Narwhal Tusk and Fire Extinguisher Used to Tackle London Bridge Attacker
A Narwhal tusk?
I have not words.
Tag: Weird
No, This is Not the Onion
So there I am, looking at the headlines, and I come across Boris Johnson Replaced by Ice Sculpture after Dodging Election Debate on Climate Crisis.
It’s not a parody:
Boris Johnson was criticized by party leaders and represented by a dripping ice sculpture after refusing to appear in a televised election debate focusing on climate change, sparking a row between the UK broadcaster and the Prime Minister’s Conservative Party.
The Conservatives complained to the UK’s broadcasting watchdog Ofcom ahead of the Channel 4 event, which saw Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, Liberal Democrat Jo Swinson and the heads of the UK’s other main parties quizzed on their plans to tackle the climate crisis ahead of next month’s poll.
The party said its offer of having minister Michael Gove stand in for Johnson was rejected by Channel 4, complaining the decision “effectively seeks to deprive the Conservative Party of any representation and attendance at the Channel 4 News debate.”
The network said the event was only for party leaders, and opposition leaders have lambasted Johnson for dodging scrutiny by refusing to appear.
………
Before the debate started, the program’s editor had earlier said Johnson “sent his two wing men” — Gove and Johnson’s father, Stanley — to attempt to “argue their way into” a program intended only for leaders. Stanley Johnson was there to conduct interviews in the so-called spin room after the debate, he later clarified.
Johnson and fellow no-show Nigel Farage, the leader of the Brexit Party, were ultimately replaced at the debate with ice sculptures bearing their parties’ logos, which Channel 4 said was intended to “represent the emergency on planet earth.”
Johnson’s refusal to appear in the debate gave further fuel to charges that he is avoiding media appearances during the campaign. Several opposition figures have also criticized him for refusing to confirm he would take part in an interview with BBC presenter Andrew Neil, which all of the other major leaders have done.
They should have put a blond wig on top of the ice sculpture.
Honestly, if I were to replace BoJo with anything, it would be a Goatse* sculpture.
*If you do not know what Goatse is, Do Not Google It ……… EVER.
“Robotruck,” Huh?
Concept
Execution
And the not-so bulletproof windows
So, Elon Musk has rolled out his “Cybertruck”, and I am profoundly unimpressed.
Honestly, I don’t think that Tesla was impressed either, as they set the deposit at only $100.00, as opposed to the $2500.00 deposit required for the Tesla Model Y, and $1,000 for the Model 3.
Its skin is made from 3mm (.118 in) thick 301 stainless steel skin which Musks refers to an an “Exoskeleton”, which means either that it is a unit body (skin is not a part of the structure, also called semi-monocoque), or a monocoque (skin is a part of the structure).
According to Musk, this is literally bullet proof, being able to stop a 9mm round at 10 meters. (The numbers work out for this)
Most trucks, by comparison, are body on frame, where there is a structure , typically a ladder frame, upon which the body is mounted.
This is one reason for the gradual taper behind the passenger cab, it’s needed for a stiff body.
Unit body is typically lighter than body on frame, and monocoque is lighter still than unit body, but significantly more difficult to manufacture, which is why it unit body is far more common in mass produced automobiles.
Also unit body makes implementing changes in the body of the car easier, since the skin merely needs to mate to the frame.
In aircraft, where weight is more significant, a full monocoque is typically used.
In any case, the skin is about 4 times thicker than that of a P-51 Mustang, which was aluminum which is about 2½ less dense than steel, so this is HEAVY.
Based on the pictures shown, and the thickness of the skin, the weight of the just skin is in the 4000 lb range.
When you add in windows, tires, motors, a 500 mile battery, tailgate, seats, electronics, lights, etc. I do not see the weight of the vehicle being any less than 8,000 pounds, and it might very well exceed 10,000 pounds.
By comparison, a Ford F-150 is about 5,500 pounds.
As such, not only will the car be expensive to operate, more weight means higher power consumption, but the handling is likely problematic, particularly in off road mode, where getting stuck in the mud is a thing.
