Tag: Funny

Tweet of the Day

Oh look, FBI agents are still reading Dr. King’s mail. https://t.co/nN0WumWKkJ

— bertolt blecht (@benschwartzy) January 15, 2018

On MLK day, I like to read his Letter From Birmingham Jail, which still resonates: “Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away… and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation…”

— James Comey (@Comey) January 15, 2018


Headline of the Day

Hopeful Martians Emerge From 8-Month Experiment To Find Earth Horrific As Ever


This is an actual news story.

The headline is opinion, but I do understand the sentiment:

Before Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and other space enthusiasts can ship humans to Mars as easily as an Amazon Prime delivery, we need to figure out they’ll fare on a foreign planet. Luckily, NASA and the University of Hawaii have been all over this, funding several successful iterations of an experiment called Hawaii Space Exploration Analog and Simulation (HI-SEAS), in which a crew of “astronauts” live in Mars-like conditions in a dome on a Hawaiian volcano. On Sunday, the fifth Hi-SEAS endeavor ended, meaning a crew of six “astronauts” have left the comfort of a literal bubble to greet the fresh hell that is Earth right now.

I do understand the urge to stay in a cave.  I have on occasion had an urge to go live in a cave.

Boaty McBoatface Lives

I still think that that the whole boat should have been so named, but I am still heartened by the maiden voyage of the remotely operated submersible:

A yellow submarine dubbed Boaty McBoatface has obtained “unprecedented data” from its first voyage exploring one of the deepest and coldest ocean regions on Earth, scientists have said.

The robotic submersible was given the name originally chosen for a new polar research ship by irreverent contestants in a public competition. Embarrassed officials decided to ignore the popular vote and instead named the vessel the RRS Sir David Attenborough in honour of the veteran broadcaster. A storm of protest led to a compromise that allowed the name to live on.

The submarine plunged to depths as far as 4,000 metres to obtain information about temperature, water flow speed and turbulence from Orkney Passage, a region of the Southern Ocean about 500 miles from the Antarctic Peninsula.


You Gotta Read This

It’s an article on, “12 people, things that ruined the EU.

It starts with Zeus’s rape of Europa, but my favorite item is number 2:

2. Edith Cresson

Going straight from Zeus, ruler of Mount Olympus, to good old Edith Cresson may seem a bit of a stretch. But as a strong contender for the title of worst European commissioner ever, the Frenchwoman does have a claim to fame, too. In the early 1990s, Cresson was a French prime minister who quickly fell out of favor and was forced to resign after less than a year in office. That apparently qualified her for a high-powered job in Brussels. As commissioner for science, research and development, Cresson famously paid her dentist to be a scientific adviser. In 1999, allegations of fraud intended to target Cresson ended up bringing down the entire Commission. To put it crudely: Cresson did to the EU what Zeus did to Europa.

Read it all.

It may not mean anything about the future of the EU, but it is a hoot.

Here is a Transcript of Charlie’s AIPAC Texts

Except for the massaging necessary to convert the SMS texts, the only changes are to manually add the single MMS post, scroll down for Bibi’s hair dye, which was a picture of the hair disaster, and bowdlerizing some swear words.

There are some exchanges that are a bit confusing, because things get a bit temporally dislocated because of the lag between sending and receiving a message and the time to actually thumb type/Swype a response.

Charlie and I worked to clarify this as much as possible.

I have put it after the break, because it would otherwise it would push everything else off the page.

Click thru, particularly if you are reading this through Facebook.

I think that you will find it amusing:

