My analysis: There were a number of times where Sanders could have gone after Biden harder, and he didn’t. Not a good night for Sanders. He needed to go for the jugular.

9:57 Biden’s closing is strong, showing a lot of empathy. Makes the point that Donald Trump is the biggest threat.

9:55 Closing message about Coronavirus. Sanders notes that our current system makes it worth.

9:49 Ad break.

9:47 Dana Bash is horrible. She has not asked a single question that is not about electioneering. There are actual issues, and focusing exclusively on horse-race electoral questions is journalist malpractice.

9:46 Biden is claiming that he knows who the good guys are and who the bad guys are. This is a succinct description of every American foreign policy failure over the past 50 years. Choosing who deserves to win in some other country is a font of failure.

9:44 Sanders notes that EVERYONE knew that Bush was a liar, and that Biden also supported horrible trade agreements and the like.

9:42 Biden questioned on Iraq war vote. He says that his vote for the invasion was because he was lied to by the President, who said that there would be no invasion, just a UN resolution. That makes Biden an idiot or a liar.

9:40 Sanders notes that stating reality is a requirement dealing with the world.

9:38 Biden questioned on Obama’s similar statements on the Cuban education system. He tries to imply that Sanders’ comments were beyond the pale.

9:36 Sanders questioned on his statements on Cuba, specifically in terms of Florida voters. Sanders notes that observing objective facts is not support for a dictatorship.

9:30 Ad break.

9:29 Sanders quizzed on how to reduce greenhouse gas emissions without fracked natural gas. Sanders response is that he is calling for a Manhattan Project level of investment. He should have said that leaks from fracking mean that the Tapper’s assumption is not certain.

9:26 Sanders notes that the Paris accords are insufficient, and that the US needs to further and to, the maximum degree possible, apply pressure overseas as well.

9:25 I expect a walk back, but Biden just said that he would ban ALL drilling in the United states.

9:24 Bernie says that fighting anthropogenic climate change is a war, and that big oil has been lying for years. Wants them to be held CRIMINALLY accountable. (Good point)

9:23 I know what Biden is trying to say, but he needs to watch Schoolhouse Rock, because he is completely leaving out conjunctions about his policy. (Not mental decline, he’s always talked this way)

9:21 Biden notes that the Pentagon briefed him and Obama on the threats of climate change.

9:20 Climate change, Jake Tapper asking about to handle health consequences (tropical diseases, etc.). Sanders response is that this is real existential threat, not just diseases. He wants to end fracking and tax breaks to big oil.

9:19 We are in the middle of a love fest on immigration.

9:17 Both of them come out unequivocally against local police transferring illegals to ICE.

9:15 Biden notes (correctly) that a part of Sanders opposition was his publicly stated concerns about immigration being used to drive down wages.

9:13 Sanders explains his vote against the 2007 immigration bill, and notes taht LULAC opposed the bill, and that the SPLC said that the guest worker bills were, “Akin to slavery.”

9:11 Calderón asks Biden about Obama’s immigration policies. (Deporter in chief) Biden comes as close as he ever has to criticizing Obama. Promises only to deport felons.

9:10 Sanders says, “Probably” for a woman VP pick.

9:09 Challenged by Bernie, Biden repudiates his votes for the Hyde amendment. Also wants to codify Roe v. Wade into law.

9:06 A question from “Ordinary People”. It’s a question about how he would staff his cabinet to protect women’s issues. It’s actually a highly sophisticated question. Bernie talks policies, which is somewhat orthogonal to the personnel question. Biden promises a black woman for SCOTUS, that his cabinet will “look like America”, and he is promises that his VP pick will be a women. (MAJOR announcement)

9:01 Ad break.

8:59 Sanders says the same. It should be noted that Sanders campaigned for Hillary Clinton in 2016.

8:58 Biden asked about winning over Sanders voters. Biden promised to support and campaign for Sanders should he get the nod.

8:56 Biden brings up Sanders bad history on gun control. He’s right, but unlike Biden, he has publicly repudiated those votes.

