Learn to Drink Moxie!

There's a spiffy player piano version of "Just Make it Moxie for Mine", 1904. Lyrics are printed on the roll -- it's expert-level karaoke. Check the PSA from 3:06: "Imbecility is rampant in the South!" because of the cocaine and caffeine in Coca-Cola. Original song by "Mitchell and Potter, featuring Little Ricky and the Cocaine Zombies".

                 

Moxie, the Official Soft Drink of the State of Maine

Lt. Col. Augustin Thompson (28th Maine Volunteer Infantry) fought in Florida and Louisiana (the surrender of Port Hudson cleared the Mississippi River). After leaving the Army, he went to Hahnemann Homeopathic College, and practiced medicine in Lowell, Massachusetts. He started Moxie as a patent medicine. As with many patent medicines, he added this newfangled carbonated water. He dubbed it "Beverage Moxie Nerve Food", invented an imaginary species of plant, completely fabricated a "Lieutenant Moxie", and made some pretty thundering claims. The product took off (usually figuratively). But he did have to explain that it was a beverage (as opposed to something you pour on your head or something, I suppose), and exhort people to "Learn to Drink Moxie". It may be why soda pop (soda, pop, whatever) used to be called "tonic" in New England.

Moxie was the first big nationwide soft drink brand. President Calvin Coolidge liked it. Boston Red Sox player Ted Williams shilled for it. The Moxie Horsemobile was a popular advertising sight.

"In 1904, Moxie hit it big with [the song] 'Just make it Moxie for Mine', and in 1921 they had a best seller with the 'Moxie One-Step Song' and then with the 'Moxie Fox Trot Song'."

"Moxie" even became a common word: "Force of character, determination, or nerve". I don't know of any other product name that became a common word with positive connotations (other than a generic term for the product, like "Aspirin").

But the company made some bad business decisions, and American tastes changed. Now its remaining popularity is pretty much in Maine, and it's not even trivial to find it there.

Ingredients

Moxie probably originally had sarsaparilla or sassafrass, but there were FDA bans, and now it has gentian root extract, the main ingredient in Angustora bitters. That's significant. (Maybe this is related to the old idea that a good medicine has to taste bad?)

The Taste

"Moxie's flavor is unique", says Wikipedia, and that's one of their most accurate statements. It's complex and not as sweet as modern colas. Reactions tend to be strongly bimodal:

• Hmm, not bad. I'd drink it.
• Did I do something bad to you?

The bimodalism is shown best in this: "Philip: It's different, but I didn't think it was too bitter. I'd definitely buy a case occasionally if they sold it around here. ... Matt: I like the bitterness. It's good. ... Jeff: Since I was a young man, I've tried to live my life the 'right' way, set my goals and life expectations on the straight and narrow path. Moxie was not the 'right' way." (http://www.gastronomica.org/moxie-a-flavor-for-the-few/)

"The initial taste of moxie is great! It has that root beer cola flavor you thought you would taste after smelling it." (http://www.thesodajerks.net/soda-reviews/2010/1/11/moxie.html)

"Like burnt root beer and rust. ... It hits the tongue way softer than most any soda you'll find today. It's a slow ramp up as the flavor hits you. When that happens, it's either a good or a bad thing. The flavor can't really be described as sweet, the notes from the sugar never really get there. It's all dominated by that burnt flavor, like a burnt marshmallow dipped in root beer, but you never really get past that outer layer to the marshmallow inside." (http://www.masslive.com/dining/2014/07/i_ate_it_so_you_dont_have_to_m.html)

"Whoa. WHOA. What the heck? Is that cough syrup? OK, here goes. The initial taste is quite sweet, vaguely cola-ish, but sweeter. Right behind that is a secondary sweet taste, with a strong chalky component, and a bit of mint. That part is odd--it reminds me vaguely of the tooth-polishing compound you get at the dentist, or quick-dissolve allergy medicine." (http://www.weirdsodareview.com/2009/05/moxie-original-elixir.html)

My own reaction was "store-brand cough syrup". Not Nyquil but the H.E.B. knockoff. (To be clear, I thought the H.E.B. version tasted vile.)

