Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence
Tip #1: How to tell when you are dead.
(1) Little things start bothering you: little things like worms, bugs, ants.
(2) Something is missing in your personal relationships.
(3) Your dog becomes overly affectionate.
(4) You have a hard time getting a waiter.
(5) Exotic birds flock around you.
(6) People ignore you at parties.
(7) You have a hard time getting up in the morning.
(8) You no longer get off on cocaine.
Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
The only difference between theory and practice is that in theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is.
By the way, many of the quotes are from the unix fortune file (heavily culled to only include my absolute favorites). Some are from Usenet, some are from email, and other are simply from the real world.