Charles: Are you going to want my opinion on Mike Pence’s speech?
03/26/2017 7:46 PM
Me: Yes
03/26/2017 7:47 PM
Charles: Are you going to watch it from home?
03/26/2017 7:48 PM
Me: God no
03/26/2017 7:48 PM
Charles: Lulz
03/26/2017 7:50 PM
Charles: DC Mayor was here. She said “suport DC statehood”. I’m like yeah fam.
03/26/2017 7:56 PM
Me: Why does she want DC to be a steak? I’m thinking it’s more of a souffle.
03/26/2017 7:57 PM
Charles: fam
03/26/2017 7:58 PM
Me: Fam?
03/26/2017 7:58 PM
Charles: Bad joke fam
03/26/2017 8:00 PM
Charles: They have Stephen Harper speaking
03/26/2017 9:03 PM
Me: That must be terrifying
03/26/2017 9:04 PM
Charles: Meh. Considering Pence will be here, I’m not afraid yet.
03/26/2017 9:06 PM
Charles: He’s mostly talking foreign policy. I.e. not being scary
03/26/2017 9:09 PM
Me: It’s his soulless eyes that are terrifying
03/26/2017 9:10 PM
Charles: Lulz
03/26/2017 9:15 PM
Charles: True, Trudeau’s eyes are better.
03/26/2017 9:16 PM
Me: His are so dreamy
03/26/2017 9:16 PM
Charles: Lilian Pinkus’s voice sounds like a cross between Sarah Palin and Jennifer Granholm
03/26/2017 9:22 PM
Me: The horror.
03/26/2017 9:22 PM
Charles: HE’S HERE
03/26/2017 9:23 PM
Me: Just think of him as a cartoon villain. He already looks like one.
03/26/2017 9:24 PM
03/26/2017 9:24 PM
Charles: That was Kaine. Pence looks like a Bond villain
03/26/2017 9:24 PM
Me: You are correct, sir.
03/26/2017 9:25 PM
Me: I may use our text exchange on out blog.
03/26/2017 9:25 PM
Charles: K
03/26/2017 9:25 PM
Charles: He’s just talking about his previous support for Israel rn.
03/26/2017 9:26 PM
Charles: “From the bottom of my heart, thank you”, the bottom of his cold, lifeless heart
03/26/2017 9:27 PM
Me: Lulz
03/26/2017 9:27 PM
Charles: Oh and he condemned the vandalism of cemetaries, which I appreciate
03/26/2017 9:27 PM
Charles: A friend says: “Can he stop sucking Trump’s dick?”
03/26/2017 9:28 PM
Me: You are killing your old man here! Need oxygen
03/26/2017 9:28 PM
Charles: He’s mostly just talking up trump a saying “hey we support israel”
03/26/2017 9:29 PM
Charles: This is relatively nebulous honestly
03/26/2017 9:30 PM
Charles: Finding as many ways as possible to say he supports Israel
03/26/2017 9:30 PM
Charles: “After decades of simply talking about it”, something about the embassy, but I thought he was talking about his own speech.
03/26/2017 9:33 PM
Charles: Besides moving the embassy, nothing really of policy so far beyond “we support israel”
03/26/2017 9:34 PM
Charles: Ok, now talking about increased military spending. That is a policy point.
03/26/2017 9:35 PM
Charles: “This administration has put Iran on notice”, also a policy point I guess
03/26/2017 9:37 PM
Charles: Someone held up a Trump sign. Hun, the election is over.
03/26/2017 9:38 PM
Charles: Talking about a visit to dachau now
03/26/2017 9:38 PM
Charles: Also I should have brought a gay pride flag
03/26/2017 9:39 PM
Me: Lol
03/26/2017 9:39 PM
Charles: Ok, he just delivered an excelent line
03/26/2017 9:39 PM
Me: Do tell
03/26/2017 9:40 PM
Charles: He was talking with a holocaust survivor, the survivor was telling the story, and ended by saying, “and then, the Americans came.”
03/26/2017 9:40 PM
Charles: Speech just ended
03/26/2017 9:46 PM
Charles: So, the story his, he visited Dachau, met up with a survivor,
03/26/2017 9:47 PM
Charles: The survivor described to him everyone dying around him, one by one,
03/26/2017 9:47 PM
Charles: “And then, the Americans came”
03/26/2017 9:47 PM
Charles: Excellent line, best part of the speech.
03/26/2017 9:48 PM
Me: So, are you done for the evening?
03/26/2017 10:08 PM
Charles: Yup
03/26/2017 10:28 PM
Charles: Bibi dyed his hair
03/27/2017 9:15 AM
Me: Send a picture
03/27/2017 9:15 AM
03/27/2017 9:17 AM
Me: Who does he think that he is fooling?
03/27/2017 9:19 AM
Charles: Lulz
03/27/2017 9:20 AM
Charles: Paul Begala is speaking
03/27/2017 9:29 AM
Me: He’s not a liberal, he just plays one on TV.
03/27/2017 9:29 AM
Charles: He says he’s a lifelong supporter of progressive politics, and he helped Bill Clinton’s campaign. One or the other, sir.
03/27/2017 9:31 AM
Me: Lulz
03/27/2017 9:31 AM
Charles: He used the term protip
03/27/2017 9:32 AM
Charles: Oh and then he praised Israel’s socialized healthcare, which I very much appreciate.
03/27/2017 9:33 AM
Charles: Can we get some of that socialized medicine over here?
03/27/2017 9:34 AM
Me: What fore protip mean?
03/27/2017 9:35 AM
