Glamour is constructed, elegance is acquired, and charm is innate. For that reason, I think of the state of being elegant as having a kind of democratic virtue, open to all. Most of being elegant is knowing when to say “no,” and how (quickly, neutrally and with as little detail as possible, and more often than not), and cultivating empathy and a set of behaviors that spring forth from that compassionate heart. Civility, it is said, comes from the place where our elbows rub together. Manners are just the common practice.

Lauren Cerand, “On Elegance”