Ralph Hockens

Home page of Ralph Hockens. Not much here: some links, some poetry, a joke.

Support the Software Freedom Law Center Charity Navigator: Your guide to intelligent giving

'Tis misfortune that leaves me

'Tis misfortune that leaves me
In such a metal hole as this
Whilst I wait for thee, O redeemer,
I shall ponder:
Who's been touchin' my stuff?
You toucha my stuff, I breaka yo' face!
I breaka, I breaka, I breaka yo' face!

Top Five Countdowns: Zorak's Poetry

Joe Heller

True story, Word of Honor:
Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer
now dead,
and I were at a party given by a billionaire
on Shelter Island.

I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel
to know that our host only yesterday
may have made more money
than your novel ‘Catch-22’
has earned in its entire history?”
And Joe said, “I've got something he can never have.”
And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”
And Joe said, “The knowledge that I've got enough.”
Not bad! Rest in peace!

Kurt Vonnegut, The New Yorker, May 16th, 2005

A butcher was opening his market…

A butcher was opening his market one morning and as he did a rabbit popped his head through the door.

The butcher was surprised when the rabbit inquired “Got any cabbage?”

The butcher said “This is a meat market—we sell meat, not vegetables.”

The rabbit hopped off.

The next day the butcher is opening the shop and sure enough the rabbit pops his head round and says “You got any cabbage?”

The butcher now irritated says “Listen you little rodent I told you yesterday we sell meat, we do not sell vegetables and the next time you come here I am going to grab you by the throat and nail those floppy ears to the floor.”

The rabbit disappeared hastily and nothing happened for a week.

Then one morning the rabbit popped his head around the corner and said “Got any nails?”

The butcher said “No.”

The rabbit said “Ok. Got any cabbage?”

Ten Things I Have Learned, Milton Glaser

Valid XHTML 1.0 Strict