Tag: Fashion

Clearly, We Are in a Post-Racial Society

While walking down the street in Beverly Hills, a Black senior Versace executive was stopped and searched by police:

This is the rule, not an exception.

A black Versace executive says he was racially profiled close to the Beverly Hills branch of the Italian luxury fashion brand.

Salehe Bembury, the vice-president of sneakers and men’s footwear at Versace, was stopped and searched for jaywalking in Rodeo Drive, near Camden Drive and Wilshire Boulevard.

“What’s unfortunate is I literally designed the shoes that are in the bag and I’m f%$#ing being searched for them,” Bembury appears telling police officers in a video of the incident.

(%$# mine)

First, “VP of sneakers?”  That’s just kind of weird. 

Second, if you think that there is no more racism in the United States, you are either an egregious racist, or you are brain dead.

Clearly, We are Preparing to Invade Endor

Smart call on the Space Force camouflage.

Never know when you’re gonna have to blend into a space jungle or hide behind a space bush.


— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) January 18, 2020

I know this is hard to understand, but on the left there is a picture of camouflage and on the right there is a picture of space. Study these carefully until you can see the difference. pic.twitter.com/7HhAeHRyrm

— JRehling (@JRehling) January 18, 2020

Now we’re talking. Let’s get that sweet military contract. Do you want to underbid me this time? Or shall I underbid you? #spacefarce pic.twitter.com/7i3dQnlhsk

— HartbrakебляMcCarthy (@BumpItMcCarthy) January 18, 2020

ShopBop has been hired to design the new #SpaceForceCamo uniforms. A sneak peak: pic.twitter.com/oOnl8jmiCU

— Ken Smith (@KenSmith) January 18, 2020

This would explain why the newly constituted US Space Force will have a camouflage uniform.

The alternative, that they have discovered space jungles, is too absurd to consider.

Needless to say, Twitter is going insane over this:

The U.S. Space Force on Friday offered a first look at its utility uniforms with its service name tape, unleashing a torrent of mockery over the decision to use a camouflage pattern for a military branch associated with the dark endlessness of the universe.

“Space Force” soon began trending on Twitter — mostly not because of excitement about the uniform.

“Smart call on the Space Force camouflage,” one Twitter user wrote. “Never know when you’re gonna have to blend into a space jungle or hide behind a space bush.”

“I’m dressed better for Space Force than this and I’m wearing $10 leggings from Target,” said one woman, who shared a photo of leggings with images of cats floating in space.

Another person posted a picture of a camouflage pattern next to a completely black box. “Study these carefully until you can see the difference,” he wrote in response to the Space Force.

The reality, as it usually is, is actually a bit more prosaic.

Their new uniform is, except for the various badges, reuses the existing camouflage uniforms, because, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Why spend all that money on a new uniform?

Then again, why spend all that money on standing up the cockamamie idea of a Space Force in the first place?

Ivanka’s Two Cones of Shame

Ivanka is such a disgrace she has to wear TWO cones of shame. pic.twitter.com/ug3SnJcoPN

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 4, 2019

It’s an “Up” Reference

Ivanka Trump went to Columbia and had a wardrobe malfunction caused by the forces of nature.

This warning should be taken seriously:

Ivanka wanted to wear something that would show off her toned biceps and shoulders. The wind had other ideas.

That’s a $1650 dress, by the way.

The elements are conspiring against you.

Time to go.

I Have Been Tying My Shoes Wrong for Over 50 Years

Bunny Ears Method

Around tree method

When I was 3 or 4, I’m not sure of the exact age, but I was in Juneau, Alaska before I started school, so it was 1965 or 1966 when I learned to tie my shoes.

I learned to tie my shoes using the “Bunny Ears” method, and started to work on the, “Chasing the bunny around the tree,” method, but being a clever lad, I realized that the knots were the same,
At that point, I started looking at tying my shoes with the  “Squirrel and Tree” method where you make one loop and push the final loop through, but I gave up when I realized shortly after I realized that they created the same knot.

But my shoes kept getting untied.

Well, I just figured out what was going on.

Bows are tied in a, “double knot,” and there are two forms double knot, the square (reef ) knot, and the granny knot.

The difference is that in the former, it is over-under or under-over, and in the latter it is over-over or under-under.

If you naturally lead with one hand, and I do, then the, “Chase around the tree,” method naturally produces a square knot, while the, “Bunny ears,” method naturally produces a granny knot.

I was doing a granny knot, so my shoes were constantly coming untied.

I am still doing bunny ears, but now I am consciously doing under-over, and my shoes are staying tied.

Two clever by half, and it only screwed me up for 50 years.

All for Reform, Unless It Costs Them Money

Following the collapse of a textile factory in Bangladesh in 2013  German fashion companies created and agreed to follow a code of conduct to prevent future disasters. 

Now that these protocols are starting to have an effect, they are bailing out of the program as fast as they can:

When a factory collapse in Bangladesh claimed the lives of hundreds of textile workers in 2013, German retailers were quick to express the need to improve working conditions in Asian sweatshops. But five years on it seems they’re much less keen to actually do anything about it.

