Silent Night... Holy... Crap
All My Children IMHO column for
AllSoapScoops.com
Silent Night... Holy... Crap
By Seth Bookey
So, it's time for another Christmas miracle on All My Children and the only miracle I can see so far is bringing back Eden Riegel as Bianca (with a new Miranda in tow). But what the show really needs are some good, clearcut stories after a very messy year.
Bringing back Bianca is nice, but it also shows how the show has veered off course since Eden Riegel left. The show made the mistake of connecting so many characters to Bianca last year that her absence is palpable.
The first problem of the year has been the unpleasant Lavery family. Jeff Branson did a great job playing an abusive boyfriend, but then they took him on a psycho tangent and made him irredeemable. Then, months later, we find out that his sister Erin, who seeminingly was in hiding, literally found Jonathan in the rubble of the cave he blew up and saved him, somehow spiriting him out of the area without anyone seeing him? Then she kept him locked in a secret room like something out of the movie "Bad Ronald"? And finally, he had a tumor that made him evil?
The tragedy here is that now, Jonathan is being played as if he is ultra-retarded, worse off than Stuart Chandler. Not just retarded, but a retarded CHILD. This is a guy with a college education, who is suddenly worried about little kids having a visit to Santa ruined? Considering what a good job the show did with Gillian when she had aphasia (or was it apraxia?), and how she had to relearn how to speak, this is just sort of insulting. I don't know much about brain tumors, but it seems that him being in a life skills class with autistic Lily is bizarre. Her disorder is completely different from someone recovering from a brain tumor. It's insulting to... everyone. And now, General Hospital is imitating this storyline by giving their resident nutcase, Manny, a brain tumor also, and suddenly he's Mr. Nice Guy. Doesn't ABC realize that some of us watch their other shows? HELLO!
All My Santi: The whole Santos clan has been ruined. Let's start with the killing of Edmund. They took a character who was edgy but honorable and turned him into a monster. Then, they had Jonathan kill him (motive?) and Maria left town with her bitchy daughter Maddie, leaving horribly surly Sam to "learn about his family" in Pine Valley. Sam ran amok and scared ghirlfriend Lily and is now history, possibly to be recase. Anite has been a dull thud of a character. They dropped the Bobby Warner character for no good reason, then Anita's portrayer left for maternity leave just after Maria (Eva La Rue) left and before Julia (Sidney Penny) returned. I have missed an episode or two, but has Julia been reunited with her mother at all? And they replaced the woman who originated the Isabella role with a horrible harridan who appeared maybe three times to ask Maria embarassing questions about her sex life with wheelchair-bound Edmund. Yeeesh! Now that Aiden is clearly being paired with Erin Lavery, what use is there for poor Natalie Ceruglia (Anita)?
Let's Beat Up Kendall: You know, the story of Kendall trying to save poor Greenlee's mind was rather unique, to the point that even Erica thought they were lovers. Now, they clearly should have had some sort of psychiatric treatment after Ryan played dead for months, but since the one shrink in town didn't insta-cure Jonathan, psychiatrists have been banned from Pine Valley, apparently. So when it turned out that Kendall used her own egg to create Ryan's baby from his defrosting "sample" (no one at AMC is allowed to say sperm on the air, apparently), everyone beat up on Kendall except her mother. Ryan, who is still upset that the late Pope was made a saint before he was, lambasted her, and Greelee read her the riot act before she tore out of town. Kendall's been treated like crap by Ryan and her own mother thinks they are star-crossed lovers. Um, no, they are not. ANd since the show lost the opportunity to pair Zach with Maria, they should put him with Kendall (hey, Myrtle agrees with me).
All My Psychos: The show has been embroiled in a series of horrible incidents. Someone poisoned the soup at the Chandlers' Thanksgiving. Someone set fire to the bar where Babe works, but Greenlee and Kendall were trapped instead (in one of the dumbest scenes ever as the two women argued while the fire accelerated). So they are setting up Amanda as a potential split personality (edited-in scenes of Kate Collins ranting as Janet Dillon indicated that this might be so). Too bad, if they are trying a DID storyline--that's One Life to Live's territory, thank you.
