Bandage of Smiles

Sitting alone in a darkened room
Contemplating an end to the gloom
That has infected me
Since you went away...
Wounds will heal
And sometimes reveal
A road through the dark to the day.

There's no need to remember the pain,
Standing in the sun, I care not for the rain,
Let it fall on me
And I will pay no heed.
Wounds will heal
And sometimes reveal
The want I took for need.

The more I search, the more I find
The pain you gave me was only in my mind,
And if I jump and if I dance
I can keep my eyelids dry,
I laugh so that I don't cry.

And now - the nights are strange,
And my days have all been rearranged,
And if I had the time
I'd miss you worse.
Wounds will heal
And sometimes reveal
The blessings within the curse.

Where was I when love disappeared?
How can it turn out better than I feared?
Though I still can feel the lack
I will not beg to have you back;
If I can fill the hole in me
I'll be complete and finally free -
So I'll rebuild the place you filled
In the corners of my soul,
And maybe there's a diamond lurking
In this pile of coal,
So I will throw the lumps away
And somehow I will find a way
To laugh
So I don't have
To cry.


Basking in your love
My fears just fell before me and
I didn't have to learn to stand,
When the darkness threatened
To surround me, all I needed
Was to reach and take your hand,
Now the darkness lives within me,
Mingles with the light and casts
A shadow on the land
Of my heart
So I can see the broken part.

If I spend my days
Regretting all that I have done
And all the sorrow I have bought,
Waiting for someone
To stop the pain, and never learning
From the lesson that it taught,
I'll keep tearing at
The ancient scars of vanished love
And once again I will be caught
In the snare
Of needing someone else's care.

Somewhere down the road
I'll find a cure for all the madness
And a balm for all my grief,
To end once and for all
The yawning need for adoration
And no longer seek relief,
But until that day
When I can face it unafraid,
My face is covered, like a thief
At his trial,
With a bandage made of smiles.


Wounds will heal...
I keep telling myself
The pain's not real,
That it's only self-indulgence,
And I'd better face the fact
That I can't reach the end by going back,
So I grit my teeth and slap
Another bandage on the hole
And regain control...

Wounds will heal.


(c) 1995 Skyler Bode