The angular appearance of the truck may be driven by the choice of material and thickness, as 300 series stainless work hardens a lot, and at 3mm thick, it could be difficult to put complex curves in it.
Also, I’m not sure how it would corner at that weight. I’m thinking that it’s in the, “Looks like a fish, moves like a fish, steers like a cow,” category.
Adding to the List of They Who Must Not Be Named
I’ve never written about him before, but I need to add Kanye West to my list of they who must not be named, after he announced that he is changing his name to, “Christian Genius Billionaire Kanye West”, and that he will run for President in 2024.
Normally, my list has exception for people who run for office, but in the case of Kanye, Imma let you finish, but unless you actually win a caucus or a primary, you are out of here.
Kanye West is now on my list of my list of They Who Must Not Be Named:
Kanye West knows what’s going to put him in the Oval Office in 2024 — he’s reaffirming his plans to run while revealing his platform and a name change … a huge one.
………
Ye also complained about Forbes’ reluctance to label him a billionaire and announced he’ll change his name to “Christian Genius Billionaire Kanye West” … just to stick it to the outlet.
As near as I can tell, this is not some sort of performance art for a mockumentary.
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi Killed Donald Trump Has WTF Moment
Seriously, I can understand his desire to announce the alleged killing of ISIS founder al-Baghdadi, but to the degree I could listen to his announcement, about 15 minutes, his affect was completely deranged:
The Islamic State leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, has been killed in a raid by US special forces on his Syrian safe house, Donald Trump has announced, ending a years-long hunt for one of the world’s most-wanted terrorists.
Trump said the “impeccable” two-hour operation was conducted on Saturday night in the province of Idlib, one of the few areas of the country still outside Syrian regime control, and that US officials had confirmed Baghdadi, 48, was among those killed.
………
The US president, facing impeachment proceedings and under bipartisan fire for withdrawing troops from the Syrian border, basked in the demise of the self-styled caliphate leader, whose final moments he described in vivid, indulgent detail.
“[Baghdadi] running into a dead-end tunnel, whimpering and crying and screaming all the way,” Trump said.
Cornered, Baghdadi detonated a suicide vest and killed himself and three of his children, Trump said. “He died like a dog, he died like a coward. The world is now a much safer place,” he said.
Seriously, it sounded even weirder when you heard it than when you read it.
Also, he was hiding in north east Syria, an area carved out for our al Qaeda allies(!) who were allegedly sworn enemies of IS, which indicates just how truly f%$#ed our priorities, tactics, and strategy is in Syria.
Cue Republicans claiming that the impeachment inquiry needs to end, because some bearded dude got whacked.
What the Actual F%$#?????
Note the cell phone and the sign prohibiting them
Taking a chapter from the “Storm Area 51” movement, Congressional Republicans just rushed the Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility (SCIF) where the House Intelligence Committee was interviewing Laura Cooper, the deputy assistant secretary of defense for Russia, Ukraine, and Eurasia about the Trump administration using military aid to extort opposition research from the Ukraine.
They were literally tweeting about it on their phones as they ran into the secure room.
On Wednesday, Republican lawmakers committed a major breach of security guidelines when they carried cell phones as they tried to force their way into a secure room where a closed-door impeachment hearing with a Defense Department official was taking place.
At least one House member, Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida, got inside the Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility (SCIF) in the basement of the House of Representatives. Despite strict rules barring all electronics inside such closed-off areas, Gaetz openly tweeted: “BREAKING: I led over 30 of my colleagues into the SCIF where Adam Schiff is holding secret impeachment depositions. Still inside—more details to come.”
It should be noted that not only were there Republicans in the hearing already, but about ¼ of the Representatives rushing the SCIF were already authorized to be at the hearing.
This was basically an attempt to recreate the Brooks Brothers riot of 2000, and intimidate the current, and future witnesses.
Lawyers said bringing phones into the secure area was a potential felony. Security officials, meanwhile, stressed how damaging the move could be to national security. The SCIF is designed to prevent electronic eavesdropping so members of Congress can receive sensitive information that is often classified. Often, the materials in the room reveal sensitive operations or show how intelligence officers collect information on adversaries. SCIFs are carefully controlled to prevent electronic signals or electronic devices from leaving the rooms. Chief among these restrictions is no unauthorized electronic devices.
