{"id":186468,"date":"2014-01-13T21:39:00","date_gmt":"2014-01-14T02:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/2014\/01\/13\/things-that-i-really-did-not-want-to-know\/"},"modified":"2014-01-13T21:39:00","modified_gmt":"2014-01-14T02:39:00","slug":"things-that-i-really-did-not-want-to-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/2014\/01\/13\/things-that-i-really-did-not-want-to-know\/","title":{"rendered":"Things that I Really Did Not Want to Know"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/i.imgur.com\/nQGjyCs.gif\" style=\"cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px;\" width=\"380\" \/>Philadelphia police are looking for a scofflaw they call the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.phillymag.com\/news\/2014\/01\/11\/norristowns-swiss-cheese-pervert\/\">Swiss Cheese Masturbator<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: blue;\">The cops are looking for him, and now a <i>Philadelphia Magazine<\/i> writer may have actually tracked down the man who&#8217;s been<a href=\"http:\/\/gawker.com\/philadelphia-searching-for-swiss-cheese-masturbator-1499378012\"> exposing himself in front of &#8220;a number&#8221; of Philadelphia women and asking them to jerk him off<\/a> with a slice of swiss cheese.<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: blue;\"><br \/><\/span><span style=\"color: blue;\">According to reports, the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/mayfairtownwatch\/permalink\/479753102133753\/?stream_ref=2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">overweight cheese aficionado <\/a>likes  to drive up next to women in parking lots, show them his genitals, and  then offer them money to masturbate him with a slice of swiss. Other  Philadelphia women have reported receiving similar messages from him on <a href=\"http:\/\/a.disquscdn.com\/uploads\/mediaembed\/images\/785\/493\/original.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">dating sites like OKCupid<\/a>. <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I should have taken the blue pill.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Philadelphia police are looking for a scofflaw they call the Swiss Cheese Masturbator: The cops are looking for him, and now a Philadelphia Magazine writer may have actually tracked down the man who&#8217;s been exposing himself in front of &#8220;a number&#8221; of Philadelphia women and asking them to jerk him off with a slice of &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1052,1075,1015],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-186468","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-crimes","category-sex","category-weird"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/186468"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=186468"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/186468\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=186468"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=186468"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=186468"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}