Charles: He was trying to internet lingo
03/27/2017 9:35 AM
Me: So, what does it mean?
03/27/2017 9:36 AM
Charles: It means “here’s a tip from me, I have experience.”
03/27/2017 9:40 AM
Charles: They have Chaim Hertzog’s son speaking, he’s p cool.
03/27/2017 9:54 AM
Charles: Oh, forgot to tell you. Yesterday I asked a question at one of the pannels
03/27/2017 10:09 AM
Me: What was the question?
03/27/2017 10:09 AM
Charles: It was on middle east policy, and I asked the panelists, who were discussing removing Assad how they thought we should deal with the resulting power vacuum.
03/27/2017 10:11 AM
Charles: One of the panelists seemed to understand what I was getting at, the other was more hawkish.
03/27/2017 10:12 AM
Me: You should have said, “Like the disaster in Libya,” to clarify.
03/27/2017 10:35 AM
Charles: TRUE
03/27/2017 10:46 AM
Charles: Wany your help with something
03/27/2017 11:27 AM
Charles: *want
03/27/2017 11:28 AM
Me: Proceed
03/27/2017 11:28 AM
Charles: AIPAC is lobbying for sanctions on Iran for non nuclear actions, I.e. Missile tests, syria, hezbola
03/27/2017 11:30 AM
Me: Yes
03/27/2017 11:30 AM
Charles: They say these non nuclear sanctions would not violate the JCPOA
03/27/2017 11:30 AM
Charles: Someone else said the text of the JCPOA specifically precludes such sanctions (the nature of the agreement notwithstanding)
03/27/2017 11:31 AM
Charles: Can you help me find a source about this?
03/27/2017 11:32 AM
Me: It has a wiki page
03/27/2017 11:32 AM
Charles: It doesn’t have it on there
03/27/2017 11:32 AM
Me: It does mention there that Iranian sources say that the extension of sanctions would breach the deal.
03/27/2017 11:35 AM
Charles: Extension of what sanctions?
03/27/2017 11:36 AM
Me: The nuclear sanctions. There is a bulk in congress to do so.
03/27/2017 11:37 AM
Charles: Does that apply to new non-nuclear related sanctions?
03/27/2017 11:38 AM
Charles: So new non nuclear sanctions are fine?
03/27/2017 11:39 AM
Me: I’m looking.
03/27/2017 11:39 AM
Charles: Imo if they don’t violate the agreement, I’m for them.
03/27/2017 11:40 AM
Charles: https://www.brookings.edu/research/the-jcpoa-should-be-maintained-and-reinforced-with-a-broad-regional-strategy/ this source claims such sanctions are fine.
03/27/2017 11:42 AM
Me: I an fairly certain that Iran & Russia both believe that new sanctions violate the JCPOA. Look at the EU position.
03/27/2017 11:43 AM
Charles: So it’s a matter of dispute then?
03/27/2017 11:44 AM
Me: Yes, but Brookings is VERY hawkish, and not a reliable source.
03/27/2017 11:48 AM
Charles: Ok. I’m having a great deal of trouble finding very many sources.
03/27/2017 11:49 AM
Charles: Do you have a source on the EU position?
03/27/2017 11:50 AM
Me: The EU is trying to keep Trump from monkey wrenching the deal.
03/27/2017 11:51 AM
Me: https://financialtribune.com/articles/national/60708/eu-seeks-to-bolster-iran-nuclear-deal
03/27/2017 11:51 AM
Charles: I get the argument of a slippery slope, but I do think missile testing and Hezbolah funding is worthy of sanctions
03/27/2017 11:53 AM
Me: Iran will never stop finding Hezbollah. Defending the Shia community is something that they would continue even if they became a democracy.
03/27/2017 11:55 AM
Charles: Right but the point is hezbolah’s attacks on israel
03/27/2017 11:56 AM
Me: It’s like the French defending French culture and language around the world.
03/27/2017 11:57 AM
Charles: ?
03/27/2017 11:57 AM
Me: Iran defending Shiia is like the French position. It is a position held with near unanimity across the political spectrum.
03/27/2017 11:59 AM
Charles: I don’t see the equivalence
03/27/2017 11:59 AM
Me: I am saying that this is an existential position of that society
03/27/2017 12:07 PM
Charles: What about the other actions?
03/27/2017 12:11 PM
Me: The missile tests are not a violation of the MTCR, and they have a right to develop such weapons.
03/27/2017 12:13 PM
Charles: Fai6
03/27/2017 12:13 PM
Charles: *fair
03/27/2017 12:14 PM
Me: Also, they have launched civilian satellites as early as 2009.
03/27/2017 12:15 PM
Me: The U.S. position is that any weapons development by governments it deems an adversary are illegal. I call this bullsh%$.
03/27/2017 12:16 PM
Me: Also understand that many of their developments are about deterring the U.S., not threatening Israel.
03/27/2017 12:20 PM
Charles: I see
03/27/2017 12:53 PM
Charles: Btw, look up hr 1221, I find it interesting
03/27/2017 12:54 PM


