There are no sun-signs, no humor, no journal. I leave only the following here. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- June 18, 2009 - I must explain an important point which might only be applicable to a tiny percentage of individuals but, in the rare case that such a one may come across this page, it is imperative that I offer what I have learned from various first-hand sources and experiences. Some very few individuals will experience horrendous lifetimes, filled with victimization. Victims often have certain vulnerabilities - weaknesses - which draw predators (victimizers). Often, the lifetime of a designated victim begins with severe abuse for all the years of childhood. The early environment is sick, and there is no family or support structure upon which the designated victim can fall back on in times of emotional (or any) need. The designated victim often goes on to a lifetime of therapies, whereas other members of the sick early environment have not. So, their reaction to the victim's strange plights of difficult-to-believe victimizations will mimic the dynamic of the early environment - emotional abuse, raging, screaming, blaming the victim, etc. Unfortunately, no matter how much the victim may love these others, it becomes necessary to 'divorce' them, entirely, and the victim usually gets to the point when s/he knows the time to bid them farewell from hir life. It's usually at a time of major crisis for the victim, worsened by the abuse and disbelief of the others, and all the love in the victim's heart can't hold hir to a situation that has absolutely peaked, and the victim knows the situation with them will never change. After or during the horrors of the childhood experience, the victim may have the development of mental illnesses. (Once a victim develops but, in ways, even worse, is *labeled* with a mental illness, hir credibility is shot, even moreso as hir vulnerability increases.) These draw predators like a magnet, because the predators will deflect blame by blaming, labeling, and discrediting the victim. The predators get a "free pass" with designated victims who have any sort of mental illness which makes the victim stigmatized and disbelieved. So, there is a nightmare experience of victimization wherein the victim is victimized in very sick ways, then disbelieved, raged at, and emotionally neglected and abused, by the early environment others, etc. Sometimes, the suffering can be alleviated by moving far from the birth place, where a better planet, according to the individual chart, rules the 4th and 7th houses. And I recommend this to any designated victim, because you will still be learning quite a lot - in fact, it will give you the breathing room to learn, and you are really under no obligation to carry more than you want to, if you can escape it. The birth place is generally the worst place for the designated victim to live, because that is where the victimization, abuse, and horror all began, and was predestined, for the purpose of creating the designated victim. If you stay there, or return there, the victimization will follow you and even worsen at various times. I very much recommend using the natal chart, for relocation far away, to find any better planets which could rule the 4th and 7th houses, because no one should have to suffer more than they can bear and end up 'giving up' at too young an age. Life will hopefully give you some breathing space if only you can move to a better location for yourself. Far from the birth place, in a better place, some progress can be made in self-understanding, especially by the study of astrology, and by the examination of the life experiences, grieving for them, and separating from the victimizers of the childhood experiences, sometimes with the help of a good and compassionate psychotherapist, or psychoanalyst. But it just isn't always possible to "cure" or treat certain mental illnesses (and I do recommend staying away from psychiatrists if at all possible), so a lot of vulnerabilities will remain. The therapy that should be the mainstream default is the method developed by Wilhelm Reich, which releases emotion stored in the body's musculature. Dr. Reich became so stigmatized (and was jailed, here in the U.S., and his books banned), due to other more controversial, but some other possibly brilliant concepts and ideas, that certain therapists took his basic method and called it "bio-energetics", but I'm unsure if it's the same method as Dr. Reich's. Out of all the therapies of my own lifetime of therapies, it was the only one that brought past emotional damage out of the intellect and into reality, so that some of it could be released and truly understood. I wish I'd been able to have years of it. When you consider the close relationship between mind and body, it is not hard to understand that the body will store emotional pain, just as the mind will store memories. This is, in fact, visible on the faces of most people. Their facial musculature is quite mask-like due to the tension in the muscles. When the tension is forced out of the various muscle groups (not just the face), it is almost miraculous how much change one feels. The intellectuallization of emotion common in talk therapy, which really doesn't work, turns instead, with Dr. Reich's method, into a visceral realization, and *release* of the emotional pain, stored up since the abuse first began. I very much wish that it were mandatory for every human being past the age of 18 to have this method of therapy. There