The problem is that men can be hurt. Men can be rejected. More, men have no right to what they are raised to consider simple sustenance. In effect they must live as some approximation of what they imagine the weaker half to be. Women must live with sexual vulnerability, with the threat of rape. This makes a kind of sense when the whole society says you are weak. But how do you live with┬ávulnerability when your identity is rooted in impossible strength? Being raped and being refused are not the same thing. But the tyrant’s gaze must be absolute, or it must not be at all.

Ta-Nehisi Coates, “Raymond Chandler’s Private Dick”