8:55 Sanders notes that he voted against the Bankruptcy bill, DOMA, the Iraq War, the Hyde Amendment, etc. and Biden voted for it.

8:53 Sanders makes a point that he has been supporting things like free college tuition, and opposing Biden’s sellout to MBNA with his bankruptcy bill, and that Biden is a late comer. Sanders, is (IMHO weekly) implying that Biden cannot be trusted.

8:51 My wife just turned to me and said, “I understand why you want to be drunk.”

8:48 Biden challenged on his reversal on free state college tuiton. Word salad.

8:46 Joe said that he never did, and then he said, that “Everything was on the Table.” Joe, you just ceded this point.

8:45 Bernie Sanders just called out Joe Biden for calling for Social Security cuts, and then notes that people can see his speeches on the Senate floor on YouTube.

8:41 Sanders (IMHO accurately) says that the problem is asymmetry of power, and it needs to be fixed.

8:38 Blitzer serves up a softball question about Bernie’s call for revolution to Biden. Binden says that he can pass stuff and Bernie can’t. **cough** McConnell **cough**

8:36 Calderón raises Bernie’s heart attack and precautions. Bernie mentions not doing rallies, hand shakes, etc. Asks Biden, and Biden says much the same thing, and makes a funny, when he says, “Knock wood,” and knocks on his head.

8:35 Immigration questions: Very little light between the two of them

8:32 Biden is saying that if we hadn’t bailed out the banks, everyone would have lost their money in banks, because, I guess there is no FDIC. BTW, Jorge Ramos should be asking these questions, but he is under self-quarantine, so the hapless Ilia Calderón is asking the questions. She is awful.

8:30 A rather disingenuous question about how he voted against the bank bailout in an attempt to suggest that his support for help for ordinary people now is hypocritical.

8:29 Biden is doing well. He is on point and coherent.

8:26 Talking about economic effects of pandemic, and once again, Biden is talking about a one time response, Bernie talks about how we got here, and where we go in the future. Biden keeps going back to ¯_(ツ)_/¯ we have to act now, and any consideration of future problems is an unwanted distraction/

8:15 I came in late, but the discussion of COVID-19 is (unsurprisingly) front and center. At least so far, Bernie is making the point that Medicare for All would allow for significant advance planning for a crisis like this, but his point is ignored by the moderators.

8:11 I came to this about 20 minutes in. I had to pick up Nat from rehearsal.

It’s down to 2, and it’s a critical juncture, so I’m doing this sober.

9:07 OK, I’m done. Time to pick up Nat.

9:06 Michael Bloomberg mentions the naked cowboy, a New York City institution.

9:05 Sanders notes that the profit motive is what drives hospitals out of rural areas.

9:04 Pete Buttigieg who systematically excluded blacks from political participation in South Bend, argues for more black political participation. Cognitive dissonance.

9:03 Klobuchar calls free public tuition as a give away to rich kids. F%$# her with Cheney’s dick.

9:01 Steyer just said the truest thing of the evening, that every major policy issue in the United States has a subtext of race. Major Props.

9:00 Biden is asked about helping inequality on race, and he talks about entrepreneurship grants.

8:59 Michael Bloomberg is a self-important pompous ass.

8:57 Klobuchar talks about building coalitions on housing and education, and Charlie says that he wants to go into airplane mode, as in FLYING INTO A BUILDING.

8:56 F%$# me, they are now taking questions from Twitter. Just f%$#ing kill me.

8:55 Buttigieg notes that he is married to a school teacher.

8:54 Sanders largely echoes Warren on this.

8:53 Warren savages charter schools and high stakes testing. Probably got a few teacher votes there.

8:52 Bloomberg gives a full throated defense of charter schools, because of course he does, because Wall Street sees it as a profit center.

8:50 Steyer suggests term limits for Senate, excuse me while I vomit.

8:49 Sanders is just weak on gun control.

8:47 Buttigieg goes after Sanders for not opposing the filibuster. Mayo Pete is right. Kill the filibuster.