H.R 1221 Sets up a fund promoting peaceful coexistence and person to person dialogue between individual Israelis and Palestinians.”

Charles: The three lobbying things AIPAC is doing is funding for israel aid, sanctions on iran, and fighting bds
03/27/2017 1:01 PM
Charles: I want to ask if I can lobby for hr 1221
03/27/2017 1:01 PM
Charles: I’d rather lobby for hr 1221
03/27/2017 1:01 PM
Me: Seems like an innocuous bill, but I’m sure that Trump will turn it into something corrupt.
03/27/2017 1:03 PM
Charles: Maybe also the bds thing but mostly hr 1221
03/27/2017 1:04 PM
Me: BTW, it appears that AIPAC funded attacks on J-Street by Islamaphobe nut Frank Gaffney last year.
03/27/2017 1:11 PM
Charles: I’m sorry what. Link?
03/27/2017 1:12 PM
Charles: Seriously I need to hear this
03/27/2017 1:13 PM
Me: http://lobelog.com/did-aipac-help-fund-attack-ad-by-islamophobic-group-on-j-street/
03/27/2017 1:12 PM
Me: J-street is liberal equivalent of AIPAC
03/27/2017 1:13 PM
03/27/2017 1:13 PM
Charles: I know about j street
03/27/2017 1:15 PM
Charles: Yes I saw, I’m reading and I’m upset
03/27/2017 1:16 PM
Me: Better to know now
03/27/2017 1:16 PM
Charles: Yes
03/27/2017 1:17 PM
Charles: Geez you are persuasive
03/27/2017 1:18 PM
Charles: Except with your pessimism on hr 1221
03/27/2017 1:18 PM
Me: Never underestimate the ability of conservatives to subvert good intentions.
03/27/2017 1:18 PM
Me: Yeah, I’m a bit of a cynic.
03/27/2017 1:19 PM
Charles: Lulz wait that’s depressing
03/27/2017 1:24 PM
Charles: To be clear, I still disagree with your assessment of hezbolah
03/27/2017 1:36 PM
Charles: But I understand why there’s probably a perception of needing to do that.
03/27/2017 1:37 PM
Me: I think that Hezbollah is primarily a terrorist organisation with a Shia political party rump.
03/27/2017 1:37 PM
Charles: So basically, the uk view?
03/27/2017 1:38 PM
Me: But Iran will always support them, because it is part of the great game being played between Sunni and Shia for over a millennium.
03/27/2017 1:39 PM
Me: I should note that Hezbollah also does a better job of provisioning services than does the central Lebanese government does.
03/27/2017 1:40 PM
Me: That fact is a major source of their power.
03/27/2017 1:41 PM
Charles: The way a lot of this conflict is framed here, it’s like saying shia islam is the problem
03/27/2017 1:45 PM
Charles: With the situation over there, I fear that vew could lead to genocide.
03/27/2017 1:45 PM
Me: Because AIPAC is close with the House of Saud these days.
03/27/2017 1:46 PM
Charles: Yeah I’m glad I’ve come here, but I prob won’t attend again.
03/27/2017 1:56 PM
Me: Why not? You are collecting valuable intelligence.
03/27/2017 1:57 PM
Charles: That’s why I’m glad I came. But I’d rather not come again.
03/27/2017 1:58 PM
Me: Also understand the value of developing social connections to assholes.
03/27/2017 1:59 PM
Charles: Outweighed by the fact that they are assholes. Although most of the people are nice.
03/27/2017 2:01 PM
Me: Also, if you want to be politically active, being friendly to jerks is required.
03/27/2017 2:03 PM
Charles: Ugh
03/27/2017 2:06 PM
Me: Welcome to reality
03/27/2017 2:06 PM
Charles: Nikki Haley is about to speak
03/27/2017 4:56 PM
Me: Oh joy
03/27/2017 4:56 PM
Charles: And here she is
03/27/2017 4:57 PM
Charles: The crowd loves her
03/27/2017 4:59 PM
Charles: She’s vastly oversimplifying the Iran deal rn
03/27/2017 5:02 PM
Me: Well she is dumb as a post
03/27/2017 5:03 PM
Charles: This is an interview btw
03/27/2017 5:03 PM
Charles: “I wanted to make sure that the United states started leading again”
03/27/2017 5:04 PM
Charles: Most of what she’s saying, besides the lran deal, I have no issue with tbh. It’s pretty inocuous.
03/27/2017 5:05 PM
Charles: K then
03/27/2017 5:06 PM
Charles: The crowd is eating this up.
03/27/2017 5:06 PM
Charles: “I don’t know who it was” who wrote the report calling Israel an apartheid state. You should prob know that hun.
03/27/2017 5:08 PM
Me: Like I Said; dumb as a post.
03/27/2017 5:09 PM
Charles: Like I think she forgot who it was.
03/27/2017 5:10 PM
Charles: But damn if the crowd doesn’t love her.
03/27/2017 5:10 PM
Me: And what does this say about the crowd m
03/27/2017 5:11 PM
Charles: I don’t like giving ovations to people like her.
03/27/2017 5:14 PM

Re: Ovations
03/27/2017 5:16 PM

03/27/2017 5:17 PM
Charles: (1/2) “what happened to that turn table thing from last year? I really liked it. Sometimes it seems like politicians talk in circles, last year with the stage w
03/27/2017 5:19 PM
Charles: (2/2) e actually had that.”
03/27/2017 5:19 PM
Charles: “thanks to all the young people here” no prob bro, now can you not try to ruin our healthcare again
03/27/2017 5:20 PM
Me: .lol
03/27/2017 5:20 PM
Charles: He’s talking about his trip to israel, talking about the cool stuff.
03/27/2017 5:20 PM
Charles: Universal healthcare was not one of the things he mentioned
03/27/2017 5:21 PM
Charles: And now talking about the strength of the US Israel relationship. I agree with that but I’ve heard heard it ad nauseum
03/27/2017 5:22 PM


