Normally I wouldn't waste my time answering such a stupid, ignorant question, but I truly think that Phil is not completely beyond help, so I'll go through very slowly for him.        Okay. As even Phil knows, there are three kinds of twins: Siamese, fraternal, and identical (or, as the French say, ``libertie, fraternitie, egalitie''). Let's consider them one by one.        ``Fraternal'' means ``brotherly'' (it's derived from the Greek ``fraternity'', which in turn derives from the Latin phrase ``Frank + eternity,'' meaning ``the people Ted Frank doesn't ever like'') and therefore it should be obvious that no one can have a ``fraternal'' twin sister. So we can rule that one out right away.        ``Siamese'' is a more difficult word, until you know that the ``si'' part of it is a later addition. It refers to the Cy Young award that was won by ``Dizzy'' Chang and ``Daffy'' Eng, who between them won 35 games for St Louis in 1902 and helped change the regulations on substitutions. The ``mese'' part is more significant. It comes from Ed (``Ted'') Meese, who was half of the most famous sets of Siamese twins ever. In fact, this part of the word has become part of folklore; since these twins were believed to be witches, the phrase ``Your mese is clearly Satan'' became common.        To understand ``identical'' twins, you have to understand the biology of their birth. Identical twins arise from a single egg, and therefore spring fully grown from the forehead of their father -- hence the word: they're allowed to share their father's identity card. The example we all know of a set of identical twins is Terry Carroll and his identical twin sister, Terry Carroll. (It's a little more complicated than that, because actually Terry Chan is the third member of a set of identical triplets, but he had a different mother.) Identical twins, of course, are known for their wisdom.        Now if you think this through, it should be quite clear as to which category Will and his sister fit into. We can immediately eliminate identical twins (because of the `wisdom' clause) and we can immediately eliminate `fraternal' twins. The answer is obvious.        Will Wheeler's Siamese twin sister is Ted Frank. Ian ``I laugh at double acrostics'' York