8:46 Klobuchar claims that she can get gun control because she is from Minnesota? Whiskey Tango Forxtrot?

8:45 Sanders asked about his votes against gun control, he notes that they were bad votes, and he was wrong. Best possible response.

8:44 Warren notes that the problem is the filibuster.

8:43 Biden claims that he beat the gun manufacturers, notes that there are 150 MILLION gun deaths since the passage of the Brady Bill. Maybe he means 150 thousand?

8:42 Gayle King and Nora O’Donnell are now joined by Margaret Brennan, Major Garrett, and Bill Whitaker.

8:40 OMFG!!!! There is a Mike Bloomberg add!!! Motherf%$#er!

8:38 Advertising break. Walmart ad, f%$# Walmart.

8:37 Warren notes (correctly) that the actual progressive agenda is overwhelmingly popular. Line of the night so far, “We have to choose hope over fear.”

8:36 Bernie notes that he polls better against Trump than anyone else on stage.

8:35 Bloomberg: I may have funded Graham, but I also funded Democrats. Theme of the night for everyone but Warren is, “Bernie is dangerous.”

8:34 Klobuchar speaks, and my son, Charlie, who does not drink, wants my rum. I want my rum.

8:33 Steyer notes that Biden wrote that awful crime bill in the 1990s.

8:31 Biden notes that Steyer bought a horrific private prison.

8:30 Buttigieg talks about how Sanders is a danger to the party.

8:29 Steyer claims that the current choices are a Democratic Socialist and a Republican.

8:28 Lots of cross talk. The moderators are losing control.

8:25 Klobuchar goes on Jihad against Medicare for All.

8:25 Sanders is asked about how to pay for Medicare for All, and Sanders notes that Lancet article that shows that Sanders saves $450 billion annually.

8:23 Bloomberg denies the baby story, Buttigieg notes that it’s going to be litigated until election day.

8:22 Colloquy between Warran and Bloomberg, and Warren, and Warren again demands release from the non-disclosure agreements.

8:21 Now, Warren is telling the Bloomberg the “Kill the Baby,” story.

8:19 Bloomberg’s response, “A noun, a verb, and 911.”

8:18 Warren is asked about why she said that Bloomberg is not the safe choice. Woo hoo!!!!!! She goes after how Bloomberg donated to Lindsey Graham and other right wingers. Bloomberg wincing. HAH!!!!

8:17 Klobuchar specifically says that Bloomberg’s stop and frisk program was racist. She raises voter suppression. Good for her.

8:16 Buttigieg is asked about his dubious racial record, and he goes kumbuya. Meh.

8:15 Bloomberg is asked about stop and frisk, and he shucks and jives.

8:14 Props to CBS for only having 2 moderators on stage on at a time.

8:13 Biden says that he will win South Carolina.

8:12 Pete has a hissy fit over that. He’s crying all the way to the wine cave.

8:11 Sanders states his support for the increase in the minimum wage, free college tuition, and Medicare for all. Then he calls out Buttigieg’s sucking up to billionaires.

8:10 Joe Biden changes the subject, brings up the valid point that Sanders’ record on gun control is weak, and wraps himself in the flag of Barack. Probably the best he can do.

8:08 Pete Buttigieg talks about how the real problem is divisiveness. I just realized that Mayor Mayo is a poster child for Backpfeifengesicht, a face that begs to be slapped.

8:07 Warren argues that she has achieved more success than Sanders. Respectful, and a good point.

8:05 Bloomberg suggests that Sanders is Putin’s version of the Manchurian Candidate. I want a f%$#ing drink, so bad right now. He’ll, I’m tempted to smoke crack after that.

8:04 They ask Sanders why, if the economy is so good, how can he argue for socialism. Big fat one up the middle for Sanders who rattles off how many people are not doing well.

8:03 CBS is partnering with Twitter, #DemDebates. I’ll use #DeezeNuts.

8:02 The 7 candidates, Sanders, Biden, Buttigieg, Warren, Klobuchar, Steyer, & Bloomberg.