Charles: Under no uncertain terms.
03/27/2017 5:22 PM
Charles: Wow, I was wondering when someone would be candid here.
03/27/2017 5:22 PM
Charles: Now onto the iran deal
03/27/2017 5:22 PM
Charles: “an unmitigated disaster”
03/27/2017 5:23 PM
Charles: Cool story bro
03/27/2017 5:23 PM
Me: Dude, you are writing some amazing stuff here.
03/27/2017 5:24 PM
Charles: “I think it is time we rigorously enforce this deal and hold iran accountable when they violate” I thought you didn’t like the deal
03/27/2017 5:24 PM
Charles: And calling for more sanctions
03/27/2017 5:24 PM
Charles: Saying Iran is basically wholey responsible for the problems in the middle east (hun no)
03/27/2017 5:26 PM
Charles: Oh snap
03/27/2017 5:27 PM
Me: What did he just say
03/27/2017 5:28 PM


Charles: Honey no that is one step removed from all out war.
03/27/2017 5:28 PM
Me: What?
03/27/2017 5:28 PM
Me: If he called for a blockade, that is technically an act of war.
03/27/2017 5:28 PM
Charles: Also talking about stopping iranian airlines from delivering weapons. Hope that doesn’t involve shooting another one down?
03/27/2017 5:29 PM
Charles: He proposed putting the iranian revolutionary guard on the list o
03/27/2017 5:30 PM
Charles: of terrorist groups
03/27/2017 5:31 PM
Me: It does, and without a Security Council mandate, it is illegal.
03/27/2017 5:30 PM
Charles: …oh sh%$
03/27/2017 5:32 PM
Charles: Ok now he’s talking about BDS
03/27/2017 5:32 PM
Charles: Same speil, I’ve heard it ad nauseum, I agree with it but I’m tired of hearing it
03/27/2017 5:33 PM
Charles: Ok, I don’t know if he was proposing a blockade, but he said we needed to work to stop the airlines from delivering weapons
03/27/2017 5:33 PM
Charles: And saying israel shouldn’t negotiate with hamas. I understand the sentiment, but it’s problematic to peace talks.
03/27/2017 5:33 PM
Charles: Because he just said they should negotiate when the unity government includes hamas
03/27/2017 5:34 PM
Charles: Is that proposing a blockade?
03/27/2017 5:34 PM
Me: It’s awfully close
03/27/2017 5:34 PM
Charles: And now he’s talking the vandalism and bomb threats.
03/27/2017 5:35 PM
Charles: “These attacks on Jewish Americans are vile and they are disgusting.”
03/27/2017 5:35 PM
Charles: And summarizing
03/27/2017 5:35 PM
Me: Yeah, but the bomb threats were made by an Israeli.
03/27/2017 5:36 PM
Charles: I want to go back to the hotel
03/27/2017 5:36 PM
Charles: He’s done. Bye Mr. Smurfeyes
03/27/2017 5:37 PM
Me: Charlie Pierce calls him the “Zombie eyed granny starver”
03/27/2017 5:38 PM
Charles: And now we have McCarthy and whatshisname
03/27/2017 5:39 PM
Me: Joe McCarthy is dead
03/27/2017 5:39 PM
Charles: The minority whip
03/27/2017 5:39 PM
Charles: It’s another interview
03/27/2017 5:39 PM
Charles: Not that McCarthy, Kevin
03/27/2017 5:40 PM
Me: D’oh!
03/27/2017 5:41 PM
Charles: “We’ll debate a lot, but we’re still friends”
03/27/2017 5:42 PM
Charles: You know, I’ve heard a lot of politicians say that over the past two days and idk if I believe it
03/27/2017 5:41 PM
Charles: Steny Hoyer is the other guy
03/27/2017 5:42 PM
Charles: They’re the cosponsors of the iran sanctions.
03/27/2017 5:42 PM
Me: Hoyer is f%$#ing useless
03/27/2017 5:43 PM
Me: I get the sense that your texting me is preserving a modicum of your sanity.
03/27/2017 5:42 PM
Charles: Dad, why else whould I be texting you at a time like this?
03/27/2017 5:44 PM
Me: Glad that I can be of assistance.
03/27/2017 5:44 PM
Charles: I’m not even paying attention atm
03/27/2017 5:45 PM
Charles: I wanna go home
03/27/2017 5:45 PM
Charles: No other country has spent more (on rockets) without trying to develop a nuclear weapon”
03/27/2017 5:46 PM
Charles: Well I mean yes but alot of that spending was space exploration hun
03/27/2017 5:46 PM
Charles: I wanna go home
03/27/2017 5:46 PM
Me: That which does not kill you makes you stronger.
03/27/2017 5:46 PM
Charles: I don’t even care about meeting congresspeople, they suck anyway.
03/27/2017 5:47 PM
Me: Ironic that I am quoting the Nazi’s favorite philosopher.
03/27/2017 5:47 PM
Me: In the words of Gold 5, “Stay on target.”
03/27/2017 5:48 PM
Me: Of course Gold 5 got shot down.
03/27/2017 5:49 PM
