Get the F%$# Over Yourselves

The British have come up with a new fiver, and vegetarians are losing their sh%$ because there are tiny quantities of animal fat used in the process of making the notes:

Britain’s new £5 note contains animal fat, the Bank of England confirmed on Twitter.

In reply to a user who asked if the substance is used, the central bank said that there is “a trace of tallow in the polymer pellets used in the base substrate of the polymer £5 notes.”

Tallow is the fat that surrounds a cow’s organs and is often used in soaps and candles.

Vegetarians and vegans reacted furiously to the news that animal fat is used in the note, which is the first to be made of polymer and has been touted as Britain’s most advanced ever.

Twitter user Steffi Rox asked “what consideration was given to vegans & their human rights,” while another user said the news gives a whole new meaning to the term “blood money.”

As an aside, this tallow is also used in credit cards, many plastic toys, wire insulation, etc.

Still, this does not prevent the Granola crowd from going full Sepoy Mutiny over this.

Sorry, but society does not have any obligation to accommodate your particular lifestyle choices in the production of currency, though if I were in Parliament, I would put forth a bill to replace the plastic bills with ones made from dried beef, but I’m kind of a jerk.

On second thought, I would make the currency from veal confined in boxes until the calf’s throats were slit.

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