Worst Secret Redux: Soap Opera Digest named the storyline of Jamie Martin secretly wanting to be a doctor "worst secret" and that led to maligning the late Aunt Phoebe Wallingford (the late Ruth Warrick) by having her withhold her fortune from Jamie in case he didn't dump Babe for the fortune. Even more bizarre, she made JR the executor of this part of her will. Sign. Ridiculous all around. Like Tad and Brooke didn't have enough money to send him to med school? Plus, JR, who has never gone to college, is able to call EVERY med school to blacklist his step-brother?
JR, JR, JR... Jacob Young does a good job of being a bad guy, but Jr has been way too superfluously evil as Adam's son, seeking endless revenge on Babe and Jamie. I am not sure how much I am going to get out of Babe and JR Round 2, even if it's her way of trying to get custody of her snn. Meanwhile, the comic marriage of Adam to Krystal is becoming a parody of itself.
I could go on and on about the show's other missteps, like Julia's return, the "Dragon" storyline, and Di is not Dixie, but why? These stories are not working. They traded on a beloved show history and have left us with nothing. And speaking of nothing... the winner of "I Wanna Be a Soap Star" is the recast of Del Henry, but his hair color is different and he's about 15 years too young. He left town with Kendall but I have seen never seen them together. I might have missed a day or two, but if they really wanted this recast to be a real character, they would have made him more than a confidante to Di and a shill for JR.
Well, as I write this, Kendall is walking toward a bright light. She and I are both a bit scared, but for vastly different reasons! I know they brought Bianca back (without Maggie, by the way), to play Cupid for Kendall. I hope it works, actually, since I hate Ryan (no offense to Cameron Matthison), and like her with Zach. It's enough that since Alicia Minshew's casting as Kendall that she's slept with a) Michael Cambias, b) Ethan, his nephew, c) JR, and d) Jonathan. Let's see her settle down a bit already.
At least Bianca knows how to handle Erica. Now that's a miracle!
Happy Holidays, everyone. Let's hope 2006 is a better year for the show.
By Seth Bookey
So, it's time for another Christmas miracle on All My Children and the only miracle I can see so far is bringing back Eden Riegel as Bianca (with a new Miranda in tow). But what the show really needs are some good, clearcut stories after a very messy year.
Bringing back Bianca is nice, but it also shows how the show has veered off course since Eden Riegel left. The show made the mistake of connecting so many characters to Bianca last year that her absence is palpable.
The first problem of the year has been the unpleasant Lavery family. Jeff Branson did a great job playing an abusive boyfriend, but then they took him on a psycho tangent and made him irredeemable. Then, months later, we find out that his sister Erin, who seeminingly was in hiding, literally found Jonathan in the rubble of the cave he blew up and saved him, somehow spiriting him out of the area without anyone seeing him? Then she kept him locked in a secret room like something out of the movie "Bad Ronald"? And finally, he had a tumor that made him evil?
The tragedy here is that now, Jonathan is being played as if he is ultra-retarded, worse off than Stuart Chandler. Not just retarded, but a retarded CHILD. This is a guy with a college education, who is suddenly worried about little kids having a visit to Santa ruined? Considering what a good job the show did with Gillian when she had aphasia (or was it apraxia?), and how she had to relearn how to speak, this is just sort of insulting. I don't know much about brain tumors, but it seems that him being in a life skills class with autistic Lily is bizarre. Her disorder is completely different from someone recovering from a brain tumor. It's insulting to... everyone. And now, General Hospital is imitating this storyline by giving their resident nutcase, Manny, a brain tumor also, and suddenly he's Mr. Nice Guy. Doesn't ABC realize that some of us watch their other shows? HELLO!