Lock them up!!! Lock them up!!!
Wednesday’s event occurred as members of the House Intelligence Committee were preparing to hear from Laura K. Cooper, the deputy assistant secretary of defense for Russia, Ukraine, and Eurasia. Chanting “let us in, let us in,” the protesting lawmakers prevented the hearing from proceeding. House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff turned the protesters away and called on the sergeant-at-arms to break up the crowd.
Schiff should have asked for the Sergeant at Arms to put them with cuffs and leave them face down on the floor for 3 or so hours.
Furrsonae Non Gratae
Midwest FurFest has refused to allow Milo Yiannopoulos to attend the convention:
Right-wing persona non grata Milo Yiannopoulos announced that he has adopted a “fursona” as a snow leopard and that he purchased tickets to a furry convention; in response, organizers rescinded his event registration.
Yiannopoulos posted an email screenshot to one of the few platforms he has left—his Telegram messaging channel—on Saturday and claimed he registered for Midwest FurFest, a convention “to celebrate the furry fandom” hosted in the suburbs on Chicago this December. “Furries,” as they’re often called, are groups of people who have interest in animal personas with human characteristics; people who participate in the subculture often present themselves as non-human characters via art and costumes.
Needless to say, members of the Furred Reich are feeling a lot of butt-hurt about this.
I Am so Stoked about This
We now have reports that Gary Larson’s THE FAR SIDE Cartoon may be coming back in some form:
Gary Larson said goodbye to fans and the absurdist universe of The Far Side with his final comic on January 1, 1995, and since then the real world has done everything it can to live up to the inanity of his iconic comic strip. Unfortunately, the foolishness of 2019 isn’t nearly as enjoyable as sentient chickens and oversized suburban bugs. Now, the 21st century might be getting both of those creatures—along with aliens, cavemen, clever cows, and women with beehive hairdos—because for the first time in almost two decades, the cartoon’s official webpage has been updated. And unless this joke is on all of us, The Far Side will soon be returning.
After sitting dormant since 1999, The Far Side‘s webpage was updated suddenly and without warning (which we first learned about at The Daily Cartoonist). It features a new cartoon of an explorer using a blowtorch to melt some of the strip’s most iconic characters from a large block of ice. Below it reads, “Uncommon, unreal, and (soon-to-be) unfrozen. A new online era of The Far Side is coming!” Since the cartoon itself is signed by Larson, it certainly appears he will be returning with all new comics for the first time in almost 25 years.
For the love of God, please make this true. 
Odd Life Events
I am at my former babysitter’s wedding.
She started sitting for us when Charlie was 4 or 5, and she was 16 or 17.
The wedding is perfectly ordinary, it’s just that I still think of Sarah Basha as a kid, and note she it’s getting married.
It makes me feel old.
Posted via mobile.
Headline of the Day
Mississippi Police Want to Arrest the Satanists Who Turn Dead People Gay
—VICE
It was the grave of the mother of Fred Phelps, late of the Westboro Baptist Church.
One would think that the local police department would have better things to do with their time.
They Need to Add Frickin’ Laser Beams Attached to Their Heads
Thread: 1) During a military expo in Beijing, #China has unveiled Shark-styled underwater drones designed to carry out reconnaissance missions. pic.twitter.com/xDioOyQo3B— IndoPacific_SCS_Info (@IndoPac_Info) July 28, 2019
China has created an underwater that looks like a shark.
I am sure that I am not the only one who’s initial response was to think of the movie,
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery?
Because I cannot look at that shark drone, and not think that this something out of a parody of the James Bond films.
Of course, I always thought that they missed a joke with the Sea Bass: At the time that Dr. Evil went into the deep freeze, there was no such thing as a Sea Bass, they were known as Patagonian Toothfish.
Just saying, “Patagonian Toothfish,” is funny.
