Category: Art

This is an Outrage

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In an otherwise anodyne article about how modern super-hero animation is uniquely innovative and edgy, (This same article has  written at least once every 18 months or so since at least 1980) they release a bit of shocking news, that the producers of the Harley Quinn animated series were forced to delete a scene where Batman went down on Catwoman.

They though that it was the wrong image for a hero, which is complete crap.  Real heroes, and real men, lick pussy.*

My reaction upon hearing the news was, “Will No One Rid Me of these Turbulent Media Executives?”†

Seriously, the Harley Quinn series is profane, with “S” and “F” Bombs, sexual innuendo, violence, murders, and and theater people, how could they not have Batman NOT demonstrating is consideration to his true love’s‡ pleasure?

I am profoundly disappointed, and I want to see if there is a suppressed clip of this on the internet.  It could be the new butthole cut of cats:

“It’s incredibly gratifying and free to be using characters that are considered villains because you just have so much more leeway,” says Halpern. “A perfect example of that is in this third season of ‘Harley’ [when] we had a moment where Batman was going down on Catwoman. And DC was like, ‘You can’t do that. You absolutely cannot do that.’ They’re like, ‘Heroes don’t do that.’ So, we said, ‘Are you saying heroes are just selfish lovers?’ They were like, ‘No, it’s that we sell consumer toys for heroes. It’s hard to sell a toy if Batman is also going down on someone.’”

(In fairness to DC, both Halpern and Schumacker went on to say that the company has been remarkably supportive of their series and has allowed them to push the envelope numerous times. Still, it remains to be seen if Batman and Catwoman will be shown engaging in some bedroom antics in Season 3 or if it will simply be implied via cunning linguistics.)

I want the to see the caring and sharing lover cut of that Harly Quinn episode.

This is not The Onion, it’s Variety.

*Don’t hatge me because I made this joke. If you had thought of it, you would have too.

†It’s a reference to the conflict between Thomas à Becket and King Henry II of England. Read a history book.

‡Unless you think that his true love is Dick Grayson/Robin/Nightwing, but that is would take me down a rabbit hole that involve at least a dozen posts.

Strange Times Require Strange Tools

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Pleased to present for your consideration, the Zoom Escaper, which provides technical subterfuge to allow one to get out of a remote meeting:

Had enough Zoom meetings? Can’t bear another soul-numbing day of sitting on video calls, the only distraction your rapidly aging face, pinned in one corner of the screen like a dying bug? Well, if so, then boy do we have the app for you. Meet Zoom Escaper: a free web widget that lets you add an array of fake audio effects to your next Zoom Call, gifting you with numerous reasons to end the meeting and escape, while you still can.

You can choose from barking dogs, construction noises, crying babies, or even subtler effects like choppy audio and unwanted echoes. Created by artist Sam Lavigne, Zoom Escaper is fantastically simple to use. All you need do is download a free bit of audio software called VB-Audio that routes your audio through the website, then change your audio input in Zoom from your microphone to VB-Audio, and play with the effects.

You can watch a video tutorial on how to set up Zoom Escaper and listen to a sample of the various sound effects here:


If you’re running Zoom Escaper, you can’t actually hear the sound effects yourself. But I was able to test the site’s functionality with the help of my colleague, Verge news editor Chaim Gartenberg. Here was his opinion of the various effects Zoom Escaper had to offer:

  • Urination: “That sounds very fake. Also, I’m not entirely sure what the plan is to sell this as a reason to leave a call?”
  • Construction: “This sounds like you literally stood in the middle of a construction site. I think the sounds need to be a bit more muffled to sell it, but it’s very good.”
  • Man Weeping: “Those are the sobs of a broken man. But who’s crying — is it your roommate, your partner?”
  • Bad Connection: “This one works really well. Your audio is coming through broken up and disrupted. Get off the call.”
  • Echo: “Extremely annoying and very convincing. This sounds like a busted Zoom connection. If someone I was speaking to had this, I’d tell them to get it fixed. It wouldn’t be feasible to have a meeting with that.”
  • Wind: “If you were trying to skive off work, I’m not sure how you’d convincingly sell gale force winds in your own office.”
  • Dog: “That sounds very real. It sounds like a dog barking outside, but maybe not the sort of thing you’d need to take care of?”
  • Upset Baby: “That baby sounds decently upset! This is definitely something you should go and check on! Go and take care of your baby!”

This is so very tempting.

Also, it’s art, according to its creator, artist Sam Lavigne.

