Welcome to Lady Secretary Temporary Services Good morning, Jacob D. Stern It is 5 days since your last assignment. You recently completed the assignment Financial Assistant at Sony Foods USA with a rating of 4.39. Your assignment was not renewed because you lost the Kramer deal. Your overall rating is 6.21 You are currently registered for the position Financial Assistant in the area Lower Manhattan Press <enter> to see the assignments available for Tuesday, September 27, 2003 There are no availabilities for the position Financial Assistant in the area Lower Manhattan for your current Overall Rating Press <enter> to continue. Options Menu 1. Enlarge Work Area 2. Enlarge Position Selection 3. Quit Enter (1-3): 2 You are now registered for the position Financial Staff - General in the area Lower Manhattan Press <enter> to see the assignments available for Tuesday, September 27, 2003 Position Company Pay 1. Data Entry Merrill Lynch Lehman $7.00/hr 2. Data Entry Sony Foods USA $7.00/hr 3. Data Entry Nissan Chrysler USA $7.00/hr 4. VP-Acquisitions Merrill Lynch Lehman $340,000/yr 5. Word Processor Merrill Lynch Lehman $7.00/hr 6. Word Processor Sony Fashions USA $7.00/hr 7. Word Processor Nissan Chrysler USA $7.00/hr 8. Quit Enter (1-8): 4 You have selected the assignment VP-Acquisitions at Merrill Lynch Lehman Address: 34 Wall Street, Suite 16505 Contact: James M. Lehman III Report Time: 9:00 AM, Wednesday September 28, 2003 Notes: Due to the urgent nature of this availability, we have opened this assignment to all employees with Overall Ratings of 6.20 or higher. However, as for all such availibilities, we require a grade of 7.50 or higher on the area test. Our records show a grade of Q!x& for the Executive Area Test for Jacob D. Stern Your grade is not satisfactory/you have not taken the test. To retake/take the test, report to the offices of Lady Secretary Temporary Services. You must take the test at least 12 hours before the Report Time. The Executive Area Test focuses on the following skills: Decision-Making, Loyalty, Drive, Golf, NBA/NFL Statistics Would you like to make an appointment to take the test? (Y/N): y Welcome to International Temporary Services (Formerly Lady Secretary Temporary Services) Good morning, Jacob D. Stern It is 3 days since your last assignment. You recently completed the assignment VP-Acquisitions at Merrill Lynch Lehman with a rating of 3.62. Your assignment was not renewed because you embarassed Mr. Lehman. Your overall rating is 5.91 You are currently registered for the position Financial Staff- General in the area Lower Manhattan Press <enter> to see the assignments available for Thursday, January 3, 2004 There are no availabilities for the position Financial Staff- General in the area Lower Manhattan for your current Overall Rating Press <enter> to continue. Options Menu 1. Enlarge Work Area 2. Enlarge Position Selection 3. Quit Enter (1-3): 1 You are currently registered for the position Financial Staff- General in the area Manhattan Press <enter> to see the assignments available for Thursday, January 3, 2004 There are no availabilities for the position Financial Staff- General in the area Manhattan for your current Overall Rating Press <enter> to continue. Options Menu 1. Enlarge Work Area 2. Enlarge Position Selection 3. Quit Enter (1-3): 1 You are now registered for the position Staff - General in the area Manhattan Press <enter> to see the assignments available for Thursday, January 3, 2004 Position Company Pay 1. Data Entry Time-MTV $6.00/hr 2. Data Entry Sony Foods USA $6.00/hr 3. Data Entry Hyundai Ford USA $6.00/hr 4. Professor-French AT&T-Columbia University $11.00/hr 5. Security Guard Anheuser-Kellogg $6.00/hr 6. Security Guard Allied High Command $6.00/hr 7. Security Guard Revolutionary Front $6.00/hr 8. Quit Enter (1-8): 4 You have selected the assignment Professor-French at AT&T- Columbia University Address: 2950 Broadway Contact: Rudolf Giuliani Report Time: 9:00 AM, Monday January 10, 2004 Notes: Due to the urgent nature of this availability, we have opened this assignment to all employees with overall ratings of 5.90 or higher. However, as for all such availibilities, we require a grade of 7.50 or higher on the area test. Our records show a grade of B!x& for the Academic Area Test for Jacob D. Stern Your grade is not satisfactory/you