David Leavitt's op-ed piece "The Hate Epidemic" (Oct. 18,
1998) was on target but wide of the mark.
His diagnoses are good, but he offers no advice as to what to do next.

For gay men, very often the shame of being caught with our pants down when
robberies and murders are committed keeps us from speaking out and seeking
help. Leavitt surmises that perhaps "the thrill of danger excites him." He
also credits naivete and asks how "could we instruct him [a Matthew
Shepard] in how to protect himself against hatred?"

Leavitt perpetuates the myth that gay men have to be victims. Centuries of
demonizing gay relationships and sexuality led to the normalization of
anonymous and immediate sexual encounters. To insinuate that gay men are
being lured by sex because they are uneducated has a ring of truth but is
a convenient denial of what has become one of the cornerstones of our
lives, our "birthright." Gay men do not need to have the reality of their
lives sanitized for straight acceptance. They have to demand equality from
every single somewhat sympathetic straight person available to them, and
if denied, ask why?

Gay men want to be heard, not saved. But to do so, they also have to learn
from others. They have to learn from lesbians and straight women, who have
debunked this myth with martial arts self-defense courses, and who have
empowered themselves with the knowledge of existing choices.

What keeps gay people disempowered are the power structures. Gay people
have yet to achieve full legal protections, in terms of hate crime
legislation and legalized marriage. Congress has stymied this, as have
many state and local governments. Gays also have the police to contend
with, who still entrap gay men and arrest them, using the "my word against
yours" tactics, and with the indifference of the police to deal with
crimes of all sorts against gay people.

A prime example: I too was "lured by sex" this summer, only to discover,
after a circuitous and complex deception, that I had been relieved of
about $40 without even realizing it. While I was unharmed completely, my
self-esteem was battered; I was played like a fiddle--because I am gay.
However, I felt it was important to report the incident to the police, who
might have had other reports from that address.

The subsequent Kafkaesque experience of trying to get the personnel at the
Midtown North Precinct to take down a report of the incident was
frustraing, but I persevered and did not leave until I had them take down 
a written report.

Insisting on being heard empowered me, but the structure in place to
protect and serve me did not want to do either.

It will not be truly safe for gay men and lesbians until they make a real
commitment to speak out and demand the same from their straight allies.
Matthew Shepard's murder is the is latest in a long legacy of American
homophobia. If his having been stripped of his inalienable right to life,
liberty, and the pursuit of happiness has upset you or prompted you to a
vigil, you must ask yourself what your next step toward combating
homophobia in public and private ways. America, can you hear us beating on
the door to your heart? Your silence will not protect you, and it is
killing us. You were upset this week, but what about the future?

--Seth J. Bookey