Making a Case for Marriage


Book round-up of recent books about same-sex marraige.


Making a Case for Marriage

By Seth J. Bookey
01 April 2005
Lambda Book Report
Volume 13; Issue 9/10; ISSN: 10489487

Making a Case for Marriage

2004 brought same-sex unions into the headlines, and onto the bookshelves.

It seemed like every day there was a new report from a new corner of the country. Following the decision in Massachusetts to give full marriage rights to gay and lesbian couples, suddenly local politicians followed the San Francisco mayor's lead and in other locations, like Asbury Park, N.J., people started showing up at city hall to ask for a marriage license.

Not surprisingly, the issue has translated to a ton of books as well, covering everything from people's personal opinions to legal analysis. And all during an election year. Unfortunately, even though an anti-marriage amendment didn't make it through Congress (yet), many states did enact their own "protection of marriage" by banning gay marriages via popular vote. And yet, the gay marriage question keeps popping up, most recently in New York City, where a judge likened the denial of same-gender marriage to the denial of interracial marriage, which was finally struck down in the 1960s.

Until recently, one of the most notable gay marriage book tides was Same-Sex Marriage Pro and Con: A Reader, edited by Andrew Sullivan (and recently reissued by Vintage Books), which came on the heels of the trials in Hawaii and the infamous DOMA legislation ratified by Congress and President Clinton.

Since then, numerous tides have come out, many in favor of gay marriage but also against. There's Same-Sex Marriage and the Constitution; Gay Marriage: Why It Is Good for Gays, Good for Straights, and Good for America; Civil Wars: A Battle for Gay Marriage; Same-Sex Marriage?: A Christian Ethical Analysis; and Why Marriage Matters: America, Equality, and Gay People's Right to Marry as just a few examples of what's out there. But there's also What's Wrong -with Same-Sex Marriage; Marriage on Trial: The Case Against Same-Sex Marriage and Parenting; and the most scare-mongering tide yet, Same Sex Marriage: Putting Every Household at Risk. I think the only title I didn't see while researching this article was Why Satan Adores Same-Sex Anti-Christ Unions.

Below are just six of the books on die pro side. It's not always clear for whom these books are intended, but with the many outrageous and titles out there, it's good that there's some balance. Of course, there are many queers who are not all that thrilled about marriage, and these books cover some of those sentiments as well, But as Andrew Sullivan pointed out in 1997 during a personal appearance in New York, "You can't be against gay marriage because it doesn't exist." Well, flash-forward to 2005 and one state does have it, another has civil unions (Vermont) and New Jersey enacted strong domestic partnership laws last year as well.

It's an important issue. Each state is in charge of its own marriage laws; straight people married legally in one state are recognized as married in all states, and internationally-even if the couple had to go out of their home state to legally marry (e.g., underage here is not underage over the border). But what happens if you're gay and married in Massachusetts, but move to Pennsylvania? It's clearly an issue whose interstate nuances are just beginning to become complex.

There are other good reasons for queers to read these books-to bone up on the facts and keep up with "the argument" and maybe even give some of these books to die more open but unconvinced straight friends we have out there. Considering the overwhelming anti-gay forces that abound, keeping informed means being "well armed" in this latest iteration of the culture wars.

I Do/I Don't: Queers on Marriage
Edited by Greg Wharton and Ian Philips
Suspect Thoughts Press
ISBN 0-9746388-7-0
PB, $16.95, 382pp.

Who better to comment on the prospect of marriage equality for gays and lesbians... than gays and lesbians? This collection of essays, treatises and poems runs the gamut from pro to con and many positions in between. There are scores of contributions, some of which have been published elsewhere.

Well-known and unknown queer writers appear in these pages, some of which include: Dorothy Allison, Keith Boykin, Michael Bronski, Margaret Cho, rabbi Steven Greenberg, Michael Luongo, Tim Miller, Sarah Schulman, Carmen Vasquez, and Judy Weider, and many others. The essays are brief, and alphabetically arranged, making it easy both to pick up and put down, and to find favorite authors.

Legalizing Gay Marriage
By Michael Mello
Temple University Press
ISBN 1-59213-079-8
PB, $22.95, 337 pp.

Michael Mello, a professor of law at Vermont Law School, looks at how the Baker decision in that New England state-which created civil unions for gay and lesbian couples-became a preview of "things to come" for a national debate on gay marriage. Last year, that debate culminated in legalization of gay marriage in Massachusetts; spontaneous, but illegal, gay marriages on the municipal level in San Francisco, New Paltz, N.Y., and other places; and the proposal of amending the United States Constitution to make same-sex marriage illegal.