An alliance of retailers formed in 2014 with the aim of tackling the problem is crumbling fast. In 2016, there were nearly 200 members; now it is 130. This year alone, 25 retailers either quit or were thrown out for not honoring their commitments to report on improvements made in their supply chain.

There’s a simple reason why companies are jumping ship. Talk is cheap, and the alliance is now trying to move from words to action.

Previously, members showed to what extent they met their goals in the previous year and formulated new ones. Now, they are expected to publish these so-called roadmaps in August, opening them to independent auditors who will scrutinize the submitted documents and ask tough questions. For the first time, the retailers will be measured by their achievements.

But now the alliance’s management team would consider it a success if just 30 companies published their plans.

As I have noted before, “Self-regulation is to regulation as self-importance is to importance.”

Women and Makeup

Without Makeup

Her traditional look

It appears tahat Christina Aguilera has gone makeup free for a magazine shoot, and the internet appears to be having a full freakout mode paroxysm oiver it.

I think that she looks much better that way.

In fact, I think that women generally look better with less makeup, something that I say not infrequently to Sharon*.

I am not alone, nor am I even in the minority, in this opinion.

I’m not sure who it is who has been telling women that they need to spend hours on makeup, but they are full of crap.

Save the time, save the money, and save the aggravation, and try to be comfortable with how you look.

Also, the freckles are just so f%$#ing adorable, and with all the makeup, you cannot see them.

Women, here is an insight into men:  When they say that you do not need makeup, most men, most of the time, are telling the truth.


*Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.

Lame Major Political Party of the Day

The Democratic Party, of course, because the Republicans are not lame, they are f%$#ing terrifying and insane.

There are lamer parties out there among the small fry **cough** Prohibition Party  **cough**, but they really don’t count, because ……… Well, because.

the democrats sent out a cyber monday email trying to get people to buy a t-shirt of the word “democrat” fading into nothing pic.twitter.com/mERoLzSsIM

— 𝕒𝕕𝕒𝕞 🌹☭ (@adamkshuck) November 27, 2017

Brought to you by the guys who gave us the most expensive House of Representatives race ever, to the tune of more than $30 million for which they had a candidate who was determined to stand for nothing.

Seriously. Why to these folks have jobs, and who the hell is wasting their money on their salaries?

Death Wears Fuzzy Bunny Slippers

It turns out that while waiting for the literal end of the world, nuclear crews spend a lot of time waiting ……… and waiting ……… and waiting ……… and waiting ……… and waiting.

Two guys a hundred feet underground for 24+ hours waiting for the call that they hope never comes.

One is watching the dials, and the other one gets comfortable and relaxed so that they will be sharp when his turn comes to watch the dials.

Snuggies and fuzzy bunny slippers are a not infrequent part of the latter regime, hence the most awesome unit patch ever.

The Stupid, It Just Never Ends

It appears that Donald Trump has decided not to make John Bolton Assistant Secretary of State.

It appears that he did not get the job because the Donald does not like facial, and the American Mustache Institute is pissed off:

The American Mustache Institute is bristling at President-elect Donald Trump’s reported prejudice against facial hair.

Addressing allegations that former United Nations ambassador John Bolton was passed over for secretary of state because of his mustache, the AMI staff banded together to defend one of their own and denounce the rumored act of discrimination. After referencing Trump’s long history of superficial statements — from his hosting of “The Apprentice” to his misogynistic comments about former pageant queen Alicia Machado — the AMI let things get hairy.

“The paradox, of course, is that Mr. Trump’s orange face and spaghetti squash mane would, theoretically through his own Clark Gable paradigm — who ironically had a mustache — would make Mr. Trump himself unfit to serve in a position of leadership,” the AMI staff wrote. “But beyond the esthetic and ongoing pattern of his embrace of an alt-right-like discrimination, the Mustached American community is deeply troubled by a new administration erecting yet another obstacle towards a level playing field for people of Mustached American heritage.”

The AMI added that “our quarrel is not political as we are a non-partisan institution of learning, thought and facial hair militancy.”

I honestly cannot tell the difference between reality and parody any more, but I think that this is real, only it sounds like a parody.

We live in Bizarro world.

Well Trolled

The Clinton Campaign is now offering tin foil hats with a rump theme:

Hillary Clinton’s campaign is mocking Donald Trump with do-it-yourself tin foil hats.
Cinton’s campaign website features a promotional brochure for a “Trump Tin Foil Hat.” The brochure ridicules the Republican nominee for his “conspiracies” and shares instructions to help supporters create their own “Make America Great Again” foil hats.

“In fact if we elect Donald Trump, we could have a president dedicated to the truth: where is Elvis? Where did we film the moon landing?” the brochure reads.

Grab your tinfoil hat and buckle up—it doesn’t look like Donald Trump will stop peddling conspiracies any time soon. https://t.co/PrwQ5jXQPq pic.twitter.com/iAzZMPbf7I

— The Briefing (@TheBriefing2016) October 25, 2016

Whoever did this deserves a promotion.