They Have Developed a Robot that Does Ass-Kissing

This may not be true, but it was the first thing that I thought when I read a headline that said that, “Robots are doing the work of $326,000-a-year Goldman Sachs employees.”

After all, by the standards of the Vampire Squid, these are rather low level employees who would be disinclined to speak truth to power, particularly given that these positions are in their IPO division:

Goldman Sachs is automating the work previously done by associates earning $326,000 a year, and Bloomberg reports that half of the tasks needed to prepare for an IPO can be done by algorithms as well.

According to a recent study by the bank, half of the 127 tasks done to prepare for initial public offerings of stock can be automated.

The standard way of managing an IPO is probably the most sycophantic area of investment banking.

It’s largely about buttering up potential clients, and passing out undervalued stock to institutional investors, so the degree of lingual gluteal interaction is pretty high.

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