Reactions to my letter --------------- from Ellen on Long Island I am always saddened by descrimination in any form. Growing up in the 1960's & 1970's with the likes of Martin Luther King, JFK, Viet Nam, etc. it always amazes me when I read or hear about any form of descrimination. Unfortunately, there still exists an Archie Bunker mentality in this great country of ours. On the positive side, you have all us "hippie freaks" with children who are coming of age. The main lesson these children carry into the furture is to see people as people (period.) Not as a color, or a gender, or a race, etc. Your e-mail touched me. It reminded me that we are all here for a reason (that we all have purpose.) Keep the faith, be proud of who you are. Consider yourself hugged! ----------- from Rita in Florida How beautiful your letter was to read. It takes lots of courage to put out all your feelings and convictions as you did. I am proud we are cousins. ------------ from Ann in Maine... Carry on, bravely, dear new friend. Hate is a weed with long tap roots, and takes real effort to dislodge from any garden filled with preconceptions. Any ignorant, uncritical bias cuts us off from the possibilities of rich encounters ( and the growth of new relationships ). How limited and sterile a garden with only one variety of lily! I prefer a perennial bed with an eclectic flair...lots of different blooms, including the "weeds" that are often hardier the cultivated flowers, which blossom after other plants wilt in a drought or blacken with the first tinge of frost. I hope your Scarecrow piece will encourage the cultivation of richer, more bountiful gardens, rampant with exotic blossoms as well as standard varieties of daisies. Sneezeweed and Echinops! Wild asters and Tiger Lilies! A magnolia tree beyond the lily pond and a Japanese maple for a shady corner, small bulbs in spring and huge peonies too. Diversity offers a gardener a profusion of beauty during the growing season. Should we limit the bounty in our lives by a restricted choice of friendships? How foolish! ------------- from Manchester, England I dont really know what to say! I have been very moved by you and your writing. As a Gay man who is considered to be very out I have been reminded that there is more I can do. After reading your mail yesterday I was involved in a visit by a group of young people to the University. During their visit to the Students' Union a comment was heard by the President of the Students' Union, uttered by one of the young people, that was very homophobic. I do not know what was said because the President would not repeat it. During his address he raised the subject of this comment and revealed to the group that he, like many of the students who are studying at MMU, is a Gay. Manchester and the 3 Universities has a very large Gay population. The room went very quiet and then I stood up and said that there were many members of staff who were also gay, both males and females. Altogether 5 people stood up together with a lot of smiles. Now its not a big thing in the scheme if things but I hope that some awareness has been put to these young people. It may just make a difference. (The Dean of one of the Faculties asked if it had been planned and when he found out it had not said that it should be included in every visit. It probably did more for homosexual awareness than any school could do. Remember we still have Clause 28 to contend with! ) I am sure that your English family will be nothing but supportive of you. Have a hug from me. ----------- from Bayside, Queens First of all, thank you again for your letter about Michael Sheppard. I forwarded it on to half a dozen friends and family, all of whom know about me, and it has generated a lot of thoughts and conversation. I'm not quite ready to send it to those who don't know my situation but am several steps closer in my mind thanks to your words and inspiration. ------------------- from Silver Spring, MD Every year, the College Park campus has a 24-hour holocaust vigil. The message seemingly portrayed is "Never again". Unfortunately, the way I would hear some of my old college friends talk, it sometimes struck me as only a lip-service thing. They may not have realized who I really was. We gay people quite literally go through our own very real Holocaust--hiding who we really are. In a sense, my friends were unconsiously telling me that I was their friend only as long as they thought I was one of THEM. And I knew some of these people for quiet a long time. And all of them were very caring people. This is a strong parallel to the book "Dry Tears", which is a true story of a Holocaust survivor. I don't think the Holocaust vigils were insincere. After all, preparation for these is quite a lot of work. It's just that I don't think people are really remembering the true message of them, which is to be remembered all year round, and not just during Yom Hashoah. But what can we do to stop this? They say the Holocaust ended in 1945. That may be true from a historical perspective. But for many of us, the Holocaust is still going on. ------------ from Israel Sat Oct 17 03:03:18 1998 -0400 Sorry