Month: February 2019

Elliot Abrams (יש”ו) Completely Loses his Sh%$

Elliot Abrams is suffering from a severe lead deficiency

This video shows Elliot Abrams, a man who supported and justified the murder of civilians, genocide, and the rape and murder of nuns in the 1980s, expressing shock and outrage that he was confronted on his record of psychopathic mayhem. (And his record of lying to Congress, but that’s a pretty minor mark on his ledger by comparison)

The very serious people in Washington are shocked that freshman Representative Ilhan Omar actually confronted him about this.

F%$# those delicate snowflakes, and f%$# them for rehabilitating a f%$#ing genocidal maniac.

May their names be obliterated as well. (that is what יש”ו stands for)

Is it April 1 already?

Less Passenger Space than a DC-3

A group of defense consultants were tasked with recommending an updated Air Force One, the Presidential transport.

One proposal, to use a 737 is internally consistent, in that it leverages some of the engineering work done already on the P-8A Poseidon.

There is a logic behind the choice, though the airframe might be too small to accomodate the President, his staff, and the press corps.

The second proposal, to use the proposed B-21 next generation bomber, is flat out delusional.
This aircraft is supposed to be roughly the size of the B-2, and as this picture of its bomb bay shows, the internal volume is less than any other Presidential transport since Presidents first flew.

Seriously, what the F%$# were they smoking?

A panel of aerospace and defense analysts has proposed ditching the U.S. Air Force’s Boeing 747-8-based Air Force One in favor of the Northrop Grumman B-21 stealth bomber, or a less-costly militarized Boeing 737 fleet.

The group, writing for Wright Williams & Kelly (WWK), a cost management software and consulting company, says in a new report that President Donald Trump’s concerns about the massive cost of modifying two or three end-of-the-line 747-8 commercial airliners into military-grade presidential transports could be significantly reduced by recasting the requirements, which demand four engines and accommodations for an entourage of 70-plus passengers. By taking into account the safety and reliability of modern twin-engine aircraft, the Air Force would have a wide range of alternatives to study, instead of being limited to the Boeing 747-8 or Airbus A380.


Danny Lam, who contributed to the WWK report and is a spokesman on behalf of the group, says the report focused on the B-21 and 737. It does not rule out the Boeing 767, nor foreign airframes built by Airbus, Bombardier or Embraer. Russian and Chinese alternatives were not candidates.

The penny-wise option is a fleet of presidential 737s, since the type has already been adapted for military use at great expense. The 737-700-based C-40 already carries passengers for the U.S. Navy and U.S. Air Force. The 737 has also been converted into the P-8A Poseidon submarine hunter for the Navy, Australia, India, Norway and the UK. It is the basis for Australia, South Korea, and Turkey’s airborne early warning and control aircraft. Boeing has also pitched it as a replacement for the Air Force’s E-8C Joint Surveillance Target Attack Radar System, EC-130H Compass Call and RC-135 Rivet Joint aircraft.


Central to the B-21 proposal is safety. Lan says the proliferation of high-tech surface-to-air missiles to “non-state actors and guerrilla groups” is a significant threat to Air Force One, and a 747-8 is particularly vulnerable.

I would also note that they based their analysis on publicly available data on the B-2 Spirit, which, among other things, lacks a real bathroom, possessing only a chamber pot behind the seats.

This proposal is insanely stupid.

Inside Baseball, DC Politics Editions

It appears that by hiring some white shoe lawyers the Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerrold Nadler (R-NY), some people are convinced that impeachment is just around the corner.

I don’t fault Nadler, he’s doing his job, or for the lawyers for giving up what are doubtless very well remunerated positions for public, but the breathless coverage is a bit much.

This is just basic, though laudable, due diligence.

Chill the F%$# out:

Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee said on Tuesday that they had retained two elite white-collar litigators and prominent legal critics of President Trump to help begin inquiries into some of the most sensitive allegations involving the president, including ethics violations, corruption and possible obstruction of justice.

The committee’s chairman, Representative Jerrold Nadler of New York, has not committed to opening a formal impeachment inquiry. But the addition of the two lawyers, Norman L. Eisen and Barry H. Berke, indicates that the Democrats do not intend to wait for the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III, to finish his work to begin weighing issues that could ultimately be wrapped up in such a proceeding.


