Who Are These Guys?
Posted April 30, 2006
Several years ago, someone started mowing my lawn. I have no idea who he
is or where he came from, but he showed up one day, mowed the lawn and
left. A couple weeks later he did it again. Eventually one day he knocked
on my door and asked for a reasonable amount of money, which I gave him.
Ever since, he's mowed my lawn faithfully every summer. Occasionally,
at apparently random times, he knocks on my door and asks for apparently
random amounts of money. The amount is never the same the same as before,
but it usually seems reasonable and I always give it to him.
Last week, a different guy showed up and worked all day in my yard, weeding,
clearing brush, cutting down dead trees, digging up the maples that have
gotten into everything. I have 3/4 of an acre, parts of it heavily wooded,
and most of it untended for most of twenty years now, so there's plenty to
do. The next day he was at it again, and likewise the next day. He's
got tarps all over the yard, where he piles up cuttings and occasionally
hauls them out front. He's now done at least five full days of work.
In the process, he's cut down a tremendous amount of stuff I'd never have
let him touch if he'd asked, but it looks terrific. I'm glad he never
asked.
I have no idea where this guy came from, but I've been assuming he works
for the mower-guy.
Today, when I left the house in the morning, he was out there, hard at work
and (as always) ignoring my presence. I finally decided to say hello and
tell him the lawn looks great. He said, "Yeah. I bet whoever mows your lawn
is gonna appreciate it too." Then he turned away and went back to work.
Who are these guys?
That Lawn Guy
Posted May 12, 2006
As you may recall, a stranger recently showed up at my house
and spent several full days doing backbreaking lawnwork,
digging up dead trees, weeding beds that have grown wild for
decades, etc etc. I had--and have--no idea who he is.
Today I received in the mail a note, with a bill enclosed. The
note says "I am enclosing a bill for yard work. Please call
me at this number: xxx-xxxx." The bill is for $100.
Mystery (somewhat) solved!!
Posted June 2, 2006
Here and here I wrote about the mysterious stranger who
appeared in my yard, did several days of major league yardwork,
and disappeared, eventually sending me a bill for $100.
Today I spoke to the guy who cuts my lawn (who, incidentally, also showed up
unbidden several years ago and has been cutting my lawn ever since).
According to him, the mysterious stranger is not one mysterious stranger but
two. They are brothers, they are in their forties, they live with their
mother, and they are obsessed with yardwork, which they do all over the
neighborhood for free. He thinks they work 80 hours a week and have no
hobbies.
Apparently they showed up at my house one day while my lawn mower guy was here
and plunged in. He told them they should bill me. They told *him* to go ahead
and bill me for their work, and keep whatever I gave him. He refused to do
this and somehow (I'm not entirely clear on the transition here) ended up over
at their house, where he and their mother badgered them into billing me. Hence
my bill for $100.
He says that they do all the yardwork for everyone within two blocks of their
own home and never ask for a dime, and lately they've been branching out. He
suggested that I call them and alert them whenever anything needs doing.
The Crazy Lawn Guy: The Saga Continues
Posted June 19, 2006
My crazy lawn guy has returned. He's out there right now, weeding like
a demon. He was just getting started as I returned from a walk. He
tried to avoid acknowledging me, but I went over and thanked him. He
smiled and pointed out all the other jobs he's planning to do for me.
I said "That's great. Do send me a bill!". His smile faded, he looked
very dejected, he looked down at the ground, and, like a
chastened child, he said "okay".
Edit: I wonder if I should ask if he does refrigerators.
This Is Getting Weird
Posted June 26, 2006
Attentive readers of this journal will recall that a mysterious stranger
has been tending my lawn and gardens, weeding, chopping, trimming, etc
etc. After some investigation it was determined that he lives in my
neighborhood and (along with his brother) works more than fulltime
doing other peoples' yardwork without ever asking for pay. He was
at one point browbeaten into billing me for $100, which I paid with
a 50% tip. When I caught him at work again last week and told him to
bill me again, he looked very dejected, stared at the ground and said
(in his best chastised-child voice) "Okay".
