Internet Email Support

(Morten responds to questions from David)

How do you define active?

Active is a person who has posted to the list one time or more in the past 3 months.

Is it by recent postings?

See above.

What is the time frame?

See above.

Is it like virginity, in that once you're active, you're never inactive again?

Unfortunately, no. Due to the sheer amount of people who would then have been active posters we have found the need to set a time frame of 3 months. Of course, you can once be "A Virgin Poster", meaning you post for the first time, and ever since then you're declared "A Veteran Poster".

Can I request 'inactive status'?

Yes you can, but permission is not granted unless you have not posted once over a period of 12 months.

If I only post once per year, is that active?

No. You are active during the 3 months that pass after you post, and from then on to the 12 month period is passed you are referred to as "previously active". After that you're declared "Presumed Dead", meaning we will hold a Virtual Funeral(tm) mourning the loss of a beloved poster.

Do I have to begin threads to become active, or can I just respond?

We are happy to tell you that you only need to respond to a message to become active, no new threads are needed. This was done to make sure people did not start a million new threads to again appear on the "Active Poster" list which is published in Time Magazine each issue.

If I only begin threads and never respond to any, am I still active?

Yes, new posts will also flag you as an "Active Poster". But, keep in mind that starting too many new threads will most likely make you appear on the "These people start a large number of new threads, probably because they haven't noticed the new rule which says you don't have to start new threads to get on the 'Active Poster List' List".

What if no one responds to any of my threads, but I keep posting... am I really participating?

Yes, we love to hear people talk to themselves in the bathroom mirror, so please continue posting.

When is the next full moon?

The next time you run out in the forest in the middle of the night, grow lots of hair and start howling at it.

How many extraterrestrial bodies strike the earth per year?

Too few. The earth's overpopulated, so we should get a few more large ones hitting densely populated areas every year too keep the growth down.

Who came up with the spring?

The guy who figured out there should be a name for the period in between Winter & Summer.

How long until the Slinky came out after the spring was invented?

That depends on when you think the earth was created.

Why is James Burke so smart, and what did people think of Babylon 5: Thirdspace?

We here at the Internet E-mail Support Staff have no time to watch B5. James Burke is probably so smart 'cause his mother went to a sperm clinic to find a guy with high IQ.

Thank you for using Internet E-mail Support, if there is anything more questions you need help with, feel free to ask.

(if you actually took this seriously you should go see a doctor :)

© copyright, 1998, Morten Wang and David Veatch
Confirm html 3.2 validation.

Best of Socks | Gallery | FAQ | Subscribe