Retaining two counsels of Mr. Eisen and Mr. Berke’s caliber is relatively unusual for a congressional committee, and it underscores the new legal and political jeopardy the president faces in a House controlled by Democrats. Just in the last week, Democrats in the chamber have begun laying the groundwork to try to obtain Mr. Trump’s long-concealed tax returns and restarted a broad investigation into his ties not only to Russia but also to other foreign entities that could have financial or other leverage over the president or his associates.

I expect there to be investigations, and I expect them to find a lot, because there is a f%$# load of sh%$ to find, but if the rest of us spend the next 23 months waiting with baited breath for its results, there is a lot of evil that Trump and his Evil Minions will accomplish.

There are Nazis to punch while Representative Nadler does his job.

Athletic Education is to Education as Athletic Supporter is to Supporter

In a development that could only have occurred in the sports crazy state of Texas, a mandate for improved physical education has been shown to diminish educational outcomes:

It’s almost too easy to satirize physical education, better known by its eye-roll-inducing abbreviation P.E. From Clueless to Superbad to Spiderman: Homecoming, parodies of gym class are a pop-culture darling. Perhaps that’s because they speak to one of America’s fundamental truths: For many kids, P.E. is terrible.

A recent working paper focused on a massive P.E. initiative in Texas captures this reality. Analyzing data out of the state’s Texas Fitness Now program—a $37 million endeavor to improve middle schoolers’ fitness, academic achievement, and behavior by requiring them to participate in P.E. every day—the researchers concluded that the daily mandate didn’t have any positive impact on kids’ health or educational outcome. On the contrary: They found that the program, which ran from 2007 to 2011, actually had detrimental effects, correlating with an uptick in discipline and absence rates.


According to the study, the program resulted in a roughly 16 percent increase in the number of disciplinary actions for each student. The study also found that the proportion of misbehaving students went up by more than 7 percent.

The findings of the study, which has yet to be published in an academic journal, are limited in scope. Still, the new paper adds much-needed nuance to the body of research that has evaluated the effectiveness of various approaches to P.E., complicating the findings of studies that generally assert the importance of school policies that encourage regular opportunities for physical activity.


The results of Packham’s paper on the Fitness Now program support the basic takeaway that the design of P.E. courses is what’s most consequential, and they hint at two interconnected factors that experts suggest tend to undermine the impact of such curricula. For one, P.E. programs often rely on a superficial notion of gym class—conceiving of physical activity as little more than a timed run around the track, for example, or a game of kickball—and this results in worse offerings. And then, when students feel forced to take these basic offerings, they may resent the classes more than they would otherwise. “Older kids have already formed these important eating and exercising habits, and changing their daily decisions is more complicated than just providing money for jump ropes,” Packham says.

Despite greater recognition of the academic benefits of physical activities—including guidelines from agencies such as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention stressing that kids should get at least an hour of such activities a day—schools began to deprioritize P.E. about two decades ago, and the cuts have persisted in many cases, suggests Kohl. Accompanying this shift has been a movement away from casual activities such as recess, which experts argue is one of the more effective means of promoting children’s physical health. An immense body of research demonstrates the positive benefits of increased recess time, which schools started to cut after No Child Left Behind was signed into law, because of the policy’s emphasis on academic subjects such as reading and math.

I think that many people what the real purpose of education actually is:  It’s there to give an unchallenging class major for student athletes, because those TV residuals don’t generate themselves.

The evidence is clear:  Recess is better for academics and physical fitness than gym class.

In fact, nothing is better for academics and physical fitness than gym class.

Not Good

The New York Fed just released a report revealing that car loan delinquencies have hit an all time high.

What is significant is that, yet again, the current expansion has been driven by consumer credit, and consumers look to be coming to the end of their string:

Millions of Americans are struggling with their car payments, and even economists are surprised.

According to a new report from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, more than 7 million Americans have reached serious delinquency status on their auto loans, meaning they’re at least 90 days behind on payments.

Fed economists said this is “surprising” considering a strengthening labor market and economy.

People often prioritize car loans because many need to drive to get to work and earn a paycheck, The Washington Post’s Heather Long reported. The fact that a record number of Americans aren’t making those payments is “usually a sign of significant duress among low-income and working-class Americans,” Long wrote.

