home   sections   references   cd:s   about   links   heptagon 
 no margins   view as black text on white background 


Fortune cookies

Fortune cookies

Rather than you loading the server by requesting the index page over and over just so you by chance can see different random quotes, here's a page where you can see three at a time..



Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday




A reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

— Monty Python, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"




Board the windows, up your car insurance, and don't leave any booze in plain sight. It's St. Patrick's day in Chicago again. The legend has it that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. In fact, he was arrested for drunk driving. The snakes left because people kept throwing up on them.


By the way, many of the quotes are from the unix fortune file (heavily culled to only include my absolute favorites). Some are from Usenet, some are from email, and other are simply from the real world.


Page updated Sep 10, 1999 at 11:19 Email: jens@panix.com

All content copyright © Jens Johansson 2018. No unathorized duplication, copying, mirroring, pilllaging, archival, or redistribution/retransmission allowed! Any offensively categorical statements passed off as facts herein should only be construed as my very opinionated opinions.