Uses for an Oyster Knife
I was at 7-Mile Market, the largest kosher market in Baltomore today, and they had some kitchen tools hanging from a display, an onion splitter, a strawberry corer, and an ………OYSTER KNIFE????
I know of one use for an oyster knife, and that is for opening oyster.
It’s basically a paring knife with a heavy spine and a handle suited to prying up shellfish.
Shellfish are (of course) not kosher, so I am unsure as to who would be inclined to buy this knife at 7-Mile Market.
Headline of the Day
Rather unsurprisingly, the headline comes from Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post, which always does a good job on headlines.
As if There Wasn’t Enough Political Sh%$ Going Down in Iowa
It also appears that the state is drowning in literal pig excrement as well:
It’s probably not an accomplishment state officials will want to boast about, but Iowa out-performs the rest of the country when it comes to producing sh%$. Not “sh%$” in any metaphorical sense, but literal fecal waste.
Chris Jones, a research engineer and an adjunct associate professor at the University of Iowa, IIHR (UI’s hydroscience and engineering center), has done the math, and published the results on his blog about water quality. Iowa, with a population of 3.2 million, produces more than twice the amount of fecal waste per square mile than California, which has almost 40 million people.
But what’s propelled Iowa to the top of the sh%$ list isn’t people, it’s pigs.
Last year, Iowa hit “peak pig,” with 23.6 million pigs, the most ever recorded in any state. When Iowa set that record in August, North Carolina, the state that ranks second in swine, only had 9.4 million. And pigs, Jones explained on his blog, produce much more waste than humans.
(%$ mine)
Between the chickensh%$ politics of the caucuses, and the real sh%$ of the pigs, I do not want to be downwind of the state.
Rather ironically, this actually mirrors a Will Rogers quip regarding the juxtaposition of the Chicago stockyards and the Democratic Convention made many years ago.
Just Ignoring the Court?
The DoJ has just announced that it will ignore a court order calling for it to release transcripts of conversations between former NSC Chairman Michael Flynn and Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak.
The DoJ fighting public release of information is something that has been standard operating procedure for a very long time, the Obama administration has fought this tooth and nail against the public release of information, but this is different, because the DoJ is simply refusing to comply.
There has been no request for an appeal or injunction, they are just refusing to follow a judge’s orders:
Federal prosecutors on Friday declined to make public transcripts of recorded conversations between Michael Flynn and Russia’s ambassador to the United States in December 2016, despite a judge’s order.
In a court filing Friday, the Justice Department wrote that it did not rely on such recordings to establish Flynn’s guilt or determine a recommendation for his sentencing.
Prosecutors also failed to release an unredacted version of portions of the Mueller report related to Flynn that the judge had ordered be made public.
………
The government’s unusual response came after U.S. District Judge Emmet G. Sullivan in Washington ordered earlier in May that the Justice Department make public various materials related to the case, including transcripts of any audio recordings of Flynn, such as his conversations with Russian officials.
………
Sullivan made clear he wanted the full transcript of Flynn’s calls to be shared with the public, although he did not provide his reasoning. The Justice Department’s response appeared to duck that order.
There are any number of ways that the DoJ could delay the release of this information.
Just telling a judge to go pound sand is a remarkably lawless, even by the standards of the US State Security Apparatus.
What the F%$# Do You Put on Your Resume
I was reading an article about how researchers, using shark vomit, have determined that baby tiger in the Gulf of Mexico sharks eat lots of song birds. (NOT seabirds)
Normally, I would file this under, “Huh, that’s interesting,” and I might post a link in my linkage posts.
But then a thought hit me, which is that a fairly large number of researchers are involved in this, including research assistants, graduate students, and maybe some undergrads as well.
Doubtless these folks will be going to other jobs, and other schools, where they will want to relate this experience to future employers or educators.
This raises a question for me, what is the best way to put, “Shark Vomit Analyst on a resume?”
Something Is Very Wrong
It looks like Boeing altered changed the operation of trim and autopilot switches in the 737 MAX for no discernible reason.