“The substantial and growing number of distressed borrowers suggests that not all Americans have benefitted from the strong labor market and warrants continued monitoring and analysis of this sector,” Fed economists wrote in a blog post dissecting the report.

This is supposed to be a historically strong economy, and people cannot keep up their car payments after decades of cut-backs to mass transit.

This will not be pretty.


An honest trailer for Star Trek: The Next Generation:

And the Hunt for Jeff Bezos’ Penis Continues

It turns out that American Media, LLC, the parent company of the National Enquirer, asked for an opinion from the Justice Department on whether it had to register as a foreign agent for the House of Saud, which,, even for the National Enquirer, is rather a mind f%$#:

The dust-up between Inc. founder Jeff Bezos and National Enquirer parent American Media LLC has raised questions about the media company’s connections to Saudi Arabia.

American Media has had plenty of contacts with Saudi Arabia in recent years, including seeking financial backing from Saudi investors to fund acquisitions and producing a magazine celebrating the country’s new crown prince.

It also sought advice last year from the U.S. Justice Department over whether the publisher should register as a foreign agent, a person familiar with the matter told The Wall Street Journal.

The issue of the ties came up last week when Mr. Bezos took to the internet to push back against what he said was an extortion attempt by the National Enquirer against him over an extramarital affair that the tabloid reported on last month featuring photos and texts. He said he launched his own probe into how the publication obtained his texts as well as its motives and wrote that the “Saudi angle seems to hit a particularly sensitive nerve.”

Gee, you think?

This is what happens when people start turning over rocks, and it is nice that the worm has turned on the National Enquirer.

We Are Living in Bizarro World

It appears that gentrification in Oakland has dope dealers driving out tech startups.

That’s me watching this and golf clapping after reading these two tweets:

Hearing from tech startups getting priced out of Oakland warehouse space because of soaring demand for indoor hydroponic pot farms.

Yes, because it’s 2019 and everything is nuts *techies are being gentrified out of neighborhoods by drug dealers*

— Chris Anderson (@chr1sa) February 8, 2019

Same thing is happening with industrial space in LA/the valley

— Art Of Coop (@ARTofCOOP) February 9, 2019

Before you think that we have reached maximum weird, note that we are only (checks watch) 21 months from election day.

Stop the world, I want to get off this chicken sh%$ ride.

Good News Everyone, the Fox News Audience is Dying Off!

Fox news audience and ad revenue is on a significant down trend.
I’m a pessimist, so I think that this was demographics.

It had to happen eventually: Their audience is old, and getting older fast.

Optimists think that their audience has finally tired of their phony “Journalism”, but I think that it’s just because they are dying off:

The news just keeps getting worse for Donald Trump’s favorite television network. Over the past three months Fox News has been thrashed in the Nielsen ratings by MSNBC, particularly by Rachel Maddow who has topped her competition, Sean Hannity, almost every night since the November midterm election.

Now TheWrap is reporting that Hannity’s primetime colleagues have problems of their own. Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham have both been the targets of advertiser boycotts as a result of commentaries that were especially loathsome. Not that their regular topics don’t routinely offend decent people. But even these weasels can cross lines that are impossible to ignore:

“According to an analysis for TheWrap by advertising data firm Standard Media Index, Fox News’ 10 p.m. slot, hosted by Ingraham, was down at least $16 million in ad revenue in 2018. Carlson’s show, which airs at 8 p.m., has lost another $2.2 million thanks to an ad boycott that began in December after he said mass immigration makes the U.S. ‘poorer, and dirtier, and more divided.’”

Tucker Carlson’s flagrant white nationalism has become a staple of his nightly program. It’s unconscionable that any advertisers continue to support him. But the exodus of ads has definitely proven to be more than a temporary setback. Carlson is currently is running about half of the ads he had prior to the boycott. And they have been replaced by unpaid Fox promos and public service announcements.

Laura Ingraham’s problems began after she attacked the survivors of the Parkland, Florida high school shooting. These are kids who suffered a nightmare that no one should ever face, but who Ingraham considered fair game for even more abuse. She is also notorious for her racist and elitist views, such as when she said that basketball legend and philanthropist LeBron James should “shut up and dribble.” Now her advertisers have also been cut in half.