Charles: The person who said the spending thing was mccarthy btw
03/27/2017 5:58 PM
Charles: Here’s Grace Nepolitano
03/27/2017 5:59 PM
Me: Is this Janet’s kid?
03/27/2017 5:59 PM
Charles: Did you send me the “joe mccarthy is dead” txt twice?
03/27/2017 6:00 PM
Charles: Idk but she’s off stage now
03/27/2017 6:00 PM
Me: I don’t think so
03/27/2017 6:00 PM
Charles: Our texts are getting mixed up
03/27/2017 6:01 PM
Charles: Gold 5?
03/27/2017 6:02 PM
Me: Star Wars, the original.
03/27/2017 6:03 PM
Charles: You need to be more specific about what you mean
03/27/2017 6:05 PM
Charles: Lior is asking me for origami help.
03/27/2017 6:04 PM
Me: Lior?
03/27/2017 6:04 PM
Charles: One of the shinshinim (israeli student here for a year) on the trip with us.
03/27/2017 6:06 PM
Me: You said that you were helping Lior with orgami.. Who s are they?
03/27/2017 6:06 PM
Charles: Lior is one of the shinshinim
03/27/2017 6:07 PM
Charles: Did you not get the text?
03/27/2017 6:08 PM
Me: What is a shinshinim?
03/27/2017 6:07 PM
Charles: I just said
03/27/2017 6:07 PM
Me: A girl or a guy?
03/27/2017 6:08 PM
Me: Latency issues
03/27/2017 6:08 PM
Charles: She’s a high schol graduate here in the us for a year
03/27/2017 6:10 PM
Me: I will try not to squee, but she likes you.
03/27/2017 6:10 PM
03/27/2017 6:06 PM
03/27/2017 6:06 PM
Charles: Also all Tim Kaine did was introduce a dance program. I am disappoint.
03/27/2017 6:11 PM
Me: If Tim Kaine was dancing, I’m glassy that I didn’t see it.
03/27/2017 6:11 PM
Charles: He didn’t dance. He just introduced a video about a dance program.
03/27/2017 6:12 PM
Charles: Take me home. Please.
03/27/2017 6:13 PM
Charles: Tell Uncle Steve I wish I was at J-Street too.
03/27/2017 7:03 PM
Me: .ok
03/27/2017 7:04 PM
Charles: So, the iranian revolutionary guard is basically iran’s military?
03/27/2017 8:33 PM
Me: It’s also a major political force as well as a major economic player in the local economy.
03/27/2017 8:34 PM
Me: It is at best a small portion of Iran’s military.
03/27/2017 8:34 PM
Charles: Ok
03/27/2017 8:35 PM
Charles: If it was declared a terrorist group, what do ou think the fallout would be?
03/27/2017 8:35 PM
Me: It would get ugly really fast.
03/27/2017 8:36 PM
Charles: Ugly as in possible war?
03/27/2017 8:52 PM
Me: Ugly as in as in blowing up the nuclear agreement with the EU telling us to go Cheney themselves. It is worse than a Crime. It is a mistake.
03/27/2017 8:55 PM
Charles: Oh and this is an existing proposal by Trump.
03/27/2017 8:57 PM
Me: Actually, I think that it is more from the congressional hawks than Trump.
03/27/2017 8:58 PM
Charles: Either way it was an existing proposal
03/27/2017 9:03 PM
Me: It’s been floating around for some time.
03/27/2017 9:04 PM
Me: I talked with Natalie, and she said that your should exchange numbers with Lior. I agree.
03/27/2017 11:05 PM
Charles: Are you f%$#ing serious. Stop
03/27/2017 11:06 PM
Me: I asked Nat first.
03/27/2017 11:06 PM
Charles: Besides we’ve all been shipping her with the other person from israel.
03/27/2017 11:09 PM
Me: I’m taking being a texting buddy
03/27/2017 11:09 PM
Me: How you doing otherwise?
03/27/2017 11:07 PM
Me: It’s just for texting.
03/27/2017 11:07 PM
Charles: I’m doing fine. Ready to go home tomorrow
03/27/2017 11:07 PM
Me: I tot it was Wednesday
03/27/2017 11:07 PM
Charles: No, I’m home tomorrow afternoon
03/27/2017 11:08 PM
Me: Last night, I went upstairs to shout at you to go to bed.
03/27/2017 11:09 PM
Charles: Lulz
03/27/2017 11:10 PM
Me: Should I do this tonight too?
03/27/2017 11:10 PM
Charles: Go ahead
03/27/2017 11:11 PM
Charles: Mitch McConnel is speaking now
03/28/2017 8:12 AM
Charles: I’ve never seen this species of turtle up close
03/28/2017 8:13 AM
Charles: “And of course, thanks to all the Kentuckian’s here with us” 7 people cheer.
03/28/2017 8:13 AM
Me: Lol
03/28/2017 8:14 AM
Charles: And we begin with the standard Iran deal spiel.
03/28/2017 8:14 AM
Charles: He’s talking about obama because potatos
03/28/2017 8:15 AM
Me: Potatoes?
03/28/2017 8:15 AM
Charles: Criticizing trying to close gitmo because screw due process
03/28/2017 8:15 AM
Charles: Potatos as in I don’t know
03/28/2017 8:15 AM