The next night he was out there after dark sweeping up the mulberries
which fill my driveway and pathways this time of year.
Today I came home from work and saw new enormous piles of clippings,
branches and weeds out by the curb. He'd obviously been here again.
Also my trash can was full.
I looked in it.
The trash can was full of boxes of papers that had been in my garage.
I checked the garage. It had been cleaned and organized. There was
a garden hose I'd never seen before. And of course, the boxes of
papers were missing.
I can see how these boxes might have looked like trash. They were
in fact the various school papers that had been saved from my
daughter's elementary school days. I retrieved them from the trash
can.
Then I walked around the house. I have one large flower bed that I'd
planted completely with artificial flowers, which is a trick I picked
up from an evil ex-girlfriend. Everyone else hated it but I thought it
looked cool.
All the artificial flowers were gone. So were all the living things
(mostly weeds but not all) that had grown up among the artificial
flowers. So was half the soil.
Then I noticed that the trellis was gone also. This trellis was put
up years ago for ivy to grow on. The ivy is long gone and the trellis
serves no purpose, plus it's weatherbeaten and ugly. I'm glad to see
it gone. But still.
I have no idea where this guy lives or how to contact him. Apparently
the guy who mows my lawn knows, but I have no idea how to contact *him*
either.
I'd like to leave a note saying DONT THROW ANYTHING AWAY, but where do
I leave the note? Maybe booby traps would be more effective.
My garage door does not lock. But I'm sure going to make sure the
doors to the house are locked tomorrow.
Return of the Crazy Lawn Guy
Posted June 8, 2008
Faithful readers will recall the saga of the crazy lawn guy who shows up
unbidden and does vast amounts of yard maintenance.
Over the winter, he was here several times and always seemed to be
working hard, though I was never sure exactly what he was doing---
except that my sidewalk and the area around my garage were always
shoveled.
Since the summer began, he's been more active than ever, weeding,
raking things out, cutting down dead things, and even mulching (with
mulch that he provided). Just yesterday, my mailman commented that
the grounds were looking great for the first time in years. I
said, "well, I found a guy who works cheap".
Today, for the first time in two years, I received a bill in the mail.
The bill is itemized.
Winter work: $24
Summer work (including cost of mulch): $30
Total: $54 .
Crazy Lawn Guy Update
Posted December 20, 2008
Faithful followers of this saga will recall that my crazy lawn guy, after
working basically for free for many years, finally sent me a bill this past June.
The bill appeared to cover one year of work, including shoveling all winter, mulching,
weeding and landscaping all summer. It was itemized:
Winter work: $24
Summer work (including cost of mulch): $30
This I paid, with a substantial tip.
In the autumn, my black walnut trees dropped their walnuts all over the yard, as they
always do. Shortly thereafter the walnuts disappeared, and shortly after that I got a bill
in the mail:
Picking up walnuts: $75
I'm not sure I like where this is going. (I did pay the bill, though. Even though I
kind of *like* having the walnuts all over my lawn.)
Today we are buried under deep deep snow. I shoveled for a while this morning (with good
help from naiad) but there's a long way to go. I just looked out my window and
noticed that the Crazy Lawn Guy is hard at work.
Should I ask him what his rates are this year?
Crazy Lawn Guy Update
Posted April 23, 2009
My crazy lawn guy has billed me again.
To recap the billing history:
The first bill, in May 2006, covered several weeks of intense manual labor. The bill
was for $100.
The second bill came two years later, in June 2008. It covered two winters' worth of
shoveling and two summers' work of gardening, including mulching with mulch that he supplied.
This bill was itemized as "Winter work: $24; summer work $30; total: $54".
The third bill came six months later, in December, 2008, after my black walnut trees had
done their annual shedding. "Picking up walnuts: $75".
The fourth bill has just arrived, roughly four months later. It reads "Shoveled three
times in December 2008, $54".
He did continue to shovel through January, February and March, but these are not
mentioned on the bill.