| 4/1 | potential lawsuits |
| 4/1 | pranks |
| 4/1 | Smurfs |
| 4/2 | split ends |
| 4/3 | rubber duckies |
| 4/4 | clones |
| 4/5 | clowns |
| 4/6 | Flavor crystals |
| 4/7 | tips |
| 4/8 | kilobytes of spam |
| 4/9 | chocolate covered angst bars |
| 4/10 | matzo balls |
| 4/11 | marshmallow feeps |
| 4/12 | chocolate bunnies without ears |
| 4/13 | lead bricks |
| 4/14 | nanofoxes |
| 4/15 | last minute tax returns |
| 4/16 | Altoids |
| 4/17 | powerful cheeses |
| 4/18 | get out of jail free cards |
| 4/19 | slime molds |
| 4/20 | germs |
| 4/21 | nuclear weasels |
| 4/22 | toenail clippings |
| 4/23 | wooden nickles |
| 4/24 | souls |
| 4/25 | neutrinos |
| 4/27 | shreds of decency |
| 4/28 | meatballs |
| 4/29 | stale marshmallow feeps |
| 4/30 | love slaves |