{"id":182401,"date":"2015-10-01T21:36:00","date_gmt":"2015-10-02T02:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/2015\/10\/01\/i-for-one-welcome-our-new-cow-overlords\/"},"modified":"2015-10-01T21:36:00","modified_gmt":"2015-10-02T02:36:00","slug":"i-for-one-welcome-our-new-cow-overlords","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/2015\/10\/01\/i-for-one-welcome-our-new-cow-overlords\/","title":{"rendered":"I, For One, Welcome Our New Cow Overlords"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It appears that the Cows have <a href=\"http:\/\/www.syracuse.com\/news\/index.ssf\/2015\/09\/1500-pound_rogue_cow_has_been_eluding_capture_for_months_in_central_ny.html\">begun their guerrilla campaign to take over the world<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>T<span style=\"color: blue;\">he way to catch a cow is through its stomach \u2013 at least that\u2019s what New Hartford police are hoping.<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: blue;\"><br \/><\/span> <span style=\"color: blue;\">On Monday, the department set a trap for the rogue cow that continues to make appearances along Route 840. Police previously told the O-D the cow weighs about 1,500 pounds and has been on the loose for several months. Efforts to identify its owner have been unsuccessful.<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: blue;\"><br \/><\/span> <span style=\"color: blue;\">\u201cCurrently we\u2019re trying to feed it and trap it at the same time,\u201d police Chief Michael Inserra said. \u201cClinton Tractor has been gracious enough to loan us what is called a headlock feeder &#8230; and as (the cow is) feeding on it, a spring-loading locking mechanism will trap the cow in the feeder by its head.\u201d<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: blue;\"><br \/><\/span> <span style=\"color: blue;\">Headlock feeders are regularly used by farmers and trap cows in a way similar to how a child\u2019s head could become trapped in a banister.<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: blue;\"><br \/><\/span> <span style=\"color: blue;\">Inserra said police placed the trap Monday and are checking on it hourly. If the cow is successfully trapped, a local farmer has agreed to take it, he said.<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: blue;\"><br \/><\/span> <span style=\"color: blue;\">\u201cWe\u2019re assuming it\u2019s going to take a few days for the cow hopefully to approach this trap,\u201d Inserra said. \u201cIt\u2019s a very skittish animal.\u201d<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: blue;\"><br \/><\/span> <span style=\"color: blue;\">Stephanie Kelly and her friends spotted the rogue cow on Route 8 on Thursday, while she and other members of the Sauquoit Valley Garden Club were on their way back from a trip to Old Forge.<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: blue;\"><br \/><\/span> <span style=\"color: blue;\">Kelly said the cow appeared to be scared, and was running down the road for several miles \u2013 holding up southbound traffic \u2013 before it ran off into the brush shortly before the Washington Mills exit.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>It&#8217;s like the beginning of <i>Planet of the Apes<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>This is not an isolated incident.  This is the beginning of a bovine insurrection!<sup>*<\/sup><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/i.imgur.com\/7rpEWxS.gif\" rel=\"lytebox\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/i.imgur.com\/7rpEWxS.gif\" width=\"500\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><sup>*<\/sup><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Yes, this is actually an isolated incident.  Some cow jumped the fence, and is now out smarting local authorities.  It is absurd to suggest that cows are plotting to take over the world.<\/span><sup>\u2020<\/sup><\/p>\n<p><sup>\u2020<\/sup><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Because cats have <b><span style=\"font-size: 100%; font-variant: small-caps;\">already<\/span><\/b> taken over the world.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It appears that the Cows have begun their guerrilla campaign to take over the world: The way to catch a cow is through its stomach \u2013 at least that\u2019s what New Hartford police are hoping. On Monday, the department set a trap for the rogue cow that continues to make appearances along Route 840. Police &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[962,1029,1015],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-182401","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-40yrs","category-agriculture","category-weird"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/182401"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=182401"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/182401\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=182401"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=182401"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=182401"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}