Mothering Sunday


Guess what? I snore...


14 March 1999: Mothering Sunday

This crack of dawn business is getting tiresome. After a quick breakie of tea and toast A and I toodled off to Mcr. and I jumped aboard the early train to London. I was knackered and fell asleep very fitfully sitting up. Whenever I fall asleep on my back I snore and snark and wake up with a start and the jerk of my head. It's not pleasant for anyone, except a fractious couple who sat in the seat ahead of me and stopped fighting long enough to make fun of me while I was asleep. I yawned when we arrived in London and she exclaimed, "You cannot still be tired."

Bitch.

I walked from Euston to the Kings Cross Thameslink station, passing the enormous hotel that fronts the St. Pancras station, and the larger Kings Cross Station I arrived in from Edinburgh last year. I also passed the big new British Library.

I got onto the first northbound Thameslink train and repeated my classic mistake of getting onto the first train without looking. I do this every visit. Everything is fine until West Hampstead, and Mill Hill, Hendon, Elstree-Borehamwood, and Radlett go flying by, and I wind up waiting 20 minutes for a southbound local at the St. Alban's stop.

I wound up in Borehamwood on time anyway, and visited with my cousins. Their son, Daniel, who I mentioned in my essay The Scarecrow Planted in My Heart, is one of the reasons I came out to all of them. Well, to the older-than-21 set. He and his brother were at a birthday party up the street and I chatted with N and N. They keep kosher and keeping kosher is not as easy in London as it is in New York. They don't have the guarantee of the O-U, K, or other symbols we have on all the food here. They have a book that lists foods by categories, and tells you which brands are kosher. N said, "Look up I-C-E-L-O-L-L-I-E-S." I was initially thrown by the term, and quickly remembered that that was the term for popsicle. It was used in Dudley Moore movie in which he meets the devil (Peter Cook). To prove he's the devil, he asks Dudley to wish for something. He wishes for an ice lolly. He doesn't believe he's the devil until he melts it with a touch.

"You melted my ice lolly! You are the Devil!"

"Incarnate!"

Daniel is the scene-stealer, so I had to make sure to cater a bit to Max so he doesn't develop a complex in later life. Daniel allowed me to carry him to the van, since he had no wellies on yet. He asked me "Are you married?" Again with the questions. Last visit he asked me "Have you any children?" and later, "Why NOT!?" These questions made me feel worse about going three visits without coming out to my newfound cousins there.

We went to Aldenham, which features a large pond of feedable ducks, geese, and swans, and a farm of rare breeds of pigs, lambs, goats, and cattle. You can feed some of them. A lot of families were out and about. The sun hung over the park like a hazy dime. Daniel is fascinated with dogs and stopped everyone who had one. He would ask three questions: The dogs name, breed and age. He really irritated a pair of Village of the Damned blond boys as Daniel admonished the dog for being a mongrel. He also lectured the poor beast: "You mustn't run about!"

After a little time back home, I had to move on. I said goodbye to Max while he was in the tub. Max didn't understand the word "tub," as they use "bath" all the time. He also seemed amused by my particularly New York accent on the word "banana."

Off to Hendon to meet with the Bedlam bunch. M is N's sister and he is the father of a 13-year-old son and three children under five years old. Hence, Bedlam. We had dinner together. My cousins in Bedlam are ger chassids and glatt kosher. I feel like traif just being there. But as I related earlier, they are very accepting. It's good to have my own assumptions challenged and know that just because someone's from a conservative religious group it doesn't mean they are narrowminded bigots. It's certainly rare, but a good challenge.

Mothers' day is not the family day in the UK it is in the US, and even less so for British Jews, possibly because it's tied to the Easter cycle. But I was glad to be with family for a day nonetheless. This is the first visit since my overly dramatic written coming out to them. Not that the issue came up. I suppose it's slightly "don't ask don't tell," but it's out there now, and that's the main thing.

We had a delightful rainbow trout dinner and I juggled various small cousins on my knee. M gave me a ride back to Willesden Green. Danny and Susie watched the X Files live. I finished reading Truth Serum later that night.

Posted: Sun - March 14, 1999 at 02:06 AM        

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