Never mind that bud
What'll it cost for you to
Make the whimsy stop?


Series 7: The Contenders (Daniel Minahan)
Grade: C

Guess what Minahan?
A simulacrum of crap
Smells just as noxious


Southern Comfort (Kate Davis)
Grade: B

Empathize one must
But self-congratulation
Pervades every "frame"


Murderous Maids (Jean-Pierre Denis)
Grade: B

Sylvie, my Sylvie
Ecrit-moi: dangelo
@panix.com


Bartleby (Jonathan Parker)
Grade: C-

Thump thump thump, or if
Melville's coffin's metallic
Then clang clang clang clang


La faute à Voltaire (Abdellatif Kechiche)
Grade: B+

Reckless urgency
Offhand authenticity
And Elodie too


Peppermint Candy (Lee Chang-dong)
Grade: C+

Masterpiece certain
A by trumped got gimmick his
But fault Lee's not it's


The Dish (Rob Sitch)
Grade: C

So unemphatic
You'd think they'd given it an
Amniotic rinse


When Brendan Met Trudy (Kieron J. Walsh)
Grade: D+

When petrol met spark
When Challenger met water
When Hitler met France


The Center of the World (Wayne Wang)
Grade: C-

Rule one: No kissing
Rule two: Intercourse ix-nay
Rule three: Be vapid


Faat Kiné (Ousmane Sembene)
Grade: C

African sisters
Also do it for themselves
It's just as tiresome


The Brothers (Gary Hardwick)
Grade: C

"Sex and the City"
Except these four are black dudes
And I paid ten bucks


Swordfish (Dominic Sena)
Grade: C-

Never realized
That computer programming
Is so damn funky!


Lumumba (Raoul Peck)
Grade: C+

And then this happened
Subsequently that happened
Lather. Rinse. Repeat


The Score (Frank Oz)
Grade: B

Norton, De Niro
"When the pigs eat my brother"
Good enough for me


Adanggaman (Roger Gnoan M'Bala)
Grade: B-

African movies
Why must they always be so
Goddamn virtuous?