31 October 1998: All Chickens' Eve

True to my nature, I avoided Hallowe'en. I stayed above 68th Street the entire day. I tend to keep away from most things Hallowe'en. I don't like it. I just don't like it at all. But the grassroots protest group was marching as a contingent of about 400 strong down at the 25th Annual Greenwich Village Hallowe'en Parade. Meanwhile, previous to this action, the group had some mass email that was already showing signs of fractiousness the likes of which killed Queer Nation. Arguments over the use of the word "queer" in the flyers were rife. The language in the flyer, "rage" and "fight", while reflective of the mood, sets a tone that goes counter to what I think is needed--education, building alliances, and reaching out.

Part of me felt a little guilty about not being there. But it seemed a lot more confrontational than I would prefer, and unfocused as well. Demonstrating in front of D'Amato's office makes sense. Invading a traditionally fun event did not. To advocate loudly about our civil rights is great, but would the New Jersey tourists who come in for the parade really get the message, or just thing, "Wow! Homosexuals! Isn't New York something else?"

Well, after a day or walking around the Upper West Side, I took the bus home. I was pulled into a Guaranteed Overheard Conversation by two people on the bus. A man and a woman were discussing some mutual friends from grade school. It seems the man was shocked to discover that his junior high school girlfriend is a lesbian.

He seemed really shocked and dismayed, whereas she said that the new facts made sense of all the odd dynamics and hostility this woman emanated way back, and no longer does. We got to talking a little bit, but the conversation was mainly between them. He's a casting director and I said to him, "You surely must know gay people in your line of work. And of course he does, and is "okay with it." But the idea that someone he once kissed was a lesbian, and that he couldn't tell (mind you this was more than a decade ago), bothered him. Sounded like a little male pride bruised.

Meanwhile, the woman, who's about 27, said to me, "I'm dating a 19-year-old, what do you think of that?" I told her she was the smartest woman on the bus, but the trick would be to keep him 19 forever while she got older, maker her smarter with each passing year. She didn't quite get my sense of humor.

The missed opportunity here was for me to horn in, come out to them, and make them think about it a little more. But with my bus stop coming up and the circumstances, I didn't. But I ought to have. That seemed like a more opportune moment for me to do something than to be downtown, risking possible arrest for simply exercising my First Amendment rights. If I am going to get arrested, I would like it to be for being willfully disobedient or taking a swing at someone, not for simply being there.

The good news is that no one was arrested or harassed at the parade, which was billed as having 2 million spectators (I find that hard to believe). There were a lot of police, but no incidents, according to both the media and people who were there.

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