Our IP Regime Has Gotten Out of Hand

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An artist has now gotten an exclusive license to a color:

Anish Kapoor, the famed sculptor, who created the ArcelorMittal Orbit sculpture for the 2012 Olympics, has provoked the fury of fellow artists this week by acquiring the exclusive rights to use the blackest shade of black in the world. Vantablack, as the hue is known, derives its name from the terms Vertically Aligned NanoTube Arrays. Created in 2014 by scientists at UK-based company, Surrey NanoSystems Limited, for the purpose of disguising satellites, it is the blackest substance known to man, absorbing a maximum of 99.965% of radiation in the visible spectrum. With its light-absorbing properties, it has also been used to hide Stealth fighter jets from enemy eyes.

While aerospace companies will continue to be able to use the shade, in the art world, its use will be limited to Anish, as confirmed by a NanoSystems spokesman on Tuesday. Sir Anish did not respond to requests for comment. He did, however, speak about Vantablack last year, saying: “The material is astonishing, so deeply black that your eyes can’t really see it at all. It is like staring into the kind of black hole found in outer space.” According to reports, it seems as though a license-type of relationship exists between Anish and NanoSystems. There has been no word, however, on how much Anish paid in exchange for the exclusive right to use the Vantablack substance.

Portraitist Christian Furr is one of the artists that has spoken out about the limited availability of the color, telling the Daily Mail: “We should be able to use it. It isn’t right that it belongs to one man.” Furr, who had planned to use Vantablack in a series of paintings called Animals, elaborated, saying: “I’ve never heard of an artist monopolizing a material. Using pure black in an artwork grounds it.”

This is f%$#ed up and sh%$.

The classic Scorsese movie is Taxi Driver, not Uber Driver.

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I dunno, maybe it’s a 20-teens thing that a wannabee Travis Bickle is now driving Uber:

The man accused of killing six people and injuring two more in a Saturday evening shooting rampage in Kalamazoo, Michigan, was an Uber driver who picked up and dropped off passengers between shootings, a source with knowledge of the investigation told CNN.

 The source, who is not authorized to speak to media, said investigators believe Jason Brian Dalton was even looking for fares after the final shooting of a nearly seven-hour killing rampage.

It could be that this guy is just nuts.

It could be that Uber’s abuse of its drivers drove him mad.

It could be that a he has a history of issues that would not have allowed him to get a hack license.

I’m not sure, but I saw the Scorsese reference.

My Thoughts Following David Bowie’s Death

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Live Version

I never bought any of his albums or singles, but my favorite song of his is Putting out a Fire from the 1982 movie Cat People.

I saw it, but was not particularly impressed. I preferred the original 1942 movie, which is widely viewed as a classic.

Most of my experiences with Bowie as an artist were as an actor.

I saw him in the 1976 film, The Man Who Fell to Earth, which was a his cinematic debut, and quite literally the worst cinematic experience in my life.

It was boring, pretentious, confusing, ponderous, and dull.

Looking back, I am left the question, “How the f%$# can you cast David Bowie as an alien, and completely f%$# it up?”

By the same token he was also in one of my favorite films, the Tony Scott’s criminally unappreciated The Hunger, a stylish film starring Bowie, Susan Sarandon, and Catherine Deneuve.

It is a stylish vampire film that eschews many of the cliches, and it is unbelievably hot. (Watch it)

Of Labyrinth, one of Jim Henson’s few fizzles, the less said the better.

I do see a parallel between his music career and his theatrical career, in that he never seemed to settle on a personae.

Both in music and in film, he was a sort of character actor, where he reveled in changing who he was in public.

Any of the music and cinema buffs out there, feel free to tell me that I am full of it.

Normally, I Avoid Super Hero Racial Casting Issues, But………

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In the new Fantastic Four movie, Sue Storm (later Storm-Richards), the Invisible Girl, and Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, are being played by Kate Mara and Michael B. Jordan respectively.

Ms. Mara and Mr. Jordan are both talented actors with impressive CVs, but she is white, and he is black, and Sue and Johnny Storm are brother and sister.

I went to the Wiki page, and Papa Storm is played by Reg E. Cathey, a black character actor, so I am assuming that Sue is adopted, (well, duh!) and that there will be which means that there will almost certainly be 10 minutes of back story to explain this in the film.

If not, you are going to have a lot of stupid people demanding back story anyway.

My problem is that when one reintroduces a series, this is the sort of sh%$ that you don’t need.

There is a going to be a Lot of back-storying in this film anyway (The first Thor movie was pretty much just backstory, for example, which left me unimpressed), and I think this adds thing that don’t need to be there.