Given its start as a medicine, Jacob Roseland may win with the summary "A cream soda that ended in a doctor's office".

The Aftertaste

Reviewers love to review Moxie. Not because it's popular -- it's not -- not because it's great -- but because they can unlimber the snark cannons and boresight on the gentian root extract aftertaste. Some reactions:

"It tastes like you're hanging out in the alley between a sugar factory and an old scrapyard and a gust of wind blowing a bunch of dust in your face. There's still a dark caramel flavor, a little too dark, like the Moxie soda dwarves delved too greedily and too deep." (http://www.masslive.com/dining/2014/07/i_ate_it_so_you_dont_have_to_m.html)

"As it sits in the mouth, the bitter and sweet circle each other, warily, like two jackals wanting the same piece of carrion. Their eyes never leave each other, watchful for a sign of weakness, of hesitation. There's no room for timidity. And then a slight acidity rises from below, permeating the scene like fog, drifting between and around the combatants. The aftertaste lingers, but it doesn't undergo any big changes. Those jackals are still circling in the fog, a minute or two later." (http://www.weirdsodareview.com/2009/05/moxie-original-elixir.html)

"What was once good, would now be replaced with evil. The taste of pennies, dirt, and un-sweetened envelope glue now dance upon your tongue. ... It's like watching your favorite sports team do really well against someone they weren't supposed to beat, only in the second half to have your entire team break their legs." (http://www.thesodajerks.net/soda-reviews/2010/1/11/moxie.html)

"The Jägermeister of soft drinks" (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7759074) C.f.: "The obvious choice, with their shared medicinal flavors, is to add Jagermeister to Moxie, over ice. My problems with that, however, are that I am not in a dorm room, I am not actively engaged in a fistfight, and I am not a total lunatic, three traits that prevent me from drinking Jagermeister." (dead link: http://fromaway.com/cooking/moxie-cocktails-dark-n-stinky)

[Paraphrasing] "How did your sister-in-law know how 'old dead people' taste, to say that Moxie tastes like that?" (ibid)

"Original Recipe Moxie was much better - more old dead people taste and they used real cane sugar." (ibid)

Summary

Perhaps the best summary is:

"Overall, Moxie wasn't the biggest hit in my study group, but comparisons with battery acid and railroad ties may not be quite fair either; some of the group, after all, did enjoy it. My final assessment, therefore, is that Moxie is a soda, and, like other sodas, some people like the taste and some people don't. The cult of Moxie, however, isn't so much about taste as it is about history and place. In other words, drinking a soda isn't just about quenching your thirst and getting a caffeine fix. Just as much as an accent, what a person drinks is a badge of identity. For someone raised on it, sipping a Moxie is a symbolic act, a performance of one's 'Maineness'. It's the Louisianian sucking the head of a crawfish. The debate over the relative merits of Memphis, Texas, and Carolina barbecues. The Tennessean passing on an iced tea in a chain restaurant because it's not 'sweet tea'." (http://www.gastronomica.org/moxie-a-flavor-for-the-few/)

Drinking the Stuff

Several people made the suggestion that it is better drunk over ice.

Wikipedia used to have text saying that it works well as a mixer, like you'd use bitters. If you search for drinks, you'll find cocktail names like "Trailer Park" and "Mad Mailman". Hence the suggestions of Moxie and rum, or Moxie and gin, two to one. From friends' experience, Moxie + bourbon = bourbon and Moxie + Fireball = Fireball, at least in those quantities.

And consider this recipe from http://www.themaineblog.com/?p=154:

Moxie and Milk

• 6 oz Moxie
• 6 oz Whole milk

Pour Moxie into tall glass. Add milk. Stir.

Have you ever wanted a milk shake, but all you had lying around was cough syrup and milk? Trust me, I've been there. Now you can experience the joys of cough syrup milk shakes -- without the cough syrup. You will also spare yourself many of the unpredictable hallucinations.