Jeff Bezos Is Attempting to Upload His Consciousness to a Machine

Let’s look at the checklist of scary sh%$ that Alexa does:

  • Listens to everything you say.
  • Doesn’t really care except to sell you more sh%$.
  • Doesn’t really understand the real you.
  • Doesn’t care that they don’t understand the real you.
  • Doesn’t give a sh%$ about people generally.

And here is the final bit, unexpected bursts of weird incongruous laughter.

I can only conclude that this is a result of Bezos attempting to upload his consciousness to the cloud:

Over the past few days, users with Alexa-enabled devices have reported hearing strange, unprompted laughter. Amazon responded to the creepiness today in a statement to The Verge, saying, “We’re aware of this and working to fix it.”


As noted in media reports and a trending Twitter moment, Alexa seemed to start laughing without being prompted to wake. People on Twitter and Reddit reported that they thought it was an actual person laughing near them, which is certainly scary if you’re home alone. Many responded to the cackling sounds by unplugging their Alexa-enabled devices.

I’m beginning to think that this whole Internet thing was a mistake.

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