8:00pm And the debates start the standard network fluff pretending that this is the Super Bowl. It’s more like the Super Bowel.

I will attempt a limited live blogging of the Presidential debates.

I have to leave pick up my NJ from rehearsal at about 9 pm, so I can’t drink, and obviously, I’ll be unable to comment then, because I will be on the road.

I will be SOBER!

Damn your eyes.

11:00 On to the Daily Show. (Or not, it appears that they are running reruns of of South Park)
10:57 Sanders goes back to being Sanders in his closing statement. Sanders implacable positions are his strong point. Even of they disagree, voters liek consistency.

10:57 Someone is heckling Joe Biden. I cannot understand what they are saying.

10:53 We have the candidates recite memorized statements. Meh.

10:52 Closing statements.

10:49 Advertisement break. I am completely sh%$ faced.

10:48 Chuck Todd asks about brokered convention. Well, he would say that, wouldn’t he? MRDA.

10:46 Klobuchar is pissed off at Buttigieg. So am I.

10:43 Buttigieg notes that Klubuchar was the Democrat most likely to support Trump judges. That will leave a mark.

10:42 Klobuchar invokes 99 year old Hispanic veteran. Pander much?

10:40 This is clearly the most contentious debate so far.

10:33 Another ad break.

10:29 Warren may have had the line of the night, “We cannot be friends with Mitch McConnell.” It is a winning line.

10:29 Biden has clearly decided to go after Bloomberg’s wealth. It’s a good tactic,

10:27 Sanders is accused of being a socialist. Take a drink. Sanders notes that the rich get plenty of socialism.

10:22 I am completely sh%$ faced.

10:21 Buttigieg invokes that he is not a millionaire. AGAIN Take a drink.

10:21 The fact that the candidates have to f%$#ing raise their f%$#ing hands to get recognized if f%$#ed up and sh%$.

10:18 Bernie Sanders notes that Billionaires pay less in taxes than their secretaries, and Bloomberg takes umbrage, despite the fact that his lobbying led to this.

10:14 Vanessa Hauc asks about how rolling back Trump’s give away to mega corps and billionaires will somehow or other hamper small businesses. What the f%$# is wrong with you?

10:11 Mayor Mayo is claiming that the problem is the two most polarizing people on the state (Sanders and Bloomberg). This is the least inspiring chant of Kumbaya ever.

10:09 Biden calls for prosecuting polluting executives. I don’t believe him, but this is a good talking point.

10:04 Sanders is challenged on his call for a fracking ban, and he comes right back to the questioner, saying that anthropogenic climate change is a moral issue and a crisis, and there can be no compromise. This is actually playing to Sanders’ strength, because he gets to show how he is not going to kowtow to lobbyist.

10:02 Warren is challenged about her call to end drilling and mining on public lands.

10:00 Bloomberg calls for rejoining the Paris agreement.

9:59 Climate change is the next subject. Biden is asked first, and his response is largely word salad. Take a drink.

9:57 Captain Morgan’s rum is like drinking perfume.

9:56 No insurance funded anti-M4A ads. I am surprised.

9:53 Ad break, and I am drunk.

9:52 Biden is now begging to have some questions thrown his way. Take a drink.

9:50 Klobuchar calls Buttigieg a loser. (His disastrous Indiana Secretary of State campaign) Hah!!!! Drink.

9:48 Calling out Klobuchar not being able to recall the President of Mexico is bullshit, and I HATE Klobuchar.

9:47 Sanders notes that Bloomberg wanted to cut social security and ACTIVELY CAMPAIGNED for Bush in 2004. Good point.

9:45 Biden notes that Bloomberg could release them this moment. Nice hit.

9:42 Oh, snap. Warren’s response, “Bloomberg’s defense is that I’ve been nice to SOME women.” Calls for Bloomberg to release the women from the non disclosure agreement. Blood drawn, and Bloomberg is sounding awfully snippy.

