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Home, sweet Homepage



Today's random quote:

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe?

Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHECK'S, or: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ITEM'S. Another important grammar concept to bear in mind when creating hand-lettered small-business signs is that you should put quotation marks around random words for decoration, as in "TRY" OUR HOT DOG'S, or even TRY "OUR" HOT DOG'S.

— Dave Barry, "Tips for Writer's"

News flash

(Nov 2005 / No News) I'm sitting in the dressing room in Pamplona and Lauri was heckling me for never updating my homepage. So there!

View log of previous news flashes

About ME

Welcome! First, I'm going to boldly assume that by having a peek at this page, you are interested in finding out about me. So here are the FAQ's, just the FAQ's.

Who the hell am I anyway? A human being, measuring roughly 1.80 meters (vertically), and weighing roughly 75 kilograms. (As of 1999 — I expect the former number to go down, and the latter to go up, as the years spent alive continue to accrue) I was born in the evening of Nov 2, 1963 (presently making me exactly 1905421055 seconds (or 60.420505 years) old) in a suburb a bit northwest of Stockholm, Sweden. Not too surprisingly, my parents were humans as well. I still have my Swedish passport. Here's the story of my formative years. I've also typed in a turgid and confused treatise on my life philosophy, for (what I will have to assume will be) your absolutely and totally immense gratification, edification and electrification. Not to mention mental ossification. If you're curious about what I read and watch, or what music I enjoy or have enjoyed listened to, well, look no further than the links contained on this humble web page!

What do I do? Play, produce and compose music, mainly. If you want to read a bunch of bullshit about playing, producing and composing music, go here. I've also put up a few interviews and some press clips that you can check out. Anyway, I played keyboards with a few semi-famous bands in the 80s and 90s, which, speaking in a statistical sense of course, is probably one of the underlying causes behind you visiting this site in the first place. It's all connected, man!! I've played on a lot of records over the years. The styles of music on these records have roughly spanned from avant-garde mathematical-progressive coffee punk to melodic metal influenced by the high baroque. I release records under my own name now and then, and I'am also presently a member of the progressive power metal group Stratovarius. I've been involved with the business end of the Swedish startup indie Heptagon for 31 years now. The only hobby I have (if you can call it that) is working with computer stuff. I know, pretty pathetic. But I guess I enjoy my "day job" so much I don't have time for much of hobbies!

OK, so what are some of the records how can I get them? I've made a fair amount of progress on the discography.. but stay tuned for more updates to this page, sometime within the next 10 years.

Are there any pictures or soundfiles? Sure! Here is the newest photo gallery. And the Heptagon site has two (above mentioned) photo galleries, the classic gallery (lots of old Rising Force pictures) and the auxillary gallery, with Stratovarius (and some other) pictures from the Summer of 1998. There's also a few pix at the old photo gallery. There are also soundfiles galore at the Heptagon site. I plan to make more stuff available in the future. (But then I "planned" to update this site for many years!!)

Anyway, maybe the mp3's of some of the stuff I played on are of interest;

Like I said, more info about these particular records can be found at the Heptagon products page.

Here's a list of search engine lists: internet search links for 'jens_johansson'.

How can you contact me? Well, email sort of works. If you just want to share your joy with the world that you found this site, you could try the graffiti page — this page was also part of the old site and is one of the things that perhaps will remain. (Use this link to actually see the graffiti page.)

What is the answer to any of these other miscellaneous FAQs? Do I smoke on stage? What happened to the Andy West overdubs? What happened to the old home page? (It has met its maker. It has ceased to be. But not quite yet) Is Yngwie a really nice person? Etc. Well, if any of these have kept you up at night, look no further than this list of other weird faq's.

Do I have anything else I'd like to share? Such as links, files or software? YES!


Page updated Sep 6, 2003 at 22:54 • Email: jens@panix.com

All content copyright © Jens Johansson 2024. No unathorized duplication, copying, mirroring, pilfering, archival, or redistribution/retransmission allowed! Any offensively categorical statements passed off as facts herein should only be construed as my very opinionated opinions.