{"id":189975,"date":"2010-01-20T22:19:00","date_gmt":"2010-01-21T03:19:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/2010\/01\/20\/best-satan\/"},"modified":"2010-01-20T22:19:00","modified_gmt":"2010-01-21T03:19:00","slug":"best-satan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/2010\/01\/20\/best-satan\/","title":{"rendered":"Best, Satan"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A <a href=\"http:\/\/www.startribune.com\/opinion\/letters\/81595442.html?elr=KArks7PYDiaK7DUqEiaDUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUU\">letter to the editor from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 153);\"><p>Dear Pat Robertson,<\/p>\n<p>I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I&#8217;m all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I&#8217;m no welcher.<\/p>\n<p>The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth &#8212; glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle.<\/p>\n<p>Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven&#8217;t you seen &#8220;Crossroads&#8221;? Or &#8220;Damn Yankees&#8221;?<\/p>\n<p>If I had a thing going with Haiti, there&#8217;d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox &#8212; that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style.<\/p>\n<p>Nothing against it &#8212; I&#8217;m just saying: Not how I roll.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;re doing great work, Pat, and I don&#8217;t want to clip your wings &#8212; just, come on, you&#8217;re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad.<\/p>\n<p>Keep blaming God. That&#8217;s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.<\/p>\n<p>Best, Satan <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>(<span style=\"font-style:italic;\">line breaks are mine, the LTE had none<\/span>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A letter to the editor from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune: Dear Pat Robertson, I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I&#8217;m all over that action. But when you say &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1100,1002,1051,1021],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-189975","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny","category-good-writing","category-hypocrisy","category-religion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/189975"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=189975"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/189975\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=189975"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=189975"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=189975"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}