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About this site

About the site (general)

This site is your basic "ego trip site". All content copyright © Jens Johansson 2024. No redistribution allowed.

User settings (basic)

Selecting any of these links will change the appearance of the site. The settings will be retained on your next visit — they're stored in a cookie on your machine. Consequently, you must accept cookies to use these. The three following buttons are quick methods in case you want to a) print documents from this site (no margins and black text), b) restore margins and text color, or c) restore all defaults.

User settings (detailed)

You can have the default [wide] page margins, or no margins (which is better for printing).

You can havewhite text on black background which is the default, or[black text on white background] which is better for printing.

You can also turnon navigational heading links at the top of the page, or[omit them], which is the default for most pages. Some lengthy pages use them — you candisable them altogether.

You candisable blinking text, or[leave] it (default).

You can either make all images open into thesame window, or have images open in a[new] window (default).

I have a habit of typing -- when I mean —, so by default I have this translated by the server on the fly. You can eitherdisable or[enable] this translation.

Also, by default I've chosen to[disable] any "smileys" in these documents that I may have slipped in there as a matter of bad habit. You canre-enable them if you wish.

Here's a test dash and a test smiley:  —  

For footnotes, you can either: get a[javascript box/href link] (default); getonly an href link (that is, no javascript — for NS3, JS disabled browsers, etc); see the footnotes asinline text; see the footnotes astext at the end of the page (the traditional way!); OR, you canDELETE them completely! (Let's face it, I put a lot of drivel in these stupid footnotes! )

Here's a test footnote: [ * ]

You can change the font for the whole site (default is "arial,helvetica")

You can easily track any changes to the site in the site's Section Index, if you turn"last visit" tracking on. You can of course[disable] lastvisit tracking again. ('disabled' is the default)

Lastly, you can eithershow your cookie jar state for this site at the top of the page for debugging, or[not] show it, which is the default.

Make all desired changes above, and

About the site (design)

NO unnecccesary images. NO fucking frames. NO fucking javascript required. TOTALLY lynx compatible! (because I don't hate blind people!)


I have to confess, when I've tested whatever JS there is on the site and checked the graphical output of the code, I've used Netscape 4.. I don't like IE, on principle.. YMMV.

If you want the site to look more modern, slick, funky, hip, elaborate and heavily designed just like all those other "professional" sites out there, just use this link for a preview of exciting, vibrant 1990s design! (NB, vomit warning!)

Why do you use the <BLINK> tag?

Hey, if you have a graphical browser, then it's your own fault that it even shows up. You can use this button to get rid of the blinking.

About the site (how)

Most of the pages here are filtered thru a perl program, parse.cgi.

Parse.cgi parses a pages in a "custom" format (.par files) into the html the browser sees. Among other features, parse.cgi permits random/ client-dependent/ cookie-dependent text substitutions on the fly, footnotes and easy indexing.

Before you say "that's so stupid, why make another language instead of html", read this. Besides, it basically is html, but with certain enhancements. (Think of it as preprocessor-enabled-html).

You can also see a listing of parse.cgi to get a general feel for the programming sloppiness.. if you're curious about the other maintenance/utility programs in the "suite" after experiencing that horror, well, email me I suppose.

If you're into buzz words I suppose it's DHTML, but in a pretty sick, anachronistic way.


Could reading these pages get you into trouble? Here's some relief. Print this out, cut it out, and fill in your name on the dotted line. Keep in your wallet for easy reference.

Privacy Statement

Information I collect

I will attempt to collect e-mail addresses, IP addresses, time stamps, encryption keys, cookie jar states and other browser information (including lists of previously visited porn sites), shoe sizes, home and business addresses and phone numbers, medical records, financial information, credit card- and bank account numbers, embarrasing sexual secrets, and other useful information from visitors to my web pages.

How this information is used

The information I collect may be used to enhance the user experience on my web site; to contact and annoy visitors for marketing purposes; to contact and annoy visitors for no particular purpose at all; to attempt to interfer with the visitor's computer and corrupt and destroy data; to interfere with, and to create random havoc in, the visitors personal life for the purposes of my personal amusement; and to enhance the balance of my bank account in any way I see fit. In the case of anyone sending e-mail to me directly, I reserve the right to sell their e-mail addresses, their actual e-mails, and any information derived therefrom, to anyone, as I see fit. If no one wants to pay, I may eventually release it into the public domain under terms equivalent to the GNU Public License, and make it available to the public public for free.

How to notify me regarding your privacy

If you want to notify me regarding your privacy, or if you have other questions or comments, please let me know by sending e-mail to me at the e-mail address shown below. Please tell me of any concerns you may have and make sure to include a valid credit card number and expiration date (for purposes including but not limited to verification of your identity). I may take reasonable steps to ensure an actual possibility of addressing your concerns, such steps possibly including scanning the headers of, or time permitting actually reading, your e-mail. The contact email address shall be at jens@panix.com. Your concerns are very important to me, so please put the EXACT words "delete this immediately after checking for CC#" in the subject line, so that me or my mail filters may identify your e-mail correctly for special attention. Thank you!

Page updated Sep 13, 2002 at 21:40 Email: jens@panix.com

All content copyright © Jens Johansson 2024. No unathorized duplication, copying, mirroring, archival, or redistribution/retransmission allowed! Any offensively categorical statements passed off as facts herein should only be construed as my very opinionated opinions.