Charles: Criticizing leaving Irag and Afganistan because I don’t know tbh
03/28/2017 8:16 AM
Me: Tbh?
03/28/2017 8:16 AM
Charles: To be honest
03/28/2017 8:17 AM
Charles: Now talking about shia fighter like shia is equivalent to a terrorist group
03/28/2017 8:17 AM
Charles: “shia proxies” you mean shia muslims?
03/28/2017 8:18 AM
Charles: Iran, blah blah blah
03/28/2017 8:18 AM
Charles: Saying Withdrawing from Iraq caused Al Quada to become Isis (wrong)
03/28/2017 8:19 AM
Charles: Coughed once
03/28/2017 8:19 AM
Charles: Talking about standing with israel.
03/28/2017 8:20 AM
Me: The core of Daesh were Sunni tribesmen trained by Petraeus during the surge.
03/28/2017 8:21 AM
Charles: Oh rlly?
03/28/2017 8:22 AM
Charles: I will say this is much more substantive than the other speeches. So there’s that
03/28/2017 8:22 AM
Me: Yes. That’s why they could use captured complex military equipment supplied by the U.S. so quickly. We trained them.
03/28/2017 8:23 AM
Charles: Man we are f%$ing dumb
03/28/2017 8:24 AM
Me: We are a blind stupid giant
03/28/2017 8:25 AM
Charles: “We must use all elements, all elements of our power” does that include was becuase I don’t like that
03/28/2017 8:25 AM
03/28/2017 8:25 AM
Charles: You know he’s smart when he uses big words
03/28/2017 8:26 AM
Me: Yes, that includes direct military force
03/28/2017 8:26 AM
Charles: Ok he’s in no uncertain terms proposing military action. Like direct action
03/28/2017 8:26 AM
Me: Vis is a small word
03/28/2017 8:27 AM
Charles: It’s a smart word (sarcasm)
03/28/2017 8:27 AM
Charles: You know, maybe I don’t like turtles all that much.
03/28/2017 8:28 AM
Charles: This one’s kinda gung ho nuts
03/28/2017 8:28 AM
Me: Your grandmother lived turtles
03/28/2017 8:28 AM
Me: Loved
03/28/2017 8:28 AM
Charles: And he’s done
03/28/2017 8:29 AM
Charles: The turtle returns to the shell
03/28/2017 8:30 AM
Me: At one point we had 12 turtles, 3 cats, and 2 iguanas
03/28/2017 8:30 AM
Charles: Chuck Schumer is speaking
03/28/2017 8:31 AM
Me: I can smell the hhypocrisy all the way out here in Baltimore
03/28/2017 8:32 AM
Charles: A woman told him that he was the bravest me#ber of congress because he wore a yarmulka
03/28/2017 8:32 AM
Charles: He said thank you, but this is not a yarmulka
03/28/2017 8:32 AM
Me: He wears a hair piece then?
03/28/2017 8:33 AM
Charles: No, he was pointing to his bald spot
03/28/2017 8:34 AM
Charles: He mentioned his highschool and more people cheered than the number from kentucky
03/28/2017 8:35 AM
Charles: Ok most of this is about how israel is great. I’m down with that, but not much policy
03/28/2017 8:36 AM
Charles: Talk of antisemitism in Europe
03/28/2017 8:38 AM
Charles: And of antisemitic vandalism and neo-nazi violence
03/28/2017 8:39 AM
Charles: And bomb threats
03/28/2017 8:39 AM
Me: How about the antisemitism of the alt right?
03/28/2017 8:39 AM
Charles: “regardless of the culprit’s religion or nationality”
03/28/2017 8:40 AM
Charles: He specifically said far right, so close enough I guess
03/28/2017 8:40 AM
Charles: He’s focusing on the combat of antisemitism, I like this
03/28/2017 8:41 AM
Charles: And now on the antisemitism of BDS
03/28/2017 8:43 AM
Charles: I’m enjoying this one tbh
03/28/2017 8:45 AM
Charles: “we must support sanctions against iran’s ICBM program” I mean they did launch satelites.
03/28/2017 8:51 AM
Charles: Ok, he’s done now. I enjoyed most of that
03/28/2017 8:54 AM
Charles: And now, Nancy Pelosi
03/28/2017 8:54 AM
Charles: “We love you Nancy” someone yelled
03/28/2017 8:55 AM
Me: Gawd
03/28/2017 8:55 AM
Charles: More people from san diego than kentucky, poor turtle
03/28/2017 8:56 AM
Me: Pelosi it’s a Baltimore native
03/28/2017 8:56 AM
Charles: I know.
03/28/2017 8:57 AM
Me: Daughter of Tommy Dellisandro
03/28/2017 8:57 AM
Charles: She’s naming different places to get cheers
03/28/2017 8:58 AM
Me: Lame
03/28/2017 8:58 AM
Charles: “Anybody here from california” many cheers
03/28/2017 8:59 AM
Charles: “My native state of maryland” ayyy fam
03/28/2017 8:59 AM
Charles: Meh
03/28/2017 8:59 AM
Charles: This speech isn’t very engaging.
03/28/2017 8:59 AM
Charles: “Let’s here it for my grandchildren”
03/28/2017 9:00 AM