9:39 Bloomberg is challenged on his refusal to release his tax returns. His response is, “We’re working on it, but it will take a while, until after most of the delegates are allocated.” Asshole. Take a drink.

9:35 The shot at Bernie on his health status. What Sanders has released is a detailed description of health status.

9:33 Klobuchar is confronted on her refusal to investigate police misconduct and the case of of a highly dubious conviction. She shucked and jived on this.

9:31 Warren notes that “Stop and Frisk” was intended to terrorize peoples of color, and that Bloomberg’s apology was profoundly insincere/

9:29 Bloomberg is still defending, “Stop and Frisk.” He claims that he stopped it when it got out of hand. HE DID NOT. As Biden notes, Bloomberg was FORCED to abandon the policy, he fought dropping the policy tooth and nail. Point Biden.

9:26 Biden notes that Bloomberg called Obamacare a “Disgrace”. Good point, but Biden is largely invisible.

9:26 Warren went after Klobuchar’s plan, and notes that it constitutes only 2 paragraphs.

9:24 Sanders notes that we are the only industrialized nation that does not have public health system. Drink.

9:22 Klobuchar’s claiming Post-It Notes for Spain Minnesota is kind of amusing.

9:19 Warren (IMHO correctly) accuses of Buttigieg and Klobuchar of having phony healthcare plans, sand makes the point that take the wins and move forward. (Not unreasonable) I like her description of Klobuchar’s plan as a “Post-It Note”.

9:16 Amy Klobuchar claims that nominating a woman will end misogyny on the internet, because that worked so well in 2016. That level of stupid is worth a double.

9:14 Buttigieg accuses Bernie of fomenting nastiness on the internet. Seriously? Twitter is a f%$#ing cesspool, and the “Bernie Bros” is a fraud.

9:11 Colloquy between Sanders and Buttigieg, and Buttigieg restates Bloomberg’s republican talking
points about Medicare for All.  Take a drink.

9:09: Buttigieg makes the point that Bloomberg is not a a real Democrat.  Touche.

9:07: Biden says that he polls best, so he should be the nominee.  Meh.

9:05: Klobuchar piles on too, goes with her, “I’m the only heartland-American here,” schtick.  Drink.

9:02: First question, to Sanders, “Why won’t Bloomberg be the moderate who can beat Trump?

Sanders response, “You need turnout, and Mayor Stop and Frisk won’t drive turnout.”

Bloomberg, “Medicare for all, is taking people’s insurance away.”  Bullsh%$.”

Warren unloads a can of whup ass, and notes that Boomberg has said a lot of Trumpesque misogynist sh%$.  Take a drink.

9:00: Introductions. 

8:59:  I am doing rum (Captain Morgan’s) and coke.

I am liveblogging/drunkblogging the debates again, and this time,I will be using a slightly modified version of Matt Taibbi’s drinking game.

11:19pm:
I am completely drunk.

11:14pm:
Closing statements:
Cory Booker is a very good speaker.

Tom Streyer: A big bag of nothing.

Tulsi Gabbard: Nice closing, but she got very little air time.

Andrew Yang: Silicon Snake Oil.

Amy Klobuchar: I don’t know why, but I just hate her.

Kamala Harria: She REALLY needs a hook.

Pete Buttigieg: Content free hope and change.

Sanders: Talks up his history of opposing bigotry. He also touts his support from small donors.

Warren: Calls out corruption of government. I hope that it means realistic change.

Biden: Word salad with a reference to Barack Obama.

11:00pm:
Charlie has taken away my bottle. I am really REALLY drunk.

10:58 pm:
Gabbard calls out Mayor Mayonnaise’s call for occupation of Mexico. Good. Drink.

10:50pm:
Tulsi Gabbard comes out for paper ballots counted manudlly, 2 snaps up. Drink.

10:56pm:
Mayor Mayonnaise is right to bring up Gerrymandering.

10:53pm:
Roe for Wade now comes up: the Elephant in the room.

Warren dodges the question about John Bel Edwards support for anti-abortion legislation, but Bernie comes out unequivocally in favor of abortion rights.

