And I remember
The feeling of carpet beneath my knees, in a world
Defined by floors,
And a stairway
Which I could not climb
To the home of the gods...
Daddy was an angry god, with the scripture of the rod
Teach - by example.
Mommy was the tender one, the quiet one until she burst,
Preaching lessons of denial, teaching hunger, teaching thirst
By example.
And I remember
Standing at the tracks,
Watching the train approaching.
With a thunder and a scream, and ten thousand tons
Of angry iron,
Waiting to crush me beneath its wheels.
I was saved because I ran,
And punished because I ran.
And I remember
Kneeling at the altar,
Waiting for God to take me.
With his body in my belly, and a psalm upon my lips,
And the pages of a book well-traveled by my fingertips,
I waited...
...and no one came.
Chase the light or face the fire,
And tell the young ones how much ire eternal
Awaits the one
Who stops to think...
Now I remember
Standing on this bridge for such a long while,
Gazing at the current down below.
Wondering, if any god is watching,
Would he even crack a smile
If I
Just
Let
go...
-scb 1998