As I noted in my comparison of Captain America and Thor, (link) backstory cannot take precedence over plot and character, and this choice by the director and/or producer points that they have not learned this lesson.

So I think that this points to bad cinematic decision.

And don’t get me started on the fact that Ben Grimm is not wearing pants. The Thing wears pants.

Out Mutha F%$#ing Standing Family Experience

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Scaramouche, Scaramouche,
can you do the Fandango!

The whole family went to the 2015 Artscape, billed as “America’s largest free arts festival!” (Yes they use the exclamation point).

It’s one part an arts festival, one part local music, one part classic Baltimore weirdness, one part corporate PR, one part an enormous concentration of stall food, and one part block party.

A great time was had by all, and on the way home, the Queen song, Bohemian Rhapsody, and, at my prodding, we all sang along.

It was a truly brilliant moment.

BTW, no one caught it on a cell phone video, and if we did, we wouldn’t share it with you.

It’s a family thing.

Good News Everyone!

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Bloom County is returning to the funny papers, and I am stoked:

After 25 years, Berkeley Breathed is returning to his Pulitzer Prize-winning comic strip, “Bloom County.” Breathed announced the new incarnation of the politically-minded strip via a post on Facebook that featured him working on a new comic with the words “Bloom County 2015” at the top.

“Bloom County” originally ran from December 1980 until 1989, just two years after he won the Pulitzer. The characters, such as Bill the Cat, Opus the Penguin, Hodge-Podge the Rabbit, Milo Bloom, and Cutter John, lived on in the Sunday-only strip “Outland” from 1989 to 1995, as well as “Opus” from 2003 to 2008. When “Opus'” run ended, Breathed said he was stepping away from strips entirely and began focusing on writing children’s books. At the time, he said the political climate in the country had grown too bitter for him to continue taking a light tone on things, and he wanted to get out before things got too tough.

However, with the 2016 presidential campaign season heating up, it seems that Breathed has found something funny to talk about again:

I will miss Jon Stewart during the 2016 campaign, but Bloom County  coming back takes the sting out, at least a bit.

Why Does this Remind Me of Stalinist Architecture?

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Positively Hideous

It seems to me that whenever a reactionary government remains in power too long, it seems that they develop an edifice complex:

A plan to erect a 10-storey statue in a national park on one of Canada’s most scenic shorelines has prompted outrage and sparked a growing political row as the country heads towards a general election this fall.

The statue of Mother Canada – a cloaked female figure with her arms outstretched towards the Atlantic Ocean – is intended to honour the country’s soldiers who died overseas.

But growing anger over the plan has made it a new focus of opposition to the increasingly unpopular government of Conservative prime minister Stephen Harper.

The proposed monument is an awkwardly remodelled, vastly upscaled version of an earlier statue, known as Canada Bereft, which adorns the memorial to the country’s first world war dead near Vimy, France.

The design has been widely lambasted both for its design and its proposed location in Cape Breton Highlands national park. In an editorial this week, the Globe and Mail newspaper described it as “offensively tasteless” and a “hubristically arrogant act of arrogant unoriginality”.

“The bigger-is-better approach to art is best left to Stalinist tyrants, theme park entrepreneurs and insecure municipalities hoping to waylay bored drive-by tourists,” the paper wrote.

Stephen Harper has gagged government scientists,  used the Canadian Revenue Agency to target charities who protest his agenda, and gutted the census, among other things, and now we have this.

My condolences to my friends in Canada, because this cannot be good, particularly if the Conservatives are not turfed out in the 2015 elections.

The End of the Vulcan Bar Matzvah*

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Nimoy has had a varied career, actor, director, poet, photographer, and writer.
As such, it’s hard to find his best moment, but his worst moment is clearly singing this song

Leonard Nimoy has died of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) at 83:

Leonard Nimoy, the sonorous, gaunt-faced actor who won a worshipful global following as Mr. Spock, the resolutely logical human-alien first officer of the Starship Enterprise in the television and movie juggernaut “Star Trek,” died on Friday morning at his home in the Bel Air section of Los Angeles. He was 83.

His wife, Susan Bay Nimoy, confirmed his death, saying the cause was end-stage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

Mr. Nimoy announced that he had the disease last year, attributing it to years of smoking, a habit he had given up three decades earlier. He had been hospitalized earlier in the week.

Seriously. If you smoke, stop today.

*It’s an old family story. My mom was talking to a friend in Alaska, Danny Plotkin, and asked how he was doing. He replied to her that he was flying down to the lower 48 to go to a “Vulcan bar Mitzvah”. It turns out that Leonard Nimoy was his nephew, and Nimoy’s son was having a Bar Mitzvah