I do not think that ratings are falling because Fox News have shocked the conscience of their audience.

In fact, I do not think that is possible.

To quote the Bard of Baltimore: (This is the actual quote from Menken, it is frequently misquoted)

No one in this world, so far as I know — and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me — has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.

This is F%$#ed Up and SH%$

Steve Schmidt, part of the team that gave the world Sarah Palin, was on the Words Matter podcast, and stormed off in anger after being challenged for his support of coffee billionaire Howard Schultz.

The twist to this story is that Steve Schmidt is the one of the founders the Words Matter podcast, so he walked off his OWN PODCAST.

What a lame ass punk:

Anti-Trump strategist and pundit Steve Schmidt is feeling the heat from all sides since his client, Starbucks founder Howard Schultz, announced on 60 Minutes that he might run for president as an independent. The reaction from Democrats and anti-Trump Republicans was overwhelmingly negative, putting Schmidt on the defensive and costing him his MSNBC punditry perch as long as he is advising Schultz on entering the race in 2020.

Anybody who has watched Schmidt on MSNBC, or saw the portrayal of him in the 2012 HBO movie Game Change, knows that he operates on a pretty short fuse. Just how short, his two longtime friends and podcast partners, Adam Levine and Elise Jordan, found out when they sat down last Tuesday to interview him on their show Words Matter about Schultz’ just announced potential presidential bid and Schmidt’s role as the chief adviser to the Starbucks founder in it.

Jordan, an alum of the George W. Bush White House and the Rand Paul presidential campaign, outlined the ground rules that everything would be on the record, and that Schmidt would be treated no differently than any other guest even though he was a founder of Words Matter, along with Jordan and Levine, another Bush veteran and media pro who’d worked with NBC superstar Tim Russert. Things were tense. Schmidt had said that he wouldn’t be involved in any presidential campaign, but that he would be leading a 501c4 dedicated to building a third party movement funded by Schultz, “movement” being the key word in their mind. He gave no heads-up to Jordan and Levine about Schultz’s announcement.

Schmidt railed at having to defend himself on his podcast with a stream of curses a source present in the studio said consumed six minutes. Told that listeners were castigating him for joining an effort that could help re-elect President Trump and that he owed them answers, Schmidt finally settled down enough to take about 30 minutes to answer questions from Jordan, normally his co-host, and Levine, the executive producer.


That prompts Levine to ask the question that evidently hits a nerve. “Will Derek Jeter or another athlete not hit another home run because they’re going to get taxed at 70? What’s the economic behavior that he thinks is anti-growth, other than his own pocket?”

“This is bullshit,” Schmidt exclaims. “I’m not doing this.”

“Steve, you’ve got to answer the questions,” Levine says.

“I’m not,” and with that Schmidt slams down his headset and abruptly ends the interview. He threatened legal action against the studio if the interview airs, according to a source involved in the discussion. When his legal threat failed, he offered to buy the recording, according to the source. The studio refused.

This man is a candy-ass  pissant, but he gave us Sarah Palin, so this is no surprise.

Sex, Lies, and Text Messages

Jeff Bezos: “Alexa, send nudes to my secret admirer.”

Alexa: “Got it. Sending nudes to the National Enquirer.”

— Pranay Pathole (@PPathole) February 8, 2019

Best Twitter Take on All of This

It now appears that Jeff Bezos’ Girlfriend’s brother leaked his texts to the National Enquirer.

This is not a surprise. He has frequently been described as an, “Acquaintance of provocative Trump backers Roger Stone and Carter Page.”

It appears that, in the world of the radical right at least, politics trumps filial obligations.

The brother of Jeff Bezos’ mistress, Lauren Sanchez, supplied the couple’s racy texts to the National Enquirer, multiple sources inside AMI, the tabloid’s parent company, told The Daily Beast.

Another source who has been in extensive communication with senior leaders at AMI confirmed that Michael Sanchez first supplied Bezos’ texts to the Enquirer.


AMI has previously refused to identify the source of the texts, but a lawyer for the company strongly hinted at Sanchez’s role during a Sunday morning interview on ABC.

“The story was given to the National Enquirer by a reliable source that had given information to the National Enquirer for seven years prior to this story. It was a source that was well known to both Mr. Bezos and Ms. Sanchez,” attorney Elkan Abramowitz told ABC’s George Stephanopoulos.