All My Santi: The whole Santos clan has been ruined. Let's start with the killing of Edmund. They took a character who was edgy but honorable and turned him into a monster. Then, they had Jonathan kill him (motive?) and Maria left town with her bitchy daughter Maddie, leaving horribly surly Sam to "learn about his family" in Pine Valley. Sam ran amok and scared ghirlfriend Lily and is now history, possibly to be recase. Anite has been a dull thud of a character. They dropped the Bobby Warner character for no good reason, then Anita's portrayer left for maternity leave just after Maria (Eva La Rue) left and before Julia (Sidney Penny) returned. I have missed an episode or two, but has Julia been reunited with her mother at all? And they replaced the woman who originated the Isabella role with a horrible harridan who appeared maybe three times to ask Maria embarassing questions about her sex life with wheelchair-bound Edmund. Yeeesh! Now that Aiden is clearly being paired with Erin Lavery, what use is there for poor Natalie Ceruglia (Anita)?
Let's Beat Up Kendall: You know, the story of Kendall trying to save poor Greenlee's mind was rather unique, to the point that even Erica thought they were lovers. Now, they clearly should have had some sort of psychiatric treatment after Ryan played dead for months, but since the one shrink in town didn't insta-cure Jonathan, psychiatrists have been banned from Pine Valley, apparently. So when it turned out that Kendall used her own egg to create Ryan's baby from his defrosting "sample" (no one at AMC is allowed to say sperm on the air, apparently), everyone beat up on Kendall except her mother. Ryan, who is still upset that the late Pope was made a saint before he was, lambasted her, and Greelee read her the riot act before she tore out of town. Kendall's been treated like crap by Ryan and her own mother thinks they are star-crossed lovers. Um, no, they are not. ANd since the show lost the opportunity to pair Zach with Maria, they should put him with Kendall (hey, Myrtle agrees with me).
All My Psychos: The show has been embroiled in a series of horrible incidents. Someone poisoned the soup at the Chandlers' Thanksgiving. Someone set fire to the bar where Babe works, but Greenlee and Kendall were trapped instead (in one of the dumbest scenes ever as the two women argued while the fire accelerated). So they are setting up Amanda as a potential split personality (edited-in scenes of Kate Collins ranting as Janet Dillon indicated that this might be so). Too bad, if they are trying a DID storyline--that's One Life to Live's territory, thank you.
Worst Secret Redux: Soap Opera Digest named the storyline of Jamie Martin secretly wanting to be a doctor "worst secret" and that led to maligning the late Aunt Phoebe Wallingford (the late Ruth Warrick) by having her withhold her fortune from Jamie in case he didn't dump Babe for the fortune. Even more bizarre, she made JR the executor of this part of her will. Sign. Ridiculous all around. Like Tad and Brooke didn't have enough money to send him to med school? Plus, JR, who has never gone to college, is able to call EVERY med school to blacklist his step-brother?
JR, JR, JR... Jacob Young does a good job of being a bad guy, but Jr has been way too superfluously evil as Adam's son, seeking endless revenge on Babe and Jamie. I am not sure how much I am going to get out of Babe and JR Round 2, even if it's her way of trying to get custody of her snn. Meanwhile, the comic marriage of Adam to Krystal is becoming a parody of itself.
I could go on and on about the show's other missteps, like Julia's return, the "Dragon" storyline, and Di is not Dixie, but why? These stories are not working. They traded on a beloved show history and have left us with nothing. And speaking of nothing... the winner of "I Wanna Be a Soap Star" is the recast of Del Henry, but his hair color is different and he's about 15 years too young. He left town with Kendall but I have seen never seen them together. I might have missed a day or two, but if they really wanted this recast to be a real character, they would have made him more than a confidante to Di and a shill for JR.
Well, as I write this, Kendall is walking toward a bright light. She and I are both a bit scared, but for vastly different reasons! I know they brought Bianca back (without Maggie, by the way), to play Cupid for Kendall. I hope it works, actually, since I hate Ryan (no offense to Cameron Matthison), and like her with Zach. It's enough that since Alicia Minshew's casting as Kendall that she's slept with a) Michael Cambias, b) Ethan, his nephew, c) JR, and d) Jonathan. Let's see her settle down a bit already.
At least Bianca knows how to handle Erica. Now that's a miracle!
Happy Holidays, everyone. Let's hope 2006 is a better year for the show.
Posted: Fri - December 23, 2005 at 01:35 AM
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