Summary of Conflict Management 
          (C) 1989, 1986, 1993 Vasos-Peter John Panagiotopoulos II
             Marions Panyaught Consultancy of Samani Intl Enpses
           [Reproduce freely if in entirety. TLX (23) 6503536867]
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    POWER:Reward, coercive, expert, referent, legitimate (use or lose)
          Compete for resources, energy, influence
    Shared goals/values (mainstream) -- force/need cooperation to accopmlish
    Verbal indications of displeasure  ... jokes - indirect
    Set/ID/repeat goals/dealine/criteria/agenda - commitmt  - burdn for action
    Contin harrassment;Isolate/castig polarising militants;show won't take it
    Giving lower people a bad name in the eyes of higher managers
    Emph similarities & interpers forces contrib'g to confl;Anger=frustration
    Show listeng (nod,cup ear,limbs uncrossed,look at nose) but not nec agree
     Distance: 2 ft = personal space, 5 ft = casual, 12 ft = social
     Do not ignore cultural, "body language", dialect differences.
    Widely circulated memos to the one being influenced
      with courtesy copies to powerful others likely to agree with you
    Reduce unrealistic stereotypes of opponents' villainy & own victimisation
     Do not require justify feelings, don't express self-oriented need
     Displace unrealistic expectns to adapt to project maturity & power shifts
     Powerful will often deny legitimacy of changes reducing their power
    Prestige power;trustworthy info exchange & superordinate goals
    Fractionate issues to reduce conflict, merge to increase conflict
    Construct solutions that include both perspectives, encourage alternatives
    Praise truthfully,unexpectedly; Soften disagreeables; No one admits wrong.
    Don't complain - suggest solution instead. Unite(agree) vs vote(divide)
    Bargain: Prepare, argue, signal, propose, package, bargain, close, agree.
    Arbit: Calm, data, common, listen, claim, rebut, flex, issues, summarise.
    Problemsolve, but bargain:Demand max+,plan throwaways,predecide max give
     1 leader, 1 pers ea issue, 1 to follow opp strategies/behav/tchnq
    Their hidden agendas? Need to show they worked hard for expected outcome?
    Passions rule all, cause divulged secrets & changed plans.
    Offer to conditionally enhance their personal freedom/autonomy/
      discretion/task-variety/profsnl-reputn/status/acceptance
     Neutralise/coopt opponent by offer compensate losses if agree 
    Conceal secrecy as well as the secret, but appear to reciprocate gossip.
    Intimidation: nullification (it's nothing),isolation,defamation,expulsion
    Hear much,say less. Deceit makes grudges. Blow must quietly follow threat.
    Accuse actions not people. Never leave enemy w/nothing to lose
     Say final authority not yours then procrastinate till THEIR deadline
    Info manipulative persuasion; believed only if consistent (poker)
    He who writes minutes (summarises) gets his way. 
    Tell people about each other's motivations, life/career goals
    Change forces:Org goals,resources,tek,social(eg lunch,e-mail),org design
    Tell'm which of their actions contrib to plumbing;sep iss from emot
    Complex interdep causes ambiguity which causes conflict/incongruity
    Force sniper admit to sniping. Show exploders you're serious and fed up.
     Ask complainers if they want an end. Don't talk when clamups quiet.
     Interpret everything from superagreeables.  Help egotist save face.
     Show negativists you want soln even w/o them. Find & resolve hesitations
    Tough battlers should be sedately,politely,persistently picked apart
    [LLCummings]Win-Lose battler  Friendly helper   Problem solver
     Battler   Stalemate 80%     Battler wins 90%  Battler wins 50%
     Helper          X           Stalemate 80%     Problem solver wins
     Solver          X                X            Quick agreement
    [Dedicated in memory of Prof. Margaret K. Chandler,  in whose 1983
    course this summary started,  and without whom Columbia would have
    been just another business school. I sorely miss her kind wisdom.]