If only there is some way for both Bezos and Trump to lose.

Maybe I Wasn’t too Pessimistic*

This week started with a terrifying bang, when German and French negotiators announced a deal to revive the worst parts of the new EU Copyright Directive though a compromise on “Article 13,” which requires copyright filters for any online service that allows the public to communicate.

The Franco-German “compromise” was truly awful: German politicians, worried about a backlash at home, had insisted on some cosmetic, useless exemptions for small businesses; French negotiators were unwilling to consider even these symbolic nods towards fairness and consideration for free speech, competition, and privacy.

The deal they brokered narrowed the proposed German exemptions to such a degree that they’d be virtually impossible to use, meaning that every EU-based forum for online communications would have to find millions and millions to pay for filters — and subject their users to arbitrary algorithmic censorship as well as censorship through deliberate abuse of the system — or go out of business.

Now that a few days have passed, European individuals, businesses, lobby groups and governments have weighed in on the proposal and everyone hates it.

(emphasis original)
A partial list of people who hate the deal:

  • Bertelsmann, the largest publisher in the world.
  • The people of Portugal.
  • The recording industry.  (Not a typo)
  • The government of Italy.

Article 13 is shaping up to be a “Douglas Adams” level of legislative insanity, where at each stage, it is replaced by something even more bizarrely  inexplicable.

*In an earlier post, I suggested that I was too pessimistic about the progress of the EU’s disastrous, “Article 13,” proposals.  It appears that my pessimism might have been justified.

Jack Klugman is Still Murdering People

Klugman has been dead for more than 6 years, but the orphan drug act that he championed is still giving drug companies a license to price old drugs at unaffordable levels:

In a letter sent Monday to the CEO of Catalyst Pharmaceuticals, Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) demanded the company explain its decision to set the price of Firdapse, a drug used to treat a rare neuromuscular disease called Lambert-Eaton myasthenic syndrome (LEMS), at $375,000 per year.

For two decades, patients have received the same drug – known as 3,4-DAP – for free from Jacobus Pharmaceutical under the Food and Drug Administration’s compassionate use program. Recently, Catalyst licensed the rights to the drug and received exclusive rights to market Firdapse for seven years under the FDA’s orphan drug designation. In December 2018, Catalyst announced to investors it would set the list price for Firdapse at $375,000 per year.

As a result, patients around the country are frightened as to whether or not they will be able to maintain access to a drug they depend upon to survive.

Last week, Sanders spoke via Skype with one of those patients, Rebecca Hovde of Wellman, Iowa, who told him about the incredible anxiety people with LEMS are living with as a result of Catalyst’s decision to increase the price. “I have friends saying that it’s too much. They know they can’t afford it. And they’re just going to go to bed when their 3,4 DAP runs out,” Hovde told Sanders. (Watch the full conversation here.)

In response to the concerns raised by Hovde and other patients, Sanders asked the CEO of Catalyst how many patients will suffer or die due to their decision to set such an outrageous price, calling that decision “not only a blatant fleecing of American taxpayers, but…also an immoral exploitation of patients who need this medication.”

“By setting such a high price and forcing production and distribution of the older, inexpensive version to cease, you are threatening access that patients had to a cheap version of this product, and handing a completely unwarranted bill to American taxpayers,” Sanders wrote.

Sanders requested information on what Catalyst is charging patients, private insurers and government payers for the medication.

“The egregious price set by Catalyst cannot be allowed to stand. Patients in America should not be allowed to suffer or die because of the greed of a drug company. If Catalyst does not substantially lower the price of this medication, Congress must act to ensure it is affordable for every patient,” Sanders said.

Read Sanders’ letter to Catalyst here.

Sanders is right, but the problem is not Catalyst as much as it is a regulatory regime that is dedicated to excessive monopoly rents. 

It is evil, and it is wrong.

A Feature not a Bug

It now appears that the removal of erotic services ads on Craigslist have increased the instance of violence against women:

Under the guise of targeting sex traffickers, FOSTA has both done damage to Section 230 protections and sex workers’ literal lives. The law has yet to result in any credible, sustained damage to human trafficking, but that hasn’t stopped the bill’s supporters from trotting out debunked numbers anytime they need a soundbite.