This makes no sense, which leads me to believe that, somehow or other, this was driven by some sort of bizarre business case:
In the middle of Boeing 737 cockpits, sitting between the pilot seats, are two toggle switches that can immediately shut off power to the systems that control the angle of the plane’s horizontal tail.
Those switches are critical in the event a malfunction causes movements that the pilots don’t want. And Boeing sees the toggles as a vital backstop to a new safety system on the 737 MAX – the Maneuvering Characteristics Augmentation System (MCAS) – which is suspected of repeatedly moving the horizontal tails on the Lion Air and Ethiopian Airlines flights that crashed and killed a total of 346 people.
But as Boeing was transitioning from its 737 NG model to the 737 MAX, the company altered the labeling and the purpose of those two switches. The functionality of the switches became more restrictive on the MAX than on previous models, closing out an option that could conceivably have helped the pilots in the Ethiopian Airlines flight regain control.
Boeing declined to detail the specific functionality of the two switches. But after obtaining and reviewing flight manual documents, The Seattle Times found that the left switch on the 737 NG model is capable of deactivating the buttons on the yoke that pilots regularly press with their thumb to control the horizontal stabilizer. The right switch on the 737 NG was labeled “AUTO PILOT” and is capable of deactivating just the automated controls of the stabilizer.
On the newer 737 MAX, according to documents reviewed by The Times, those two switches were changed to perform the same function – flipping either one of them would turn off all electric controls of the stabilizer. That means there is no longer an option to turn off automated functions – such as MCAS – without also turning off the thumb buttons the pilots would normally use to control the stabilizer.
Peter Lemme, a former Boeing flight-controls engineer who has been closely scrutinizing the MAX design and first raised questions about the switches on his blog, said he doesn’t understand why Boeing abandoned the old setup. He said if the company had maintained the switch design from the 737 NG, Boeing could have instructed pilots after the Lion Air crash last year to simply flip the “AUTO PILOT” switch to deactivate MCAS and continue flying with the normal trim buttons on the control wheel. He said that would have saved the Ethiopian Airlines plane and the 157 people on board.………
Lemme said he’s surprised that Boeing made the change to take away the functionality that could have allowed the pilots to shut off MCAS without shutting off the electric switches at their thumbs.
“I don’t get it at all,” Lemme said. “I don’t see what the benefit was for making that change. It was like change for change’s sake.”
Seriously, what the F%$# were they thinking?
Tweet of the Day
Police detained a young man holding a blank poster in central square in Uralsk, Western Kazakhstan today. They released him shortly after as they couldn’t figure out what he would be charged with pic.twitter.com/nLtIneIsr6— Dina Baidildayeva (@baidildayeva) May 6, 2019
I don’t know that is going on here, either someone has just went a little crazy, or they are being profoundly subversive.
I want to know the rest of the story.
H/t naked capitalism
My Life is a Lie
I just read that the death metal band Hatebeak, has released its 4th album in 12 years.
That doesn’t make my life a lie.
Neither does the fact that the lead singer is, “Waldo, a 21-year-old African grey parrot.”
What makes my life a lie is the fact that they are a, “Baltimore-based three-man studio project”, involving drummer Blake Harrison, guitarist Mark Sloan, and the aforementioned Waldo.
I have been living in the greater Baltimore area for 18 years, and I have never heard of Hatebeak.
Seriously, here is a a bit of Baltimore performance art that makes John Waters look like Pat Boone, and I was completely unaware.
What is wrong with me?
I could have had these guys play at Natalie’s or Charlie’s B’nei Mitzvah, if I had only known.
Oh No, Not Again
Everyone’s favorite pedophile, Roy Moore, is currently leading in the polls for the Alabama Senate race in 2020:
Former Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore leads the field of potential Republicans vying for the chance to challenge Sen. Doug Jones (D), a year and a half after Moore lost what was supposed to be an easy election in a deep-red state.
A new poll shows Moore leading a still-evolving field of Alabama Republicans competing for the nomination. He is the top choice of 27 percent of Alabama Republican voters, according to the Mason-Dixon Polling & Strategy Inc. survey.
Someone needs to check the water supply in Alabama, because someone has dosed it with something strong.