Mood: Sad.
Music: None.
Game: World of Warcraft, Planetside, Dungeon Siege II.
Book: The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand.
Muffin: None.
Earlier, I wrote about changes...and changes are good. That you need to learn to deal with changes.
Last night, my mother decided to put her cat, Milo, to sleep. Milo is an old cat...a very old cat, really, and he hasn't been doing well. With my mother moving next week to Florida, she didn't feel he would handle being moved around so much, and.... Forget the reasons. It's not important. They were all very rational reasons, and I was slated to take Milo on Saturday, and hold on to him for my mother...except last night, she phoned the vet and today, in a little while, Milo will go to sleep.
Now, I should point out clearly that I don't particularly care for pets. And it's not because I don't love them, or enjoy playing with them, or anything like that...it's strictly because I have a very, VERY hard time dealing with transience. Pets die. They just do. And when they do, a little bit of you goes, too. I've been through it. It sucks...and rather than feel that pain, I try to avoid the whole scenario. I manage to fail at this...but I do try.
Well, in spite of the fact that it's not my cat, I am pretty torn up about it. It hurts. It hurts moreso because my mother is completely beside herself about it.
When my mother moved to NYC, she was very alone and lonely, and so she got Milo from someone who was going to put him in a shelter. And he's been a great cat...very quiet, not at all destructive, just kind of a slow, relaxed cat. And my mother had something to take care of...and it made her all OK. The fact that my mother will be losing this tie makes me very, very upset. Seeing my mother this upset upsets me as well. And of course, the entire symbolism of it is pretty painful, too.
Sometimes, changes mean having to let go of things to go on to other things. Sometimes, letting go of things really, really hurts.
Posted by Glenn at September 22, 2005 10:04 AMThe story about Milo broke my heart. I think about Michia and Kitee all the time--they are now 11 & 9 and I don't know how I will ever be able to deal with the inevitable when it comes.
Remember that the love they bring while they are in your life never goes away. That quote about 'better to love and lost than never love at all'...i think it's true. All that energy and love is not lost. Same goes for people...we are all transient.
Sometimes I think death is a reminder to love the living as much as you can.
Posted by: Notarile at September 23, 2005 10:14 AMAs a pet owner, the inevitable day that will come is something that I do not look forward to. I am not an emotional person but I'm sure those days will be hard.
Sorry buddy. :(
Posted by: Firethorn at September 23, 2005 05:20 PM