Charles: Talking aboout the power of immigrants, cool.
03/28/2017 9:02 AM
Charles: She h
03/28/2017 9:05 AM
Charles: I’m honestly kinda bored. I agree with much of what she’s saying, but the presentation is boring.
03/28/2017 9:06 AM
Me: Welcome to the Democratic party
03/28/2017 9:07 AM
Charles: And she’s done
03/28/2017 9:14 AM
Charles: Ugh can we go lobbying yet, I want to see dutch ruppersburger
03/28/2017 9:16 AM
Charles: Should I speak up if I disagree with something?
03/28/2017 11:21 AM
Me: Yes
03/28/2017 11:22 AM
Me: What is the issue
03/28/2017 11:23 AM
Charles: The UN does have resolutions against Iran’s ballistic missiles btw
03/28/2017 11:24 AM
Charles: But I still am wary of sanctions atm
03/28/2017 11:25 AM
Me: The U.N. security council, or the general assembly?
03/28/2017 11:26 AM
Charles: Council
03/28/2017 11:26 AM
Me: The people who want immediate sanctions are interested primarily in creating a causus belli
03/28/2017 11:27 AM
Charles: Causus belli?
03/28/2017 11:28 AM
Me: Justification for war
03/28/2017 11:28 AM
Charles: Geez
03/28/2017 11:29 AM
Me: There are elements of the U.S. government who have been trying to get into a shooting war with Iran for decades.
03/28/2017 11:31 AM
Me: SecDef Mattis is one of them.
03/28/2017 11:32 AM
Charles: If I want to speak to someone in my own capacity, how do I do that?
03/28/2017 11:34 AM
Charles: Well I spoke to sarbanes, got nervous and forgot to mention hr1221. But I mentioned the csb to him so hey that was cool.
03/28/2017 11:47 AM
Me: Csb?
03/28/2017 11:48 AM
Charles: Chemical saftety board. Dad ffs I’ve been on and on about it.
03/28/2017 11:49 AM
Me: I was thinking Israel, Sorry
03/28/2017 11:50 AM
Charles: Well sarbanes seems to be against eliminiating the csb so that’s good.
03/28/2017 11:57 AM
Charles: I took the last slice of chocolate cake from the congressional cafeteria
03/28/2017 12:06 PM
Me: Good for you.
03/28/2017 12:06 PM
Me: Short form: Updated U.N. resolution adopted w/JCPOA probably not violated. Language was “shall not” is now “is called upon not to”. Euro accept this
03/28/2017 12:49 PM
Me: http://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2017/02/03/513229839/did-irans-ballistic-missile-test-violate-a-u-n-resolution
03/28/2017 12:49 PM
Charles: I see.
03/28/2017 12:49 PM
Me: The U.S. is alone in this interpretation of missile tests
03/28/2017 12:50 PM
Charles: I actually already read that link
03/28/2017 12:50 PM
03/28/2017 1:45 PM
03/28/2017 1:46 PM
Charles: Oh and I did remember to tell him about hr 1221
03/28/2017 1:47 PM
Me: What weirdness happened this time?
03/28/2017 1:51 PM
Charles: He asked about my hat
03/28/2017 1:52 PM
Me: The duct tape blindfold?
03/28/2017 1:53 PM
Me: Who is he?
03/28/2017 1:53 PM
Charles: Dutch Ruppersberger is our representative
03/28/2017 1:54 PM
Me: He will remember your hat, though.
03/28/2017 1:55 PM
Charles: I hope so. Today is a good day.
03/28/2017 1:56 PM
Me: Better than yesterday?
03/28/2017 2:01 PM
Charles: Yes
03/28/2017 2:02 PM
Me: Make any new friends m
03/28/2017 2:02 PM
Charles: Does our rep count?
03/28/2017 2:03 PM
Me: Nope. You are a constituent, not a friend.
03/28/2017 2:03 PM
Me: I was actually wondering about other attendees.
03/28/2017 2:04 PM
Me: Text me when you’re headed home.
03/28/2017 2:52 PM
Charles: Ok, will be heading out soon
03/28/2017 2:55 PM

Well Trolled

The Clinton Campaign is now offering tin foil hats with a rump theme:

Hillary Clinton’s campaign is mocking Donald Trump with do-it-yourself tin foil hats.
Cinton’s campaign website features a promotional brochure for a “Trump Tin Foil Hat.” The brochure ridicules the Republican nominee for his “conspiracies” and shares instructions to help supporters create their own “Make America Great Again” foil hats.

“In fact if we elect Donald Trump, we could have a president dedicated to the truth: where is Elvis? Where did we film the moon landing?” the brochure reads.

Grab your tinfoil hat and buckle up—it doesn’t look like Donald Trump will stop peddling conspiracies any time soon. https://t.co/PrwQ5jXQPq pic.twitter.com/iAzZMPbf7I

— The Briefing (@TheBriefing2016) October 25, 2016

Whoever did this deserves a promotion.