would be a great deal less cruelty in the world, except that many individuals are born to be sociopaths and psychopaths (again, for a metaphysical reason, which doesn't mean they don't eventually suffer the consequences). Chances are, if you are a designated victim, you were given almost super powers by way of inner strength and endurance. Also, you will probably never stop asking yourself why the victimization does not stop, and whether you deserved it, and why you deserved it. Well, you never deserved it, if you have come to understand your own soul, and finally realize you never deserved it. And you're wondering, "how do I understand my soul?" I don't want to be like a Liz Greene book which is full of interesting concepts, but nothing you can actually use, so I'll explain some of the ways I did it for myself: So, here are some tips: What is your very first memory? Think way, way back. And, art therapy may be a useful way to complement the first memory description of yourself. That first memory needs to describe to you something about yourself; it can't just be something like "I remember having Chicken Pox." It must be more along the lines of a first emotion or inner knowledge about yourself. Normally, I think art therapy is 'BS' but, if you aren't involved in the arts, it might be useful for you. In my own case, I found that my first memory, combined with listening to my songs, my various musical tastes, my taste in art and poetry (talk about horror (my horror movie section below, because I've been talking about movies for a few months now), Picasso comes to mind...), literature, etc., did reveal my soul to me and it was not at all a bad thing - in fact, it was, and is, a joyful thing. If you do any of this when you're too young, you will almost always get a wrong impression. When young, you will likely be consumed by anger over the life you've had, and the limitations imposed upon you due to your damage. Anger and rage completely cloud what's real about you underneath it. It is necessary to have lived long enough, until all that rage is burned away, for these methods to work. Maybe, for young people, there are other ways to understand the soul, but so far, this is all I know about how to do it (meditation may also help). Your chart will describe you, and much of your fate, but it won't tell you your soul age (which denotes much of its quality). Usually, older souls sign up (yes, you did it willingly!) to be a designated victim. The reason you signed up to be a designated victim is that you are serving a very special purpose. If you will survive as long as you can, you are doing amazing and important work, even if your worldly life is/was an abject failure. You probably assumed, before attaining an understanding of your soul, that your suffering is the result of "bad karma". No. "Bad karma" is being born an AIDS orphan in Africa, or anything comparable in the very impoverished areas of this world. That sort of life is generally short, which is far more merciful than being a designated victim (except that those souls probably have a lot of those sorts of "bad karma" lifetimes). Do you remember Jesus teaching his followers to "turn the other cheek"? Do you know why he taught that? It is all part and parcel of the work you are doing. You are a "lathe of heaven", which is the title of a very interesting science fiction book, but really only that title applies directly to you. What you are doing is helping young souls to evolve. Young souls are pretty much the people who break the laws of man and metaphysics. When they victimize you - because it is ALWAYS young souls who *intentionally* victimize - they will have to experience, from YOUR perspective, in 'living color' so to speak, with every attendant misery, the suffering they caused you. If you "turn the other cheek" now, think how much better they will learn their lesson. They will get an experience of "hell", during the Judgment of their Life Review, that will agonize them as horribly as they agonized you, and help grow their souls (because in this life, as they torment you, they don't have much of a soul at all; I mean, no soul yet possessed of wisdom and compassion). Then, they will have "bad karma", which they will come back here, to earth, to suffer, as many times as needed. We are all here for a reason. There is no such thing as a life without meaning. So, if you are a designated victim, please try to survive, forsaking vengeance, except for standing up for your rights, as long as you possibly can. You are doing more for humanity than most Nobel Prize winners, and I guarantee that when your sentence here is finished, there will be an ovation for you, a celebration of you, that will be heard clear throughout the universe. If you find, after a great many decades of victimization horror, that you just don't have the strength to continue, and you have had many chronic physical illnesses develop which make it all verily impossible for you, well, it is your right to retire (and I don't think there are any penalties for a slightly early retirement, if that's what you really MUST do, and if you are at all worried about that). But I hope you will have the strength to carry on your very important work here. I love you so very much, Gail --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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I wish you peace, good fortune, and, of course, good health.
Gail |
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| All Rights Reserved; Gail Sandra Klein | ||