10:44pm:
Biden says that he is now in favor of legalization of marijuana, major policy change.

Still calling for health studies, but this is a major policy change.

Also, I am completely f%$#ed up. Charlie is now acting as my spotter.

10:40pm:
Corey Booker: “I’ve had a lifetime of experience with black voters, I’ve been one since I’ve one since I was 18.”

Also he goes after Biden on his antediluvian pot policies. Take a drink.

10:36pm:
Mayor Mayonnaise: Let me talk about what’s in my heart. Does not mention evicting poor people to make spaces available for wealthy developers. Take a drink.

10:30pm:
Yeah, I am seriously drunk now. Thank God for auto spell check.

White Supremacist violence is brought up.

I did not expect this, and it is a good question.

The proper answer is, “I will go after white supremacists like Obama and Holder went after Occupy Wall Street.”

10:27pm:
Brian Williams talks up post debate analysis at MSNBC.

F%$# that. I’m switching to the Daily Show.

Also, the ads for The Report (CIA torture) and Queen and Slim (Black Lives Matter) seem a savvy market move.

10:26 pm:
Mayor Mayonnaise refers to Trump using 17^th technology like moats filled with alligators and walls. Drink.

10:22 pm:
Sanders: “Saudi Arabia is not a reliable American ally.”

Also Sanders: “Me must treat the Palestinians with the they deserve.”

Good.

He also said, “Be clear.” Drink per Taibbi rules.

Also, I am a bit shicker now.

10:16pm:
My rather unscientific sense is that Sanders is getting an absolute minimum of time in the debates.

10:14pm:
Yang asked what his call to Putin would be if he was elected.

Stupidest question of the evening.

10:12pm:
Bernie asked about Afghanistan, and makes point that the endless wars we are promulgating need to be ended, “But unlike Trump, I will not do it by a tweet at 3 in the morning.” Nice slam, take drink.

10:09pm:
On the DPRK, Harris has a good line, “Donald Trump got punk’d.” Take a drink.

She then goes on with a full throated defense of American empire, and Joe Biden follows down the same path, and adds a dash of brinksmanship. Take shot.

10:07pm:
Climate change, and Steyer, Biden, and Sanders are generally on the same page.

The Biden bit surprises me.

Sanders calls big oil criminals. Oh, snap. Take a shot.

10:01pm:
I’m back, and I’ve cracked a bottle of rum.

Took a shot to start. It’s 151 black rum. I felt it in my ears.

Have a bottle of water for a chaser.

9:29pm:
Off to pick up Charlie.

9:26pm:
Kamala Harris basically goes down the “Tulsi Gabbard is a tool of the enemy” path.

Not surprised. Gabbard brought up Harris’ awful record as a prosecutor in prior debates, which has killed her campaign.

9:19 pm:
Mayor Mayonnaise (Pete) is using Republican talking points on Medicaid for All.

9:16 pm:
Warren and Booker are getting into it over a wealth tax.

Warren had a good line, “I’m tired of freeloading billionaires.”

Booker is clearly not into taxing rich people.

9:10pm:
Joe Biden is asked about how he will full his (IMNSHO delusional) vision of of bipartisan action given that the Republicans are going after his kid.

Mostly, he danced around  and brought back to impeachment.

9:01pm:
First question is about impeachment developments, and the Ambassador Sondland bombshell.

Basically an easy question in the context of debates.

Sanders observes that the Senate can walk and chew gum at the same time, and continue to do their day job while conducting an impeachment.

Pete Buttigieg really is sentient mayonnaise.

9:00pm:
At the introductions, and since I have to pick Charlie from the Metro, so I am currently not drinking.

I am not repeating the mistake that I made in September, when I went with 30 proof Buttershots, I am going with (cheap) rum, and using an actually shot glass, as opposed to a small glass, but I hope to get hammered before the debates are done.

Once again, I will be posting at the top, with each update having a time in HH:MM pm format.

Once again, my drinking will be guided, thought not controlled, by Matt Taibbi’s most recent debate drinking game.