{"id":191616,"date":"2009-07-19T17:25:00","date_gmt":"2009-07-19T22:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/2009\/07\/19\/the-best-press-release-ever\/"},"modified":"2009-07-19T17:25:00","modified_gmt":"2009-07-19T22:25:00","slug":"the-best-press-release-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/2009\/07\/19\/the-best-press-release-ever\/","title":{"rendered":"The Best Press Release Ever"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Cyclone Power Technologies <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cyclonepower.com\/press\/7-16-09.pdf\">issued the following press release<\/a> regarding rumors of it creating flesh eating zombie hordes:<\/p>\n<blockquote style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 153);\"><p><u>PRESS RELEASE<\/u><\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">Cyclone Power Technologies Responds to<br \/>Rumors about \u201cFlesh Eating \u201d Military Robot<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>POMPANO BEACH, FL, July 16, 2009. In response to rumors circulating the internet on sites such as FoxNews.com, FastCompany.com and CNET News about a \u201cflesh eating \u201drobot project, Cyclone Power Technologies Inc. (Pink Sheets: CYPW) and Robotic Technology Inc. (RTI) would like to set the record straight: This robot is strictly <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">vegetarian<\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>On July 7, Cyclone announced that it had completed the first stage of development for a beta <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">biomass engine<\/span> system used to power RTI \u2019s Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot (EATR\u2122), a Phase II SBIR project sponsored by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), Defense Sciences Office. RTI \u2019s EATR is an autonomous robotic platform able to perform long-range, long-endurance missions without the need for manual or conventional re-fueling.<\/p>\n<p>RTI \u2019s patent pending robotic system will be able to find, ingest and extract energy from <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">biomass<\/span> in the environment. Despite the far-reaching reports that this includes \u201chuman bodies,\u201d the public can be assured that the engine Cyclone has developed to power the EATR runs on fuel no scarier than twigs, grass clippings and wood chips \u2013 small, plant-based items for which RTI \u2019s robotic technology is designed to forage. Desecration of the dead is a war crime under Article 15 of the Geneva Conventions, and is certainly not something sanctioned by DARPA, Cyclone or RTI.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe completely understand the public \u2019s concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population,but that is not our mission,\u201dstated Harry Schoell,Cyclone \u2019s CEO.\u201cWe are focused on demonstrating that our engines can create usable, <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">green power<\/span> from plentiful, <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">renewable plant<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">matter<\/span>. The commercial applications alone for this <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">earth-friendly<\/span> energy solution are enormous.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>(<span style=\"font-style: italic;\">emphasis original<\/span>)<\/p>\n<p>Somehow, I do not think that this press release will help much.  They just cemented their position in the public view as a manufacturer of Cannibal Zombdroids<sup>\u2122<\/sup>.<\/p>\n<p>If <del>Leno<\/del>, O&#8217;Brien, Letterman, Colbert, or Stewart&#8217;s writer&#8217;s hear about this, it will be how your company is introduced to mainstream America.<\/p>\n<p>H\/t <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wired.com\/dangerroom\/2009\/07\/company-denies-its-robots-feed-on-the-dead\/\">Noah Shachtman<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Cyclone Power Technologies issued the following press release regarding rumors of it creating flesh eating zombie hordes: PRESS RELEASE Cyclone Power Technologies Responds toRumors about \u201cFlesh Eating \u201d Military Robot POMPANO BEACH, FL, July 16, 2009. In response to rumors circulating the internet on sites such as FoxNews.com, FastCompany.com and CNET News about a \u201cflesh &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[962,1135,1025,1015],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-191616","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-40yrs","category-energy","category-technology","category-weird"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/191616"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=191616"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/191616\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=191616"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=191616"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.panix.com\/~msaroff\/40years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=191616"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}