There will likely be no studies performed by the government to determine FOSTA’s actual impact on sex trafficking, but plenty of academics are offering evidence that pushing sex work further underground is endangering the lives of sex workers. This is just the icing on the stupid, life-threatening cake as multiple law enforcement agencies — including the DOJ itself — pointed out passing FOSTA would make it more difficult to hunt down traffickers.

A study released in 2017 showed the introduction of erotic services section on Craiglist tracked with a 17% drop in female homicides across many major cities. Craigslist spent a few years being publicly vilified by public officials — mainly states attorneys general — before dumping its erotic services section (ERS). This didn’t stop sex work or trafficking, but it did shift the focus away from Craiglist as everyone affected found other services to use.

A newly-released study [PDF] (via Sophie Cull) shows there’s been a corresponding increase in female homicides since the point Craigslist dumped ERS. Online services — enabled by Section 230 — helped sex workers stay safe by reducing or eliminating a few of the more dangerous variables.

This is not a surprise.

The effects were predicted when FOSTA was being debated.

Free Market Fail, ISP Edition

Greed, it appears, is not so good

People have been talking for years about how unleashing the creative power on markets on the internet service market.

The problem is that providers are natural monopolies, and as such their incentive is to minimize their monopoly rents, not by providing better and cheaper service.

Case in point, the studies showing that zero-rating some internet content raises prices:

When an ISP decides to exempt certain applications or services from cutting into a user’s data cap, that’s zero rating. And the evidence is in that it conclusively makes broadband more expensive.

A comprehensive multi-year study by the non-profit, comparing the 30 member countries of the European Union (EU) on net neutrality enforcement, has found that zero rating business practices by wireless carriers have increased the cost of wireless data compared to countries without zero rating. This directly contradicts all of the assertions by major wireless carriers that their zero rating practices are “free data” for consumers.

Based on the evidence, zero rating not only serves as a means to enhance ISPs’ power over the Internet, but it’s also how they charge consumers more money for wireless service. Zero rating was originally going to be banned by the FCC under the General Conduct Rule, but when the FCC changed leadership the agency promptly green lighted and encouraged the industry to engage in zero rating practices before it began its repeal of net neutrality.

EU countries that do not have zero rating practices enjoyed a double digit drop in the price of wireless data after a year. In comparison, the countries with prevalent zero rating practices from their wireless carriers consistently saw data prices increase. This makes sense; carriers have an incentive to raise the costs of exploring alternatives in order to make their preferred, zero-rated choice of content more attractive. However, once that incentive is removed, the wireless carrier no longer has a reason to raise the cost of alternatives because nothing is given special treatment. In short, zero rating practices cost you more money.

So not a surprise.

The evidence is clear:  The more that internet service policy depends on “free market” forces, the more that the service costs, and the lower the quality of service.

Oh, You Delicate Snowflakes

It looks like Amazon little fee-fees are getting hurt by criticism from some New York politicians, and it is threatening to take its balls* and go home.

The undeservedly wealthy and powerful are just SO sensitive: is reconsidering its plan to bring 25,000 jobs to a new campus in New York City following a wave of opposition from local politicians, according to two people familiar with the company’s thinking.

The company has not leased or purchased office space for the project, making it easy to withdraw its commitment. Unlike in Virginia — where elected leaders quickly passed an incentive package for a separate headquarters facility — final approval from New York state is not expected until 2020.

Tennessee officials have also embraced Amazon’s plans to bring 5,000 jobs to Nashville, which this week approved $15.2 million in road, sewer and other improvements related to that project.

Amazon executives have had internal discussions recently to reassess the situation in New York and explore alternatives, said the two people, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to speak candidly about the company’s perspective.

“The question is whether it’s worth it if the politicians in New York don’t want the project, especially with how people in Virginia and Nashville have been so welcoming,” said one person familiar with the company’s plans.

Let me guess, this, “Person familiar with the company’s plans,” has a name that sounds a lot like, “Splif Cheetos.”

Amazon supporters are aghast that local New York politicians — including Gianaris and Van Bramer — have turned against the company.

They are aghast I tell you, aghast, that they are not being properly worshiped.

Who the f%$# do they think they are?  My cats?

*As an aside, you can see Amazon’s balls in their full glory on the website of the National Enquirer.