I've not written for a while,I've been a bit busy,and then to be honest after reading your last two emails, I had to think very hard about how to reply to you, I'm not very good with words..sorry. Regarding the dreadful murder of Mathew Shepperd,it was awful to read about, and my condolonces go out to his family and friends. There wasnt much news coverage about it over here, on the local news, the story was on the main news at night, but it wasn't headline news. I read more about it on the internet and yesterday I bought an English language newspaper and there was an article in it about the reactions to the murder. Seth,I know its a sad time and you are deeply moved by this awful even,and I am as well and I'm sure most level headed people of the world are. I've been talking to some friends about it, and the main reaction from has been..."thats America", please dont be offended by that remark...It was an indication that a lot of non Americans see this sort of "small town attitude" as the "real america",and realise that the "real america" is not in cities like NY LA etc but these small towns where the church puts the fear of God into people and all this family values crap is pushed down the population,and ..voila.. this is the result....preachers picketing funerals....well done eh? What ever happened to tolerance...you know for all its bad points and troubles, In Israel no religius groups would picket a funeral. I think society over here is more tolerant and open minded. Seth,please dont be offended by what I wrote about your country, its just a general opinion that a lot of people have, it always comes up in conversation when some tragedy occurs. -------- from Spokane I wanted to thank you for sending your "Matthew Shepard, Optimism, and Me" message to us. Larry and I are grateful that you were willing to share this with us. We did know that you were gay, as the Bookeys had told us, but hearing your story was a revelation. We in the straight world gaily go through our lives with little understanding of the massive problems that you encounter. People's behavior is just sickening!!! And you're right.....we ALL have to do our best to eradicate hate, and stop it in its tracks. ----------- from the Upper West Side I was deeply touched by your brave, sincere and passionate letter. The event that moved you to write, the murder of Matthew Shepard, is indeed tragic and infuriating. You are right to speak out and press the issue. I feel something needs to be done, to honor the memory and dignity of Matthew Shepard, and to discourage future hate crimes. While I doubt anything can be done to change the hearts of those hate, I think it is important to seek legislation and encourage education. Murder is certainly a crime, but intention and malice are legal concepts that play a role in defining hate crimes. While civil rights legislation has not eradicated racism but it has radically transformed race relations and the overall attitude toward race for the better, I think. Do you know of anything being done in New York for Matthew Shepard or for human rights on gay issues? Please let me know. --------------- from Long Island Seth, Wow! What can I say? But wow! Very powerful words. Very powerful emotions. I am serious when I say that I'm really touched by it. I do hope that they are all published so that others can read and react as I have. You really made me realize that the beliefs and things that I used to stand up for in college and that I, unfortunately, have neglected as the responsibilities of the "Real World" have distracted me, are still very important to me and worth taking the time to stand up for. The sections of your Web letter that mentioned certain people we know in common came as no surprise and really bothered me. I'm sure I've probably heard or seen some of these things you describe, but, again, the everyday distractions and fear of what my comments would bring to me, kept me from doing anything. As with my wife's co-worker, it really pisses me off to hear about that kind of crap taking place in the workplace. If anything, you should be treated with respect and judged on your abilities when you are at your place of employment. It was funny, when I read of you mentioning the student in Tiannenmen Square I nodded my head in agreement. For years now, whenever someone asks me to name my "hero" I have always told them of that person. I always felt like there was no better way to symbolize standing up for what you believe in. Bravery. I'd like to think if I was ever faced with that challenge that I'd be in front of the tank too. Thank you for sharing your words and feelings with me, Seth. There's not much anymore that will touch me and make me react. I guess I'm too numb to things anymore. Too caught up in "life" and my own problems. I hate being like that. Thanks for showing me that it's worth taking some time out to speak up and fight for something. ---------- from Chelsea I will do something, I promise! You 've inspired me--my uncle and his best friend--a good friend of mine also, are gay, and I am going to call them today and see how they are...and that's only the beginning! I'll keep you posted.