Mello looks at die decision, its being upheld by the Vermont State Supreme Court, the backlash against gays and lesbians, and complaints about civil unions being a "separate but equal marriage substitute."

Mello chronicles the considerable, religious-toned objections to the decision and the various worries about "society disintegrating," as well as all the legal wrangling that led to Vermont being the first state to legalize same-sex civil unions. Mello contends that gays, being a "despised minority," are in need of the law's protection.

The M Word: Writers on Same-Sex Marriage
Edited by Kathy Pories
Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill
ISBN 1-56512-454-5
PB, $12.95, 191 pp.

This slim volume of personal essays about same-sex marriage includes some leading authors like David Leavitt, Stacey D'Erasmo, Alexander Chee, Jim Grimsley and Wendy McClure. The essays are current as of the Massachusetts decision and George W Bush's objections to it, but the authors reach back into their own experiences as well. Algonquin editor Pories explains, in her preface, how reading about same-sex marriage in the newspapers was somehow lacking, and she wanted "writers considering it thoughtfully, explaining to me the nuances."

Same-Sex Marriage: The Personal and the Political
By Kathleen A. Lahey and Kevin Alderson
Insomniac Press
ISBN 1-894663-63-2
PB, $16.95, 381 pp.

Personal interviews and legal history are used to investigate how gay marriage laws have been won in places like Ontario and Quebec, and ultimately Canada itself. The book's interviews with litigants wanting to marry use behind-the-scenes stories to round out the legal decisions that have come into being. These interviews not only give depth to the personal relationships, but also show how real gay people deal with other people's reactions to their marriages, and to the various myths and maxims leveled against them by society, such as "are gays trying to become straight?"

Kathleen Lahey is the lawyer who represented three couples in British Columbia pursuing marriage rights, and Kevin Alderson is an assistant professor of counseling psychology at the University of Calgary; he has counseled hundreds of gay men and lesbians.

Same-Sex Marriage in the United States: Focus on the Facts

By Sean Cahill
Lexington Books
ISBN 0-7391-0882-4
PB, $12.95, 159pp.

This volume by Cahill, director of the Policy Institute of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, takes a factual approach to an issue that polarized the nation last year. He distinguishes the differences between domestic partnerships, civil unions and civil marriage, and then shows statistical data that relates to both sides of the issue. One thing the numbers show is that the "rich gay playboy" is a myth-many gay men earn far less than their straight counterparts. The book's wide margins also give the author an opportunity to toss in some visual "sound bytes," such as "In 2004, approximately 20 same-sex surviving partners of people killed in 9/11 are still awaiting a decision from the federal fund." The volume also presents data in map form-some national, showing state-by-state anti-marriage and anti-parenting laws, and some even more specific, like one showing changing concentrations of samesex couples in Missouri, county by county. And the book includes profiles of two surviving partners who were denied the rights a legally married partner would have had without trouble.

Why Marriage?: The History Shaping Today's Debate Over Gay Equality
By George Chauncey
Basic Books
ISBN 0-465-00957-3
HB, $22.00, 200 pp.

George Chauncey, author of the award-winning Gay New York, turns his historical perspective and observation toward gay marriage during the time the issue made daily headlines, 2003-2004. Chauncey looks at the reasons for the current groundswell demanding gay marriage, as well as the history behind those against it. He chronicles changes in marriage itself, plus a boom in gay and lesbian parenting, and the discrimination facing these families.

In the chapter "Why Marriage Became a Goal," Chauncey looks at attitudes about gay marriage from the beginning of the movement, as well as particular cases, like that of Sharon Kowalski, whose hospitalization caused the involuntary separation of her and her partner at the hands of her parents-something that wouldn't have happened if they were legally married. As always, Chauncey's work is well researched and documented. More importantly, understanding the past more fully helps us understand the present as well.

Bookey reviews several books including Same-Sex Marriage Pro and Con: A Reader edited by Andrew Sullivan, Legalizing Gay Marriage by Michael Mello, and The M Word: Writers on Same-Sex Marriage edited by Kathy Pories.

Copyright Lambda Rising Apr/May 2005 | Seth Bookey is a freelance writer based in New York City.

Posted: Fri - April 1, 2005 at 12:36 AM        

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