Australianisms Revisited


Australianisms

New Zealand-isms

American-isms



Australians Say Americans Say
How good is that? Cool!
Half twelve Twelve thirty
A quarter to twelve Eleven forty-five
Tanty Temper tantrum
Have a coffee Have a cup of coffee
Chockies or choc Chocolate
Chockers Full (as in chock full)
Skull/skell To gulp or drink quickly
Sookie A mamma's boy
Bludger/blodger Someone who is being lazy
Chuck a sickie Call in sick when you aren't
skiving (rhymes with diving) See "chuck a sickie"
All over the show/all over the shop All over the place
A dog's breakfast A real mess
The fourth of the tenth October fourth
Koylie, noy, phoine, zoine, Tiny Kylie, no, phone, zone, Tony
Hard yakka Hard work
Maccas Macdonalds
Flaytwood Mock Fleetwood Mac
Shonky Unreliable



New Zealanders Say Americans Say
New Zulland New Zealand
Fush and chups Fish and chips
Sucksty sucks Sixty-six
Tea Dinner or supper
"Your frund in the frudge" "Your friend in the fridge"


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Australian Humor
The items below were sent to me in email and contained the usual disclaimer one gets in those emails that go round and round the internet, included for its own element of humor. We don't really believe it's true but they're funny nonetheless. Note: King's Cross is an area of Sydney that would be comparable to New York's Times Square: it's the flashier and seedier part of town.

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who are clearly typical Aussies!

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is.... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
(As a side note, the top five most poisonous snake species on Earth live in Australia.)

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Things you never hear in Sydney

Schmuck
Putz
"Not for nothing but …"
"What's up with that?"
fakachte
No big deal
Schtupp
Putz
Furtutzed
How you doin'?




This page is copyright 2005, Laura Giletti
Last revised: August 2005