waving to me
and saying "Hi Nick" and this guy leans out from a cafe and says "Hey Nick -
where are you going in such a hurry?" and I say, quickly cause I'm going so
fast, "JB can't see WELLES!"

So I've got like 300 people following me from Rundle Street all screaming and
being really agitated - but not spilling their cappucinos - and it's really
great to be there.

So I get to JB's place and I park the car on one of those really irritating
little dogs - the really small ones that fat people have - and jump out so I can
get to the PowerElevator(TM) that goes to the 400th floor.

So there are 300 people, a 16-piece orchestra and me in this lift going up to
the top floor and we get there and I leap out and rush past the secretary who
says "hi Nick" because that's my name and I run through the doors and say

"Hey JB - I'm here."

and I run over to his terminal and like look at it - and it looks back
(Nietzche) and I notice that it's not turned on. So I turn it on and JB's really
really happy and all of the people clap and the band plays 'Waltzing Matilda'
(Ok - so I stole that from John Williamson) and I get a lot of money, a new car
and more cappucinos.


And then Fil said "DON'T have another cappucino Nick."

--
================================================================================
"This       Nick Falkner           EMail:  njfalkne@tigger.cs.adelaide.edu.au
 Picture    Part-time Tutor             Phone:  +61 8 332 6126
 Censored   Dept. of Computer Science   Thought : What is a glaive-guisarme?
 On Moral   University of Adelaide      Random Lust : Hockey Players
 Grounds"
================================================================================

        The boy sat on the burning deck, his legs were all in blisters,
                                  So he died.

================================================================================