have not taken the test. To retake/take the test, report to the offices of International Temporary Services. You must take the test at least 12 hours before the Report Time. The Academic Area Test focuses on the following skills: Reading, Loyalty, Drive, Food, Backbiting, Salary Statistics Because of previous high scores, you will be exempt from the Backbiting section of the test. Would you like to make an appointment to take the test? (Y/N): y Welcome to Revolutionary Temporary Services (Formerly International Temporary Services) Good morning, Jacob D. Stern It is 30 days since your last assignment. You recently completed the assignment Professor-French at AT&T- Columbia Univrsity with a rating of 3.02. Your assignment was not renewed because you did not publish. Your overall rating is 4.88 You are currently registered for the position Staff-General in the area Manhattan Press <enter> to see the assignments available for Monday, July 13, 2004 There are no availabilities for the position Staff-General in the area Manhattan for your current Overall Rating Press <enter> to continue. Options Menu 1. Enlarge Work Area 2. Enlarge Position Selection 3. Quit Enter (1-3): 1 You are now registered for the position Staff - General in the area North America/Caribbean Press <enter> to see the assignments available for Monday, July 13, 2004 Position Company Pay 1. Assembler Mercedes Haiti $5.00/hr 2. Assembler Personal Tractors USA $5.00/hr 3. Assembler Wang-IBM Canada $5.00/hr 4. Military Dictator CIA-Guatemala $230,000/yr 5. Soldier Limbaugh Republican Army $5.00/hr 6. Soldier Prudential Securities $5.00/hr 7. Soldier Revolutionary Front $5.00/hr 8. Quit Enter (1-8): 4 You have selected the assignment Military Dictator at CIA- Guatemala Address: Presidential Palace, Guatemala City Contact: Kevin Costner Report Time: 9:00 AM, Thursday July 6, 2004 Notes: Due to the urgent nature of this availability, we have opened this assignment to all employees with overall ratings of 4.80 or higher. However, as for all such availibilities, we require a grade of 7.50 or higher on the area test. Our records show a grade of B?x& for the Political Area Test for Jacob D. Stern Your grade is not satisfactory/you have not taken the test. To retake/take the test, report to the offices of Revolutionary Temporary Services. You must take the test at least 12 hours before the Report Time. The Political Area Test focuses on the following skills: Economics, Loyalty, Drive, Golf, Population Statistics Would you like to make an appointment to take the test? (Y/N): y Welcome to Sony Temporary Services (Formerly Revolutionary Temporary Services) Good morning, Jacob D. Stern It is 120 days since your last assignment. You recently completed the assignment Military Dictator at CIA- Guatemala with a rating of 1.52. Your assignment was not renewed because you instituted agrarian reforms. Your overall rating is 2.31 You are currently registered for the position Staff-General in the area North America/Caribbean Press <enter> to see the assignments available for Friday, May 9, 2008 Position Company Pay 1. Drug dealer Eli Lilly/El Rukn Commission 2. Quit Enter (1-8): 1 You have selected the assignment Drug Dealer at Eli Lilly/El Rukn Address: 43rd and Prairie, Chicago IL Contact: Andre Nafarjian Report Time: 9:00 PM, Friday May 9, 2008 Notes: This is a high risk assignment. Sony Temporary Services takes no responsibility for any risks associated with this work. It is imperative that you waive claims for damages from this assignment. Do you waive any claims against Sony Temporary Services? (Y/N): Y Welcome to Karmic Life Services Greetings, my son It is 1 day since your last assignment. You recently completed the assignment Jacob D. Stern at Earth with a rating of 3.06. Your life was not renewed because you did not grow in accordance with your inner directives. Your overall rating is 4.11 You are currently registered for the position Animal in the area Earth Press <enter> to see the lives available for Sunday, May 11, 2008 Life Place Species 1. Xdshshfroak Serengeti Savannah Wildebeest 2. Quit Enter (1-8): 1 You have selected the assignment Xdshshfroak at Serengeti Savannah Address: Republic of South Africa Contact: Jjjquorttt Report Time: 3:00 AM, Monday May 12, 2008 Notes: Try a little placidity. Watch out for those lionesses.